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Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 1:07:01 PM

fierysub1390

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i feel like their must be something more to PE than i'm understanding, can Someone please give me examples of real life and online applications of this?
*bows* thank You

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 1:16:58 PM

SteelofUtah

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I give you Discipline you give me Power over your Actions. Mix together Bake at 350 Degrees until golden brown and bubbling and Viola you have a PE.

I perfer thr term Authority Exchange.

Just a Neater Package.

Steel

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 1:33:07 PM

fierysub1390

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"actions" as far as what tho? do the actions controlled vary greatly between person to person? or is this just the just the foundation of a D/s relationship that i didn't know had a term?

is it only controlling actions or is it, formality and respect as well?

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 1:46:38 PM

SteelofUtah

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Here I was trying to be silly and you go and make it all serious like.

Anyway. The truth of the matter is that a TPE or an PE for that matter is statically defined as a series of actions that lead up to it.

The IDEA of a Power Exchange is that You have something I want (Your Surrender to my Will and Discipline) and I have something that you want (My Ability to Lead, and a set discipline that you wish to learn) an agreement is made that gives Power over your actions (*All of them or the ones that are agreed upon) the reason I perfer Authority Exchange is because Power doesn't imply the nature of what you are seeking.

I want Control. I want Authority to have Control of all your actions from the way you behave to the way you cary yourself, under a TAE anything I ask is within limits because I have Total Authority over you.

Does this help any or are you having a specific problem and looking to get to the Justification on a specific situation?

Steel

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 1:58:24 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fierysub1390

"actions" as far as what tho? do the actions controlled vary greatly between person to person? or is this just the just the foundation of a D/s relationship that i didn't know had a term?

is it only controlling actions or is it, formality and respect as well?

The authority to control ALL of my actions is there.....which sounds very extreme........but the reality is that while he CAN , he doesn't need to or even WANT to. I'm alright as I am for much of the time.

Sometimes he is a stickler for formality and more obvious shows of respect.

agirl

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 2:02:02 PM

fierysub1390

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thank You for Your help *bows* i had seen it under the interests on a profile and was curious that's all

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 2:12:33 PM

feydeplume

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You know sometimes you just have a real way with words. I love your being silly posts, but when you decide to be serious i find i read your words with real care. The subtext is great and you don't seem to give in to assumptions in the knowledge of the reader nor talk down to them.

It's nice.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 2:48:34 PM

SteelofUtah

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Awwww Thank You fey.

You just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I am glad when anyone takes something away from what I have said.

Steel

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 7:10:08 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

The authority to control ALL of my actions is there.....which sounds very extreme........but the reality is that while he CAN , he doesn't need to or even WANT to. I'm alright as I am for much of the time.

Sometimes he is a stickler for formality and more obvious shows of respect.

agirl

What she said. He has the right to make all kinds of decisions but he usually doesn't care to. He almost never feels like picking a dinner menu, about all he cares is that it should be around 6:30 and not include peas. But on occasion he has ordered burgers or steak because he feels like grilling.

We don't have much formality or protocol though. But we've got a bunch of teens around and life with them doesn't lend to formality or protocol.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/19/2009 8:48:40 PM

sravaka

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Random intrusion: I like Steel's substitution of "authority" for "power".... but I can't now and never have been able to wrap my head around the "exchange" part. To me it's more like power/authority transfer. I have control over myself until I give it to some other guy, but that is done in a single unidirectional motion... and at that point it is done until it's undone. (intermittent resistance, etc. notwithstanding)

Does this make sense? Or am I being pedantic? Or clueless?

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/20/2009 2:47:14 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fierysub1390

i feel like their must be something more to PE than i'm understanding, can Someone please give me examples of real life and online applications of this?
*bows* thank You

That's the trouble with discussing 'Power Exchange' around here; seems everyone wants to turn into 'authority this' or 'authority that', which completely muddles and derails what should be a fairly simple concept to grasp....

So what is this "power"...?

Forget the lifestyle for a sec and look at a bigger picture covering any and all things in life. Anyone who has something you desire has a certain power over you - FACT OF ALL LIFE! When it comes to relationships and sexual attraction etc, no matter what your persuasion or dynamic, that power (over you) comes in the form of desirability - ideally something that is reciprocated.

Me, I'm a hetero male Dom who has no interest in vanilla (non submissive) women, hence they have no power (of desirability) over me. And since I'm only interested in a fem/sub, they certainly do have a certain power (of desirability) over me. This is usually where someone trots out that other ole chestnut of the "gift of submission".... *groan* But me; I've been around long enough to know I also have something uniquely desirable to fem/subs that they also can't get from a vanilla male - being a Dom is *my* power (of desirability).

Being alone (whether Dom or sub) renders your "power" useless - one is no good unless complemented by the other; which is true of any relationship dynamic, btw.... As with any relationship, combining (or "exchanging") both powers usually gets you something that is far greater than the sum of the two individual contributions. Since both D & s are necessary to complete that exchange of powers, each "opposing" power is equal (in respective desirability). What isn't equal in a D/s relationship is authority and control etc - the sub must defer to the Dom for any exchange to be even possible.

All these "authority" alternatives are people trying to either fix what was never broken or change what they never understood to begin with.... If you're a submissive (for eg), you have a power (of desirability) that only a complementing Dominant can appreciate - simple!

Focus.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/20/2009 4:18:35 AM

sojourner9

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Focus -- That is one of the best written explanations I've heard in quite awhile.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/20/2009 8:57:36 AM

antipode

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quote:

is it only controlling actions or is it, formality and respect as well?

Interesting question. I don't know that there is a real definition as to how that would work (SteelofUtah does have an elegant explanation though). I tend to put TPE down as "one of those things" that you can read all sorts of stuff into. I can theorize about it, of course, but I can't think of a clear definition that "everybody uses". Go with the flow.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/20/2009 9:02:52 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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It's not a power exchange, it's an authority transfer.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_516498/mpage_1/key_uat/tm.htm#517038
control vs tpe

http://www.collarchat.com/m_342044/mpage_3/key_uat/tm.htm#343397
Who's really in control?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_103815/mpage_1/key_uat%252Ctpe/tm.htm#103815
TPE = Totally Pointless Expression?

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/20/2009 9:45:51 AM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: fierysub1390

i feel like their must be something more to PE than i'm understanding, can Someone please give me examples of real life and online applications of this?
*bows* thank You

That's the trouble with discussing 'Power Exchange' around here; seems everyone wants to turn into 'authority this' or 'authority that', which completely muddles and derails what should be a fairly simple concept to grasp....

So what is this "power"...?

Forget the lifestyle for a sec and look at a bigger picture covering any and all things in life. Anyone who has something you desire has a certain power over you - FACT OF ALL LIFE! When it comes to relationships and sexual attraction etc, no matter what your persuasion or dynamic, that power (over you) comes in the form of desirability - ideally something that is reciprocated.

Me, I'm a hetero male Dom who has no interest in vanilla (non submissive) women, hence they have no power (of desirability) over me. And since I'm only interested in a fem/sub, they certainly do have a certain power (of desirability) over me. This is usually where someone trots out that other ole chestnut of the "gift of submission".... *groan* But me; I've been around long enough to know I also have something uniquely desirable to fem/subs that they also can't get from a vanilla male - being a Dom is *my* power (of desirability).

Being alone (whether Dom or sub) renders your "power" useless - one is no good unless complemented by the other; which is true of any relationship dynamic, btw.... As with any relationship, combining (or "exchanging") both powers usually gets you something that is far greater than the sum of the two individual contributions. Since both D & s are necessary to complete that exchange of powers, each "opposing" power is equal (in respective desirability). What isn't equal in a D/s relationship is authority and control etc - the sub must defer to the Dom for any exchange to be even possible.

All these "authority" alternatives are people trying to either fix what was never broken or change what they never understood to begin with.... If you're a submissive (for eg), you have a power (of desirability) that only a complementing Dominant can appreciate - simple!

Focus.

If a man cannot take my power and drop me to my knees he´s useless in a relationship with me and I would never turn over any authority to him.

Whatever floats your boat though. For me, it is power exchange. For others, there is some reason that someone turns over authority .. it does not just happen in a vaccuum but I will be damned if I know what it is for others if not power. Nutshell, does not really matter as it is not my relationship.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/23/2009 1:50:24 AM

SirDarkside357

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I don't do the on line thing, but in real life, I believe that PE is the act of a female giving total control to the male, and the male taking the responsibility of having that control.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/23/2009 12:24:24 PM

Jeptha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fierysub1390

i feel like their must be something more to PE than i'm understanding, can Someone please give me examples of real life and online applications of this?
*bows* thank You

To me it's very simple. She and I are equal and autonomous human beings, with equal decision-making capabilities. In power exchange (or authority transfer, if you like), she grants some of her decision making power to me.

You can get into the why's and wherefor's (and many other parameters) , but at the heart of it I believe it is just that simple.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/24/2009 3:15:57 AM

Leonidas

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PE, TPE (sometimes APE), were terms that we coined right here on the internet 15 years or so ago on alt.sex.bondage. The "exchange" part is meaning to say that the dominant party gets power over the submissive party in exchange for taking responsiblity for the outcome.

In plain english, whenever you agree to do what someone else says outside of a "scene" or play context, you're engaging in "power exchange". If you have no safe words, contracts, negotiated limits, or any other side deal that limits the dominant's power over you, you're engaging in Total, or Absolute power exchange (TPE, APE).

These terms arose out of a lot of discussions we had back then about the nature of dominance and submission. If you agree to be the dominant party, and the submissive agrees to be obedient, and then your life and/or theirs proceed directly into the toilet, it's fair to say that it's your responsiblity, as long as the submissive held up their end of the bargain, and was in fact obedient. That is the implicit "exchange" that occurs with D/s, unless you're just playing at it.

This touches on something that we were just discussing in another thread. If you're looking to enter into a "Power Exchange" with someone, it's probably a good idea to figure out whether they'd be better at calling the shots than you are. If they wouldn't be, all you are doing is facilitating their delusions of grandeur to your own disadvantage. It's not something that a rational person ought to do.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 2/24/2009 3:17:03 AM >

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/24/2009 3:20:36 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

quote:

ORIGINAL: fierysub1390

i feel like their must be something more to PE than i'm understanding, can Someone please give me examples of real life and online applications of this?
*bows* thank You

To me it's very simple. She and I are equal and autonomous human beings, with equal decision-making capabilities. In power exchange (or authority transfer, if you like), she grants some of her decision making power to me.

You can get into the why's and wherefor's (and many other parameters) , but at the heart of it I believe it is just that simple.

Nope, this is basically the crux of LA's perpetual Power Exchange *hijack* - authority transfer!

IE, us poor simpering Dom/mes are left all passive and impotent until a charitable submissive comes along and empowers us with authority. Which amounts to the sub having all the power and control, of course, so there's no actual "exchange"!

Or who knows, she may even explain it one day instead of just leaving her usual blanket statement that (apparently) the other 99.9% of us lifestylers don't get it or are "doing it wrong"....

Focus.

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RE: Power Exchange - 2/24/2009 6:10:41 AM

chamberqueen

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I love answering with examples. : ) Say that you have been talking with someone and they tell you to be on chat at 6:00 PM. You are there at 6:00 and waiting. You just gave them that "power" over you. You made sure that you were there when they wanted you to be even though you could have been doing something else. If he has told you that he likes to be called "Sir" and you do so, you have turned over that amount of control to him. The exchange of power doesn't have to be in big things only, but in allowing ourselves to be directed by someone else.

In real life there is obviously an even bigger range. It can be as small as dressing the way that he wants or kneeling up to giving over control of contact with others and turning over control of finances. The choice is ultimately up to the sub on how much control to give up. Ideally this is based on the amount of trust in the person. Sadly, some have found themselves used because they put their trust in the wrong person or turned over too much control too easily. While subs/slaves often yearn to serve it is best done with eyes wide open.

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