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What is normal? - 2/19/2009 9:43:01 PM   
MARIEL


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		What is normal,when meeting a new Master? I know the golden rule is never to "do" anything before you "meet". But what if you live in two different countries? And he orderes you to alot of stuff first chat,want to collar you?(online and promise to do so when you two meet a time you agreed about in future,maybe months)
What is the limit there? Im used to none of my former did go that fast as first chat etc,we waited til we met. What do you think? What if he/she wants you to do alot, and as proof, and swears to you is honest? Id like to hear your views.
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RE: What is normal? - 2/19/2009 10:02:39 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I think you shouldnt go faster than you are comfy with, or do anything you're not comfy with until you've actually met.

Just my opinion.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MARIEL)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/19/2009 10:08:45 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		personally, hold out for your beliefs.  the Man i am currently seeing also wanted eagerly to collar me on line first.  after a long chat, he agreed to wait till we met.  well, we met and we are planning another very soon.  its all about your comfort level too.  you dont have to be a cam slut to "prove" your devotion and submission.  its ok if your into that sorta thing, but, dont compromise your personal values for the sake of a "possible" collar off line.

good luck to you

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/19/2009 10:12:29 PM   
MARIEL


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		That is a very thin line..  some also want to keep you up at all times of the day,preventing you from this and that some even from sleeping telling you to sleep in between some days. Im very confused. How do you tell,even if you might think its not quiiite right,but not even quiiite wrong,how do you see,that they are serious? fx if you are told to go on cam,naked,with all kinds of things,and crawl on floor etc.. and he swears hes true and invites you to his country..at specific times.. what shall you believe?
and wants to collar you asap?

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/19/2009 11:04:25 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		seriously, sounds like a player to me.  

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MARIEL)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What is normal? - 2/19/2009 11:11:07 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		lol.. well.. for me personally, if i am interested in a man, and we are speaking about a meeting, i will get on cam.. and have done so naked.. once... some men just want proof you are truly a woman... sorta cant blame them.  as far as the rest, no doing.  i dont cam to fuck or get someone off.  phone is out too.  sure, ill yap his ear off, but we dont do the phone sex thing.

as far as sleep deprivation, why isnt your health important to him?  keeping you up for days is not healthy.  i get yelled at if i dont get 8 hours a night.  if they are serious, they will wait.  its like this to me... are they trying to master you, or their cocks?  i left one a year ago who was so into his cock he would forgo sleep to be on line, ignore his children, forget to eat, and have wild emotional mood swings when the light of his cyber life would "disappear for days" then swing back when she popped back up with some lame excuse.  made my life hell having to deal with all that.. lol.

slow down, take a few deep breaths, enjoy the friendships you have and dont allow anyone... anyone.. to push you faster or farther than you are comfortable with.  yes, you are looking for a Master, but also a man who is in charge of his emotions, his cock and his life.  if he cant control those long enough to wait to meet you, why bother?



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to MARIEL)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What is normal? - 2/19/2009 11:21:49 PM   
MARIEL


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		Well the thing goes, we met,he wants to collar me online, he wanted me to get nude,crawl on floor,show off my tools,use them, always have dresscode,-all this,to "proove". Asking me for summer when I can arrive at his country and stay there for summers end, and if all well prolonged.(were talking about ltr) And I was just .."you might be a horny net guy,or,this might be because we are apart". I dont know which is which.
SOME might be okay. But I dont know about all of it.
Wanting me to change my profile.
Could only be online after midnight,Im working-if not free-very early til afternoon,so I need my sleep. I told him so, he says,"Im allowed" some nights, and other nights I would stay up. excuse me!? I go up 04.00 am in the mornings to go for work!

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 4:26:04 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Block him. It really is that simple.

And next time don't talk to people you can't meet.

For me, sleep deprivation is a hard limit. So if the man was only available when I slept, then I wouldn't talk to him anymore.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MARIEL)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 4:35:41 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		It is morons like this guy that give the whole lifestyle a bad name.  He is dragging you into his fantasy world of lunacy, drop him like a hotcake.

If you aren't brave enough, send him to me, I'll take care of him for ya lol.  He assumes you are weak and thinks internet intimidation tactics are what D/s is all about.  Ya, send him over, I'll rip him a new a$$.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 4:48:16 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		he is a jerk. block him

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(in reply to MARIEL)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 4:53:53 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

seriously, sounds like a player to me.  


Sounds like more than one.

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 5:01:08 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		He's not a "Master".  He's a horny jerk who is playing on the internet.  Don't entertain him anymore.  Live your life the way you need to live it, and find someone who respects you and your lifestyle.   



_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 9:01:23 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I agree block him.  Sounds like he is using you to get his jollies don't let him.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 9:04:16 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Do whatever works for you.  If you're enjoying it, go forward.  If not, step back.  This is your choice for yourself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 9:15:14 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		I join the crowd and also suggest to block him or just ensure you only go your way you feel comfortable with (it is absolutely ok to stick to your guns and do only what you feel comfortable to do). If guys wanted online stuff from me they realised soon thats not going to go very far. Either they got put off and run away, or they accepted it as they accepted ME and took me serious.

Regarding sleep deprivation I totally agree to it as a hard limit. I currently do have lack of sleep to keep up with my Uni demands and I always get shown from my body that it does not appreciate it (my fibromyalgia got about 300% worse in last 4 years due to my lifestyle in UK where I have far less sleep then is good for the health and by now am on medication to ensure that I get good sleep during the nights when I can sleep well.)
Despite that if this sleep deprivation is due to different countries....I am likely to meet someone in new zealand this summer (we are in touch now since approx. a year) with the time difference he is 13 hours ahead of me, therefore when I am at home from uni and placement at 6pm he has 7am at the following day and is about to go off to work. Once he comes back I am often about to go off to bed (or busy with studying). Nevertheless he wouldnt suggest things like that as this is just plain nonsense, not to mention very selfish. If his selfishness to have you on there does matters more to him then your health and wellbeing....then it's time to leave that contact for good.

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 9:25:32 AM   
BigSi2009


Posts: 80
Joined: 12/14/2008
From: Sussex, UK
Status: offline
quote:

h
quote:

ORIGINAL: MARIEL

What is normal,when meeting a new Master? I know the golden rule is never to "do" anything before you "meet". But what if you live in two different countries? And he orderes you to alot of stuff first chat,want to collar you?(online and promise to do so when you two meet a time you agreed about in future,maybe months)
What is the limit there? Im used to none of my former did go that fast as first chat etc,we waited til we met. What do you think? What if he/she wants you to do alot, and as proof, and swears to you is honest? Id like to hear your views.


I only speak from my standpoint but I would not expect a sub to go through the things you have discussed during online conversations.  Sure I will set tasks to do during the conversation or for completion outside of those times and submission to me later on.  However, the sleep deprivation thing is bullshit.  I might request that during a real met/time together but not outside of those times - and besides what use is a tired sub?  I also recognise that people have a real life to attend to as I do too.


_____________________________

If I gave you my signature, you'd be able to steal my identity.

(in reply to MARIEL)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 10:30:10 AM   
dualityinmotion


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		A dominant who really cares about his submissive would not endanger her health by requiring sleep deprivation.   Someone really serious about wanting to have you in his life for real will not mind waiting for physical compliance in person vs. on a cam.  He should be concerned about your safety and comfort.  If he is not, at this stage, would you really want to be with him in real life?

(in reply to BigSi2009)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 12:06:24 PM   
MARIEL


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		No Ive decided hes not going to get his jollies from me   And if he cant understand that,hes out!  

(in reply to dualityinmotion)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 5:32:44 PM   
smallspoon


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/18/2009
Status: offline 		Sounds like an online Dom to me.  I don't play that game.  If you are uncomfortable at all, you might wish to stop any and all contact with that particular individual.  

(in reply to MARIEL)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What is normal? - 2/20/2009 7:43:04 PM   
MARIEL


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		The thing is he lives in Turkey. what are you to do in such a case? I mean..online is all you have. Hes invited me to him this summer,over the summer if possible and to stay permanent if everythings alright. He just state that all time.. that he do wants irl ltr.  I just talked to him.. told him all. He went on and on explaining to me,when i had said yes to be his sort of,he could talk long for hours,but also from time to time ordering me doing some sexual for him. I said but weve just met yesterday. First time he ordered me to be on floor,with tools, playing some with some very short, dresscode.. showing myself naked..  and today I was fed up and told him i wont do it. its too early and told him all I was thinking. He did listen to me, but he still insisted on "from time to time",and,i also heard that "you agreed" card. First he wanted me to flogger myself in front of cam,I said i cant. discussion. then he wanted me to take my top off. i couldnt. then discussion again sigh! and i went to bed.
what do you mean about this.

(in reply to smallspoon)
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