stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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I have to echo what LaTigresse has said, technical knowledge on how to do things is secondary to attentiveness and obedience which are really the only two things you need to be in service. I speak from experience having been trained by former Mistresses in formal domestic service and this includes being trained thoroughly by my formative Mistress, a Warsaw pro-domme, using only the Polish language, over a period of five years. Her training method was 'listen to me and do as I tell you'. This might seem surprising but much of what I was taught was taught sat at a coffee table over coffee and conversation and spending time with Mistress.
Leave the illusion of domestic excellence to the fantasy, the reality is that you are serving one woman, one Mistress, and the only thing you ne3ed to be able to do this is the trilogy of attentiveness, personal integrity and obedience, which gives knowledge about your Mistress and her needs and preferences and also progress, which is in itself essential to the development of the relationship.
Understanding the reality that you are serving just one woman, one Mistress, is essential because the relationship a domestic service submissive has with a Mistress is an incredibly intimate relationship. You are serving her in her home, the most intimate place in her life, therefore it is the relationship you form and develop with your Mistress which is far more important than any knowledge you can gain from attending a course.
I started a thread some time back in General BDSM Discussion about 'the Mistress within' as a way of training, where you watch, observe and learn from your Mistress and her preferences and use that knowledge to influence everything what you do for her. I may be wrong, but first hand experience is always preferable to a Mistress over secondhand experience gained from someone else. In a way you seek to become her, you're learning to look at things from her perspective, look at the world her way, so that even when you're not with her you can make the right decisions and choices which she would have made had she been there.
I would also suggest you notice and pay attention to her weaknesses and vulnerabilities. You are right, serving a domme is much different from serving a male dom, and this sort of stuff is never mentioned in any of the femdom fantasy stuff you find on the Internet. I've gained a lot of my experience from serving dommes who have had chronic illnesses, disabilities and other issues who many of the other submissives have rejected simply because they have such issues but from my perspective as a genuine service submissive these issues weighed in on their advantage. I've served a domme who suffered from MS who took great delight in the fact that she never had to worry about her meds or getting an attack because I knew what to do, I knew when she needed to take her meds, I knew when to order a repeat prescription, but more importantly I also knew how to manipulate situations and manage things so these situations never became too stressful for her. Paying attention to her weaknesses and vulnerabilities is important because sometimes you will be dealing with them, and it's part of the reality, the same reality where Mistress isn't going to be the big bad domme all the time.
Service isn't only about submission, but also very much about empowerment and making things possible. For sure you are mainly in a situation where you are required to follow instructions and do as you're told, and you can get by through being reactive, but there are also other situations where you need to take control, use your initiative and be proactive. Being proactive for example is doing something without being told, it's removing that stain from the kitchen worktop without needing to be told, it's knowing and choosing what bra Mistress needs to be wearing with the outfit she wants to wear, it's making a cucumber salad to go with her favourite supper and deciding where she wants it to be served. Knowing your Mistress and what she needs, wants and desires is a big help when it comes to deciding when to be reactive and when to be proactive.
Working at being her best friend is also advisable.
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