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Sub reactions - 2/21/2009 11:00:55 AM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
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It's interesting that two women I have had brief opportunities to bottom to have had very different feelings about how I react to pain. I don't tend to yelp or scream or cry out -- not because I'm trying to play all stoic, but just that isn't my natural reaction to pain. I flinch, I hiss, I draw in breaths, I may whimper or moan a little. But it's the flinching that drew the contrast. One of the women enjoyed it; I suspect if we had developed a D/s relationship, she would find much amusement in finding new ways to make me flinch. The other woman, on the other hand, was much put off by it; I think she would have liked it if I had been making more noise, but the physical reaction kind of made her nervous. I don't know if I could stop it -- it's pretty involuntary, though maybe if I worked at it I could. Or if she might have gotten used to it if we had continued playing. But I do find the contrast interesting.

What sort of reactions to you like to see in your subs when you are tormenting them, physically or otherwise?

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/21/2009 12:40:54 PM

AAkasha

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I get very bored if a sub doesn't react to stimulation. But I can't point to one specific type of response I enjoy, because it depends on the man. My advice to any sub is be keenly aware of your femdom's reactions to your reactions. Some subs whimper and it's sexy as hell; others whimper and sound like a demanding dog. Some men do a sexy, subtle flinch that makes me ache with lust, others grimace and contort their faces in a way that seems forced or silly. When subs try too hard, it shows. I like authentic reactions that show vulnerability, fear, nervousness and compromised pride. I like it when they hang on to their ego as best they can while still reacting, sometimes slightly *pathetically*, to what I am doing. But it's all absolutely on a case by case basis. The one thing I can say I don't like are non-reactions or blatant OVER reactions, or ANY overly "repetitive responses."

For example, "whimper-whimper-whimper-whimper-whimper" in response to pain or humiliation to me starts to sound robotic and forced. The carefully placed, authentic whimper at the height of intensity: VERY HOT.

I also am very turned off by self indulgent reactions -- a sub that is obviously so wrapped up in his own reactions for the sake of reactions that I could not even be in the room. This is by far one of my biggest pet peeves. He likes to whimper and moan and whine so much just to hear himself, and it's obvious. I gag those types and if they keep making noises I just tell them to shut up. If they keep it up, no more playtime with them, and I chalk it up to lack of chemistry.

The femdom's role, however, is just as important. I make absolutely sure that I guide, hint, and flat out encourage the KINDS of responses that get me hot. When he makes the right sound, I stop him, take him by the chin, and say, "That was incredibly hot. Do it again," so that he knows. And I let him touch my pussy to see how wet I am, or I have him lick me, or taste my fingers - I have learned over the years that it makes a FAR more solid impression on a man if you "imprint" your sexual arousal on his memory right next to the actions. He is less likely to forget how wet it makes you when you show him, tell him, let him see or taste -- so he can remember what he is doing right.

Akasha

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/21/2009 1:45:08 PM

LadyConstanze

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This sounds really boring, but an honest reaction... How else can I judge otherwise how you react if you mask your feelings completely? It might get me on the completely wrong track and we both might be quite unhappy with the scene and how things progress.

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/21/2009 5:14:26 PM

LPslittleclip

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i reacted like that when i first played with my M'lady, since then i have begun to be more vocal as that is what my M'lady enjoys. as i have done so i have begun to find it enjoyable myself. my M'lady uses my reactions to adujust Her play accordingly. i have seen Her do similar when playing with others and it shows how much She attends to the one/s She plays with. i have seen others who play and don't seem to notice the body language of the bottom/sub.

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/21/2009 5:33:19 PM

Andalusite

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I like a wide range of reactions, but prefer them to be authentic/real, rather than contrived/playacting. I do want him to *react*, though - very stoic submissives or bottoms aren't as fun, IMHO.

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/21/2009 6:56:50 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Honest reactions are fine, for the most part. Not everyone is especially vocal, and that's okay with me, as long as they are reacting to me, and sharing some kind of interplay. If there are no reactions because he or she has retreated into his or her personal mindspace, then the enjoyment dissipates.

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/22/2009 4:03:44 AM

Vendaval

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The moans, whimpers, tears, flinching and shaking are all lovely to me. When they progress to loud screaming and cursing they either quiet down immediately or the gag goes in their mouth.

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/22/2009 7:06:07 AM

ShiftedJewel

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I agree with LH. I want honest reactions. I'm not really in to "screamers", the cynical part of me starts to wonder if it's legit or if they are just being overly dramatic? But flinching and the sudden drawing in of breath... that's more real to me.

Jewel

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/22/2009 8:28:26 AM

rubberpet

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I know Mistress is still getting used to my reactions. I'm not a very vocal person. I may flinch a bit or my entire body may tighten up if the pain is substantial enough. I usually drawn in a quick breath and growl, and depending on how much pain she inflicts determines how deep and rough my growl is. On the other hand, I tend to go into giggle fits if what she's doing feels good. While Mistress might not have many of my verbal cues to feed off of other than giggles and growls, she knows my body's reactions that that's what gets her going. She's told me that she loves watching my body tighten and my muscles flex and ripple as she tortures me. I've adapted to enduring more pain for her and she's adapted to my body language. Plus, I think she really likes to make me growl. LOL

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/22/2009 9:59:02 AM

LovingMistress45

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I don't like anything that is faked or overly dramatic. I enjoy natural reactions. Some subs are not very vocal and I am ok with that, body reactions can be very hot. I have also played with subs that try to supress their reactions and I can enjoy that as well. The only time I don't enjoy it is when I don't feel a connection or when it seems faked.

Like AAkasha I do find letting the sub know how turned on I am by what is going on helps to make a lasting impression.

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/22/2009 10:08:04 AM

TexasMaam

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I like to hear a sub moan, or cry, but I haven't found very many who do. Usually they flinch, quietly, or even NOT flinch, quietly, and it's very difficult to read them.

Over time one can learn a sub's response but navigating the quiet sub's response is a tough thing to do.

Which is why I subscribe to the school of 'play a little, talk a lot' when getting to know a sub.

One thing I do know is that I CAN make a sub cry out in pain. For that matter I can make a sub scream in pain.

I wouldn't want to take him to that point until I knew him very well and was absolutely certain that level of play would not harm him psychologically, spiritually or emotionally.

Until then I'll just have to keep learning how to read my stalwart, quiet sub.

; )

TM

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RE: Sub reactions - 2/23/2009 12:36:39 AM

MaamJay

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Give Me authentic reactions, the actual type (audible or visible) isn't the issue, it's just having some kind of reaction to what I am doing. When someone forces themself to be stoic and unreacting, it annoys Me and makes Me want to stop playing as I'm not getting any feedback. Two reactions to that, I can't tell if I'm going too hard or too soft ... and if it's having no effect, why am I wasting My time and energy?? However, I also get fed up with the "oooh ooh ow ow!" drama queen who squeals when I've barely brushed him with the flogger. Just be real!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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