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MMagic -> RE: New sub confused.... (3/13/2009 6:39:17 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leonidas
Welcome to the wild and wacky world of online mating rituals. Short and sweet? Ok. He had you start "journaling" to him to cut you from the herd and get you to stop talking to other dudes, then he forgot about you/got more interested in someone else. Want a longer version? Read on.
First thing for you to understand is that 90% of the membership of collarme is male. That's not unique to collarme, it's pretty consistant for any internet site where there are pictures of naked girls and/or the opportunity for / possiblity of sex. Since it's an environment where men vastly out-number women, the top priority for the men is to get noticed. This generally means spamming every female member who is even remotely of interest.
The second priority is to try to get you to stop paying attention to all of the other men that are trying to get noticed. This means moving a lot further a lot faster than would otherwise make any sense, for example telling you to put on your profile that you are "Under Consideration" after one mail back and forth or a few minutes of chat, or treating you as if you belong to them after a similarly small number of exchanges. They couldn't possibly know whether they actually want you after a conversation or two. It's all about cornering you until they can figure it out.
Long story short, in your earstwhile Dom's fishing expedition here on Collarme, he got unusually lucky, and got more than one bite at the same time. He kept the other one, and threw you back. Better luck next time.
I just had this happen to me in a similar but different way. I wasn't asked to DO anything like journal, but we did meet, great chemistry, great kisses all of that. Then 2 days after, no more texts, no more calls. Or if I did get them it was once a day instead of all day like it was the first 3 weeks. I use to get quick texts even when he was busy saying he was thinking of me. After our meeting he called immediately to ask how I felt about the meeting and said he was definitely interested in taking it further. So I actually emailed and flat out asked hey..you're not talking to me like you use to..if you're not interested or testing the waters to see if you're sure about me, let me know. I got a response back via IMs (the most he'd said to me in days btw) that said he was very interested, yes he talked to others but I was the only one he was interested in, felt like I was already his, blah blah blah and it goes on. Next day. Not even so much as a hello. I texted all day thinking something really awful must have happened and praying all was well with him. Finally after hours of silence he finally texts back to say he'll text me later, busy day. when he did text me it was talk to you tomorrow...I got up...nada other than a message on CM saying he wasn't sure why his profile says he had been on CM when he really wasn't (I'd checked there to see if at least he'd logged in and I could make sure he really was alive at least). Message was brief and no other text or messages from him other than when I said I'd gotten his message on CM, he reponded with ok and nothing else..the rest of the day.
I finally said enough is enough and texted him and said ok, I'm backing off, you obviously aren't as interested as you were. I thank you Leonidas for providing me what I suspect is the reason for this sudden departure from being so attentive, to barely saying a word to me all day. What I don't get is..I can't speak for everyone else here, but I'm brutally honest and I have no misconceptions about why we're all here. why I'm here. While I may not be into a one time, one night thing, why not just say, hey I was into this chic, I was horny, I went and hooked up with her, I know you want long term, let's continue talking to see if it works out, you keep talking to other people, I'll keep talking...let's just see. I have NO problem with that. So why do people lie or evade when I say hey I'm cool so long as I know the entire deal up front? I don't want any surprises, such as an angry sub walking up while we're out together saying hey you told me..blah or ME being that sub thinking we're one thing when we really aren't...Geesh, what a GREAT first experience I had. Sorry, I'm still venting, I'll be fine tomorrow...today I'm dumb founded and upset.
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