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KnightofMists -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/20/2006 8:49:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
quote:
ORIGINAL: Evanesce
But then the question becomes if you only choose to submit to those things you want, to what are you really submitting?[/color]
Unfortunately this train of thought quickly tends to lead people down the path of "It's only submitting if you DONT like it."
I agree, My girls submit to my will... My authority in the relationship. Sometimes what I want happens to be what they want other times not so much. The submission is towards My Authority! Now a Dominants Authority can be limited. You see this in negotiation and the establishment of limits. In M/s relationships there is the perception that limits to Authority do not exist. But, often even in these relationships they do exist. For Example, My girls both are required not to take any action that would harm their Well-Being, no matter if it was my instruction or not. This is a prime directive and the basis of our Power structure.
I see alot of individuals focus on the idea that submission is to be distasteful or hard. That is not always the case. In my thought process... the acts of Submission are three basic groupings.
Passionate - These are the actions/behaviors a submissive takes great personally enjoyment in doing them. If able to, a submissive would choose to do them often.
Indifference - These are the actions/behaviors a submissive takes that provide no measurable affect upon them, emotionally or otherwise. Sometimes these are just mindless habits.
Tolerate - These are the actions/behaviors a submissive takes mental and emotional effort to carry out. There is no emotional pleasure directly from the act/behavior. The only pleasure comes from the fulfillment gained in pleasing the Dominant in doing the act/behavior. These are often the very actions/behaviors that a submissive will not choose to do.
There needs to be a balance between the three. To many Acts of Tolerance can eventually lead to distress with the submissives emotional state. It is actually the Acts of Passion that balance this from happening. Now every person is different and even the individual will be in different states that would deteremine where the balance is.
However, the submission is to the authority of doing which acts and when! The good dominants seeks to maintain a balance... whatever the balance happens to be. Some will micro-manage othes are more macro in their approach. Take note, that submissives are either like to be micro-managed or macroly managed as well. So finding a compatiability in this regard is rather important to say the least!
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