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Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:21:09 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		Has any Master/Dominants insisted on a time of being vanilla in their relationship to see how much You really suit your sub in terms of individuals with compatible personalities?.  slaves/subs... has this ever happened to you?, how long did it last for? and right at the start or a little further into the relationship when perhaps they began to see you as a bit more long term?

thank Y/you
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:27:29 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Why would I do that, I live 24X7 D/s what would that tell me, that we could get along without the D/s? Without the D/s there is nothing for me in the relationship. This is full time, real time, real life not some game that I am playing at.

Mike

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:32:00 PM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		Good reply.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:36:02 PM   
Tinkerer


Posts: 136
Joined: 7/18/2008
Status: offline 		I think it's a good way to see how well you interact outside of a D/s setting. To see how well you get along as people, common interests, etc...

(in reply to masmiss)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:40:11 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		i know what You are saying, thank You and i appreciate Your comments.  i dont mean You should be doing this... but more it has happened to me and i am hoping it will be a temporary thing.  i could be wrong about the reasons it has happened to me... but i can see some sense in it even if its not up Your street... what when You are old and fragile and unable to dominate, dont You hope someone will be there to see You through the bad times?, would it not be better if Your slave who You usually Dominate was someone who You can tolerate and enjoy being in her natural company as another human being? xx

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:47:58 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		I will always be dominate until the day I die, it's something I am naturally. It does not get turned off and on at a flip of a switch or when I am not feeling well.

Mike

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 5:51:27 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		i agree with You there... submissive i will be too til the day i die.  i just hope if i have to see through a Man to the day they die i like them for more than their skills as a Master x

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:00:31 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		i guess i meant more like unable to dominate in the kink/play sense... of course You are still Dominant mentally... born that way & always be that way ill or not.  Just thinking that maybe a sub who only likes You as a Master and not a person... may be less likely to stick around for You when the going gets tough?

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:01:25 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

You are old and fragile and unable to dominate, dont You hope someone will be there to see You through the bad times?, would it not be better if Your slave who You usually Dominate was someone who You can tolerate and enjoy being in her natural company as another human being? xx


I am a human being, I am natural company... why would I be with someone who could not tolerate me?  And what does age have to do with the ability to be dominant or to dominate someone? 

Or are you talking about the inability to pick up a flogger and go at it for 30 minutes, for example?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:02:50 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

Just thinking that maybe a sub who only likes You as a Master and not a person... may be less likely to stick around for You when the going gets tough?


Okay, after this addition... why would a sub want to be with someone they did not like as a person?  Do YOU want to be with someone you don't like? 

I guess there's a kink I haven't thought of before.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:08:43 PM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		To me, D/s is not behind closed doors, or just munches.  It is encorporated in the vanilla world.  I feel if you are submissive or dominant,  it is a part of your natural life.  You are who you are... there is just different types of etiquette so to speak in whatever location or company you are with.  If I act a different way to my dominant that shows a different basis of my personality, then my submissiveness is not real.    

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:08:57 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		age has nothing to do with ability to Dom which is what i was trying to explain on my last post.... just trying to explain that IF a sub only likes her Dom for the passion/kink/thrill/physical side of the deal that might not be enough to keep her there for when the going gets tough.  i am not talking about me, nor anyone in particular... just saying that when the physical side of things die... IF they shoud... then there needs to be more there to glue you together.  The mental aspect should never die... doesnt  matter if handicapped, ill... or old?, fair enough?

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:10:38 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Starting to wonder if this is about some online thing and not real life where communication is a normal part of it as the op does not have a clue.

Mike

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:10:45 PM   
Caillin


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/4/2009
Status: offline 		I wonder if part of the concern is that a BDSM relationship tends to be more intense than vanilla. So there may not be the energy to "play" for a while. At the beginning, there is also the fear that the relationship will move too quickly and the sub (or Dom) will get very caught up and feel like there is love when there is just the intensity of the BDSM bond.

My Dom is always dominant. But there are times when we don't have that as a major part of our relationship. We still interact in a D/s way, but we don't do any pain play.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:15:29 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		CalifChick... you seem to be on my wave length... but cant see it !.  i would not not want to be with someone i could not tolerate as a person or vice versa... just like you wouldnt.   But, there are some people out there who ARE just after play partners/kink etc and nothing else.  Thats fair enough if thats all they want.... but its not likely to make you find that person who will share with you the good times and the bad

(in reply to subangi)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:23:23 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		are You talking about me doesnt have a clue?

(in reply to Caillin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 6:28:31 PM   
serisa


Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		where am i going wrong?. please and with respect i am here to learn and gladly hear others opinions

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being vanilla - 2/22/2009 9:42:22 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Has any Master/Dominants insisted on a time of being vanilla in their relationship to see how much You really suit your sub in terms of individuals with compatible personalities?


How would this vanilla give me information about somebody I don't get through BDSM? Apart from which, you speak of "compatible personalities". I haven't the faintest idea what that is, perhaps you can explain?

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being vanilla - 2/23/2009 1:31:21 AM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Not me.....I don't do 'nilla...... I'm allergic to it.

(in reply to serisa)
Profile   Post #: 19
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