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barelysubmissive -> RE: is it possible?subfrenzy?at first? (2/23/2009 9:42:46 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: feydeplume
I'd like to toss in that sub frenzy is often used to describe a state where a submissive has not had their needs met for some time and is starting to use risk taking behaviors to get those needs filled, like a masochist getting into an abusive relationship or a submissive taking on too much of the workload at work.
In my experience the frenzy comes only after you have had the experiences and then go without for so long that your internal balance gets out of whack, usually due to other stressors like grief, loss, big life change, or something that, well unbalances you.
Horny does not equal sub frenzy. Desperate does not equal sub frenzy. the giddy rush of being new to the world of kink does not equal sub frenzy. And frenzy, when it does happen, is something friends and loved ones can help manage since it isn't about finding a partner or sex, but putting balance back in your life and acting safely and dealing with whatever shit hit the fan.
Same goes for D/M/M's but they seem to KNOW that sex doesn't "fix" what is off balance in their head, probably because we all spend so much time telling them how they can only play when they are in balance and able and ready to be responsible for more than just themselves.
WOW! Thanks, I really needed to read this today! Last night I was a mess, and could recognize what was happeneing to me. I knew not to do anything stupid, but couldnt think through what I need. Its balance and grounding again.
I had been getting to know a local Dom, with phone calls, that I had first met on CM. I like to take it very slow, and didnt want to rush into a meeting, cause I tend to play early on, and then I get too connected too soon.
With weeks of long phone calls, with alot of teasing and listening to the deep "Dom" voice, I was so ready to meet him, so eager to finally be with him in person. Then when we were planning on meeting 2 weeks ago, he pulled the Disappearing Dom act. And since then I have felt all shakey, on the edge of a high cliff.
While Im now questioning whether I can ever start over, and trust again, (this not being my first sub go round with a Dom LOL) and I have changed my name to THIS one, last night I counted how many months and how many weeks and how many days it had been since I was last totally taken, totally "Dommed", totally submissive -- how long since I was taken so high and kept in that glorious state of orgasmic bliss -- how long since I gave this body to someone I called MY Dom -- how long since I spents hours sexually pleasing Him and feeling his hands on me -- how long since I felt that connected and that controlled and that safe and that grounded in who and what I thought I was.
After realizing how long and remembering what it used to feel like, and after remember how much on edge that recent local Dom kept me for weeks, I started to shake and cry and ache all over. I want to run away, but dont know where, cause this is all IN me, and I will take it with me no matter how far or how fast I run. And I wonder is this what being submissive will alwasy feel like???
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