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barelynangel -> RE: NEED ADVICE REGARDING NEW M/s relationship (2/24/2009 6:16:07 AM)
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quote:
when I go to live with him I will spend the first month locked in the basement
Umm okay, seems people are taking you never have met him and lumping it in with you will be moving in with him BEFORE you meet him. Umm you did say you were MEETING him this weekend. Many times when i speak to a Man i always gauge whether he will want someone living in or not so yeah, the when you come live with me is a phrase used many times before i meet a guy, it simply is an explanation of our understanding where we hope for this to go. I like to know if they want live in prior to putting time into them because i don't want to be a part time slave. I oft times speak of what they would expect WHEN i come live with them to help me guage what direction we are both heading in. So i am not shocked he said this to you.
Now if you are planning on moving in with him Monday after you meet him this weekend lol then see many of the posts above.
From what the OP has written it seems they are planning to meet, THIS WEEKEND IN FACT lol, it sounds like they are planning on getting to know each other with the EVENTUALITY of moving in together -- hence the WHEN... sounds like MANY MANY MANY of the already established relationships on this very board.
What he is suggesting and wanting is to me not incorrect and its not correct. Its simply how he sees his relationship with his slave playing out on a very GENERIC level. So you need all the rest filled in and defined for you and understood by YOU before you can really gauge the actuality of this succeeding, in my opinion. It all depends on what you are looking for and what he deems locked in the basement, and if its something you wish to be a part of your dynamic. Sure does it sound kinda squiggy, for me yes it wouldn't be something i would be able to do with a Man as the mastery of me and enslavement of me has to be more subtle than a lock turning in the door leaving me alone etc. Also the connotations of locked in the basement could mean all kinds of things and he states it for a month. As i said, it all depends on what you are looking for an what he is. FOR SOME PEOPLE, it may work and be completely fulfilling for you both. Don't let people who enjoy dramatizing everything someone says that is outside their scope of comfort lead you to decide not to explore something that MAY IN FACT be something you are looking for. You gave no details of what the locked in the basement would entail, what would occur and what safety aspects you would have outside of the idea you are locked away until he deems you fit to be a part of the home. It could very well be a fantasy of his, i would ask him things about it, if he has done it before -- ask to speak to those women to see what the experience was etc. To me, it reminds me of Men who are extreme and use cage training for their slaves for hours and hours on end.
If it interests you, talk to him, discuss it with him, do not agree to anything you are uncomfortable with and understand where each of you stand. Who knows, BDSM is a concept of shock value for many so you get these drama people who see something that they automatically have to put a negative, a WTF, and a are you nuts where is your common sense idea to it because its outside the scope of their comfort zone. You can USE common sense in this and be confined to a basement like my parents which is a fully functional basement that could be like an apartment, MOST homes i have lived in has a fully functional basement that could if need be with some additions be completely liveable in if necessary. I mean its not like he said he would lock you in the garage. This could simply mean you won't be allowed in parts of the house until he believes you earned it. Many Men don't allow their slaves on their bed or furniture until they earn it. So while different is simply another concept of same or people get locked in a cage. He could mean anything with this -- only you can decide where it goes and when you trust him enough to live as his slave within his demands. If not, then he won't be for you and you won't be for him. and that's okay too.
All in all, i would get more information from him, enjoy meeting the guy this weekend, take time to get to know him, visit with him often and then when the time comes for the "when" you move in with him, make sure you are comfortable with what he will demand of you. Don't let the automatic the guys a player, jerk or whatnots you receive on the boards like this dissuade you from getting to know and meeting a guy you seem to like a lot. Use your common sense and yeah he MAY BE a jerk or idiot, but find that out first by meeting him and getting to know him outside of the internet and influences of people who judge things they really have no clue about and before allowing people on a message board who seem to love overdramatizing things dissuade you from exploring something with someone you like, and end up trusting and feeling comfortable with because its outside THEIR comfort zone.
Hell, if i squigged out at just the CONCEPT of something and thought it was a NFW concept lol i would have never became a slave, and i think that kinda goes with a lot of people who explore different concepts of likes and dislikes in the many different lifestyles yiu encounter on this board. You find things you like and things you enjoy -- some for some are extreme while others may think not so much. For me being locked away is extreme, but i have a friend who it probably would not be.
Good luck, it sounds like you like this guy and are excited -- i hope it works out for you both.
angel
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