quote:

ORIGINAL: darkme

Hello, I’m new to this and in need of some advice. I met a Dom only a few months ago and am now in my first ever BDSM relationship. A lot of the time he’s very soft towards me as he says he likes me too much to be dominant to me, which just confuses me. He will stop play if he thinks I’m not in the right mood even though I’m fine (this happens quite a lot) does this sound normal? A lot of the time it is all very vanilla and this is not how I expected it to be!
I feel bad for asking this question, but is he really a Dom? I certainly know he has those desires, but he does give in to me far to easily. And I don’t mean that I misbehave, because I don’t tend to. However, I am really feeling the need to push him, which I know, is bad and it’s already happening, but I feel very frustrated at the moment. Maybe we are just not on the same wavelength, although he says I’m right for him, deep down I feel that he’s not totally right for me. And I don’t want him to do things just to suit me either; I want him to want to! (of course I will do things for him even if I’m not entirely happy with them, but that’s different). Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with him and we have great times together, but I don’t want to be with someone if we are not almost compatible (notice I said almost, as I don’t expect any relationship to be perfect!!). I gave up my longterm vanilla partner and best friend, because a big part of me was missing and even now I have a BDSM relationship, I still feel I’m not complete. Maybe I am expecting too much? I don’t know, as I haven’t had any other relationships of this type to compare it to.
Where is the problem here? me? him? Or maybe the relationship as a whole? I don’t know and sorry if the questions sound silly, but as I said at the beginning of my post, all this is new to me and I’m feeling rather lost.
Thank you for reading!!

~ Those whom seek completion in others
will never feel whole, because completion
is within thee ~

I wish you enough.


GoddezzT`