NorthernGent -> RE: "A note from your boss" (2/25/2009 1:56:47 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness To All My Valued Employees Thanks very much, boss, but am I really valued? Last Christmas my bonus consisted of a 'Merry Christmas' by e-mail.....sent by your secretary. I was moved to thank you in person; I was really pleased you'd noticed me. It sounds ridiculous coming from a grown man, I know, but you know we all like to be appreciated. Imagine my surprise when I thanked you and you replied: "who are you? and why are you breathing my oxygen?". quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country. You know what boss, I may be a lowly serf, but I have this theory that politicians are pretty much irrelevant in the modern era as they're the mere subjects of the big business kings; though I know I really shouldn't be challenging your opinions because as a business owner you're the authority on every subject from politics to cheese. quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests. Very kind of you, boss, but between you and I, you're coming across as a total wanker who thinks because he's the boss at work he is the boss outside of work. The moment you step outside of the office you're just another bloke. Any chance you can cut a long story short because this patronising show really isn't that interesting. quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life. You couldn't be further from the truth, boss. We were talking about this last week, and the general consenus was: there's far more to life than cars and houses. You're not that special. quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. Must have been tough eh. Your choice, mate. What? Do you think this adds credibility to your political views? In actual fact, I'm sat here wondering why a bloke, who in his own words had no life while he was building his business, is attempting to lecture me about the economy and politics. quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon Ah yes, just as I suspected: you really value your employees. Before I arrive at work, I've already done an hour's work, and when I leave I do an another hour. At weekends, I do a couple of hours, too. That's 12 hours work for which I don't get paid - you know, on the house. While I'm at work, I'm going hell for leather all day with the only break being an half an hour lunch break. You wouldn't know, though, because you're too busy making snap decisions about the work ethic of your employees and telling the world what a hero you are because you've built a business and made some sacrifices. I don't do the extra hours for you of course, boss, because you're a wanker; I do those for myself because I have drive, too. I want to learn. I have a family, too, and the best way for me to take care of them is to progress in my career. Come to think of it, you haven't sat down with me for two years to discuss my progression - perhaps you're busy telling anyone who'll listen what a hero you are. Oh, and if you think I'm doing nothing for three hours at work, then why don't you manage the situation, nobhead? Isn't it your job to get the best out of me? I mentioned this letter to my brother in law who's a business owner, too, and he was adamant that when he feels his employees aren't being productive, he manages the situation. quote:
ORIGINAL: Truthiness I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. Boss, you're boring. This is worse than a slow, painful death. I resign. P.S. I've set fire to all of the financial receipts for the year.
|
|
|
|