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RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 1/25/2006 10:23:27 AM

dixiestar69

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Supershovel83

Well heres what happen. i was out with my Dom last night, and i became rebelious and bad. As My Master was having a conversation, i was feeling neglected and lonley so i kicked at My Dom in the arm 3 times.. My Dom and i went to have a cig and told me i had done wrong.. i concured and submitted to my punishment. But by the time we got back i started to back track and became afraid of punishment. So i tried to point fingers and play the back and forth game. By the time my Dom and i got home the argument became quit intense. When i have had alot of alcohol my pride tends to step in and take over my common sense. i threw in my Doms face that He was a bad Dom, and then i further attacked a lifestyle and relationship i really love. i told Him, He was the reason that i was a whore and how much i hated that. i also sunk lower than that i told Him that i was better appriecated by my father and son. How do i make it up to my Master to secure him that it was only said out of anger and that He is my world. i'm very upset with my behavior and actions. How better i punish myself? please help.. i don't want to lose my Dom.. Writing this at my Masters request. Just trying to understand and improve.

Take this from someone who has been with someone who gets like that when they are drinking...most of the time someone who is buzzing or drunk tells their true feelings about things...they might be slightly exagerated but 9 times out of 10 they are true...you both need to sit down and talk about your outburst and really look deep inside yourself and see if you are truly happy with what is going on in your relationships....and possibly that when he wasn't paying much attention to you that maybe it has something to do along the lines of abandonment or abuse as a child that you haven't yet delt with in your life....take some time by yourself and really think and do some soul searching I promise you will find your answers....

(in reply to Supershovel83)

Post #: 21

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 1/25/2006 12:16:44 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

When i have had alot of alcohol my pride tends to step in and take over my common sense.

quote:

i threw in my Doms face that He was a bad Dom, and then i further attacked a lifestyle and relationship i really love. i told Him, He was the reason that i was a whore and how much i hated that. i also sunk lower than that i told Him that i was better appriecated by my father and son

Do you often behave this way when drunk? Did your pride step in and take control of your common sense? Of was it a false pride?

I suppose the latter, if your statement is true, regarding attacking that which you "really love."

I would like to invite you to look into your own past, at the times when these things have happened before ... is alcohol a common denominator?

i know for a fact that "hurting people hurt people" and i have spewed plenty of alcohol fueled "truth" at those that i loved. In reality, i had a problem handling that very powerful drug, and was in fact out of control. One of my favorite pastimes was to trash and get rid of anything and everything of any value in my life. That was always the people closest to me.

I can tell you this ... if you say "leave me alone" enough times ... eventually they will.

michael

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 22

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 1/25/2006 10:31:07 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

I have to say that I think this says alot about the training that you have received from your Dom. I am a firm believer that how a submissive acts in private and in public is a direct result of his/her training.

i see alot on here submissives whom have a problem and they come here to get support because they know they acted inappropriately but then are trampled on by alot of us on here. We tell them how immature and childish they behaved, that we would NEVER act that way in the presence of our Doms and hear Doms say things like "i'd dismiss her", "send Her to the corner and beat Her", "lock her up", "gag her"....blah blah blah

but i have never heard anyone state the above as MistressOfGa has stated. It seams that when people on here put in their 2 cents they never state that this could be a reflection on their Dom. i have always said in Management " There are no such things as bad employees, only bad managers" If you want a submissive to behave a certain way and they aren't doing so, then the Dom needs to step up to the plate and figure out what it is that is making them feel a certain way. You can't correct a problem until you know what is that is causing it. Simply saying "you'd be wearing a gag for a while on top of a good paddling and or corner time" might not quite do the trick. It goes deeper than that.

Just my 2 cents
-carolyn

edited to correct typos

< Message edited by nonuts4thshoney -- 1/25/2006 10:33:20 PM >

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 23

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 1/25/2006 10:38:51 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

ya know, that may probably be one of the reasons i'm suck a pain to be around, myself...no REAL training. (Ponders that thought)

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 24

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 1/30/2006 11:59:19 AM

Supershovel83

Posts: 25
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I felt compelled to thank the lot of you for your time and consideration in assisting my pet in her understanding. She was very embarrassed by her actions and only posted this story, with much hesitation, at my direction as part of her retraining exercise. We're fairly new to this lifestyle and have almost immediately embraced a 24/7 relationship. Don't get me wrong.... we've been together quite a while but it has been a hard road as she has always craved this and has always looked to me for guidance without really knowing what she wanted. She has often lashed out in frustration and has had many thoughtless moments w/o rational grace and dignity. As Vanilla I could never understand her needs and desires and found fault in her as I was always taught to search out a significant other of my own capacity. We are equals in our life together but I strive to see her blossom and love to experience her growth as a person. I've learned new levels of patience and loyalty and have found a new and invigorating person to share the journey of life with. Again, my thanks for your help. I'm certain in the future she'll be compelled to utilize the wisdom and knowledge offered here as she develops into the woman she was born to be.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 25

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 1/31/2006 5:11:07 AM

TslAveS

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/28/2006
From: sk
Status: offline

sister , this slave hopes that you and your Master are doing fine now. All the best to you and your Master and remember not to do the same thing again. A lot of apology and showing sincerity that you are sorry and this slave bets that you and your Master will be alright. But sister, you got to take your punishments whatever it takes because you know that it is only you who makes the mistakes not your Master, for your Master gives you care and security when you need it. So in return you might want to return the favour to Him , right?

anyway, wishing you luck!

TslAveS

_____________________________

Bonds of Love and collars of Steel,
Bonds of the Master and of need,
Bonds that this slave feels,
Bonds of thought and Bonds of deed.

Bonds of Love and collar of Steel.
Master to love, freedom revealed.

(in reply to dixiestar69)

Post #: 26

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 2:38:51 AM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

i hope things are better for you, i've been there with my Master more than once and it has been a major obsticle for us because of it, i wish you all the best

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to Supershovel83)

Post #: 27

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 3:22:32 AM

LadyNeets

Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't know if this would help but the first thing I'd do is say I'm sorry to all concerned and then I'd sit by Meself and thik of what I have done and was there any other way I could of gotten My Dom/ Master's attention instead of kicking Him.

I would also try and stay away from the alcohol as mach as I could or have 1 or two drinks and stick to soft drink for the rest of the day or eve . I would also make sure that there are other thing I could be doing to make Him proud eg making sure His drinks are full or He has munchies to eat or just be there if He needs you.

For you punishment you could write out " I must be more attentive to My Dom " and then ask Him to give you a punishment to fit the crime and once the punishment has been completed you just keep it stored away in your Mind and if you feel like your going to do the same thing once more just remember what punishment you recived the last time.

I would also let Him know on how you felt in the sitaution and see if there is anything you can do to get back in His favour but don't push it cause the more you push you could push Him futher away from you and I don't think you would want that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to leave a persanal message with your Dom's premission first to Me and I'll see if I can help in any other way.

Lady Neets

_____________________________

I am not a bitch I am the Bitch and to you I am Mistress Bitch

(in reply to Supershovel83)

Post #: 28

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 4:38:49 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TslAveS

sister , this slave hopes that you and your Master are doing fine now. All the best to you and your Master and remember not to do the same thing again. A lot of apology and showing sincerity that you are sorry and this slave bets that you and your Master will be alright. But sister, you got to take your punishments whatever it takes because you know that it is only you who makes the mistakes not your Master, for your Master gives you care and security when you need it. So in return you might want to return the favour to Him , right?

anyway, wishing you luck!

TslAveS

Masters don't make mistakes??

Sure they do, they just don't admit it

Seriously though, I question the view that a Dom is all knowing about everything and never makes a mistake. He is a human being after all not a demi god

(in reply to TslAveS)

Post #: 29

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 8:48:28 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

You're right, Rayne, most prefer not to have the 'demi' prefix added!

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 30

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 11:36:57 AM

dplayswell

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

You want attention and you don't know how to communicate that you need it. After you accept your punishment, consider setting up a system, maybe a code word or phase that means, "I really need your attention and focus." After you say it, you must trust him (and wait patiently) that he will give it to you. That way you don't feel so desperate. I set up things like this to work around issues with by Dom all the time.

d

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 31

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 11:42:06 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Masters don't make mistakes?? Sure they do, they just don't admit it Seriously though, I question the view that a Dom is all knowing about everything and never makes a mistake. He is a human being after all not a demi god

Same here

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 32

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/2/2006 12:23:33 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58
Masters don't make mistakes?? Sure they do, they just don't admit it Seriously though, I question the view that a Dom is all knowing about everything and never makes a mistake. He is a human being after all not a demi god

Of course we make mistakes, as you say we are only human. It is our responsibility to spot those mistakes and DO something about them. The buck stops with us. We can't be expected to get 100% of everything right 100% of the time, we can be expected to try to and to take responcibility for where we don't make it.

Well thats my view on it anyhow.

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 33

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/3/2006 6:36:23 AM

TslAveS

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/28/2006
From: sk
Status: offline

well for me, my Master dont. As a human, of course he does, but for our relationship.. he doesnt. Maybe you would oppose to this one.. but it is my point of view.. since i've put myself into a M/s relationship.. i got to put full trust on my Master.. where in any ways.. you're opions will be heard but frequently complied ( depending on the Master ). So for me, i believe that my Master is always right, even if i know that He isnt, still i will have the belief that He is right.. because im a devoted slave to Him.. that's all i got to believe in.

He is Master, and i'm slave
He commands, and i obey
He is to be pleased, and i to be pleasing

And why is this?

Because He is Master, and i'm slave

_____________________________

Bonds of Love and collars of Steel,
Bonds of the Master and of need,
Bonds that this slave feels,
Bonds of thought and Bonds of deed.

Bonds of Love and collar of Steel.
Master to love, freedom revealed.

(in reply to LadyNeets)

Post #: 34

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/3/2006 7:10:22 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

i have always said in Management " There are no such things as bad employees, only bad managers"

Nonuts4thshoney,
I have either been in management or owned my own business all of my adult life, so it is easy to apply it to the way I handle my own pup. If he did what supershovel83 did, in public or private, I would look within my own self to see what it is that I didnt teach him. I am not saying that all situations are like this, however. There are many people out here that have emotional/mental issues, and no amount of training on my part is going to make them not act out. My nephew has ATD and it took me a long time to understand why he couldnt just "calm down" or "act right" in school. I didn't understand that he cant just turn it on and off at will. So basically, this goes back to knowing your own submissive. If a Dom is aware of an emotional/mental problem then it will be alot easier to understand the "acting" out. I am NOT saying that supershovel83 has any emotional/mental conditions, I am just saying that in the absence of any, the Dom needs to think about retraining, because it could be what is needed, not corner time or spankings.

_____________________________

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 35

RE: Help Me!!!! I have been a bad submisive. - 2/3/2006 7:49:53 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Supershovel83

Well heres what happen. i was out with my Dom last night, and i became rebelious and bad. As My Master was having a conversation, i was feeling neglected and lonley so i kicked at My Dom in the arm 3 times.. My Dom and i went to have a cig and told me i had done wrong.. i concured and submitted to my punishment. But by the time we got back i started to back track and became afraid of punishment. So i tried to point fingers and play the back and forth game. By the time my Dom and i got home the argument became quit intense. When i have had alot of alcohol my pride tends to step in and take over my common sense. i threw in my Doms face that He was a bad Dom, and then i further attacked a lifestyle and relationship i really love. i told Him, He was the reason that i was a whore and how much i hated that. i also sunk lower than that i told Him that i was better appriecated by my father and son. How do i make it up to my Master to secure him that it was only said out of anger and that He is my world. i'm very upset with my behavior and actions. How better i punish myself? please help.. i don't want to lose my Dom.. Writing this at my Masters request. Just trying to understand and improve.

My answer will depend on your answer to the following question...

Do you have these issues when you are not partaking of any mood or mind altering substance?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to Supershovel83)

Post #: 36

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