Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship? (the d/s roles would still be obvious)

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship? (the d/s roles would still be obvious)

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[Poll]

Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship? (the d/s roles would still be obvious)

Yes, no problem at all

34% (16)

Yes, but it'd be difficult

39% (18)

I'd rather die!!!

26% (12)

Total Votes : 46

(last vote on : 3/2/2009 1:09:27 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship? (t... - 2/27/2009 3:07:48 PM

subtlebutterfly

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Just curious

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 3:23:22 PM

dreamerdreaming

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Nope. Uhn-uh. No way. Nyooope.

*shakes head vigorously*

No, no, NO!

Been there, done that.

Why bother living, if you can't be your authentic self?

My slaveboy and I have earned this chance.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 3:37:28 PM

LaTigresse

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Yes I can. It's more about the power dynamic for me. The other stuff is just the sprinkles.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 3:38:01 PM

HeavansKeeper

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Define BDSM play.

Does it include humiliation, orders, being shared, manhandling? I could do it without bondage, fire play, knife play, electrical play, breath play, spinal tapping, stretching, and other more distinct bdsm tasks. I couldn't hold up the power exchange in the relationship without sufficient opportunities to exert my power and simultaneously allow her to show her submissive. Without the "play" it's really just a 1950's housewife schema. (Which is a sort of BDSM play to many).

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:11:24 PM

catize

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Of course I can live with out it, I did so for many years. And I do so now for days or weeks at a time. I live, happily and well in the moment.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:11:59 PM

SirJ40

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It's not about ropes, knives, candles, restraints, or any of the "trappings" for Me.. our relationship doesn't require either of us to be "reminded" who's who.
I personally don't need to overtly display My control.. it's there, implicitly, all the time. The power exchange happened when I gave her a Collar- she maintains it within herself.
Our BDSM activities are the icing on the cake.. they're enjoyable, they're emotionally rewarding, they're a demonstrative way to experience our relationship.. but they're not what it's built on.
Our relationship is built on our feelings.. our activities may help us to temporarily focus or intensify those feelings, but they don't create them- however, ours is a "love" relationship as well as a D/s relationship- that perhaps changes things for us- without that, the D/s dynamic and the BDSM WOULD be the whole point.. so I'd say that it would be more important to people in those relationships.

< Message edited by SirJ40 -- 2/27/2009 4:14:12 PM >

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:15:55 PM

vagabonddom

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Sure I can live without it. I did it for years and it didn't kill me.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:16:03 PM

MidMichCowboy

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Does that mean I couldn't ravish her at will?

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:20:41 PM

YourhandMyAss

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I could but I'd be mighty unhappy, since being kinky is a part of who I am, not just what I do, so why would I want to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Just curious

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:51:01 PM

Knite064

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Theres enough vanilla kink ladies out there so yes :) but i would nt want to (just in case its a veiled threat

)

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 4:54:13 PM

Lockit

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Sure I can live without it and happily.. but why would I when I can have it? lol

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 5:08:20 PM

servantheart

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Just curious

Yes. I need a certain personality type to be happy, not the kinkiness that may go along with it.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 5:31:06 PM

dreamofthemoon

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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Just curious

Yes. I need a certain personality type to be happy, not the kinkiness that may go along with it.

What servantheart said goes for me, too. Yes.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 5:34:59 PM

MissLaura1973

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamofthemoon

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Just curious

Yes. I need a certain personality type to be happy, not the kinkiness that may go along with it.

What servantheart said goes for me, too. Yes.

Add me to the list as well - for me, the D/s is where I find fulfillment and joy; the play and kink aspects are very much secondary and, while pleasurable, they're far from essential for me to find a relationship healthy and rewarding.

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 5:37:58 PM

girlygurl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

Does that mean I couldn't ravish her at will?

Oh YOU tease M!

I said I could live without, but it would be a challenge. Now that I think of it, is fetishism included? If it is.... NO!

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 6:31:16 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Just curious

One of these days...when I marry my Owner....I'll be thrilled if she loves me enough to discipline me.

I'm fairly strong willed....

I just hope she loves me enough to occasionally say, as I walk through the door (or anytime)...."Honey....I've noticed some issues that we've discussed previously that you're not standing up to....drop your drawers, lean across the bed and be extremely quiet while I explain to you why that's simply unacceptable to me".

Few things (to me) would show love more effectively.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/27/2009 6:32:41 PM >

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 6:33:33 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

Does that mean I couldn't ravish her at will?

The question was about PLAYING, not wild barbarian encounters! Pay attention!

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 6:34:48 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Oh, and sure, I COULD live without playing... but even if my partner were incapacitated, I would just kick ass elsewhere! And find other ways to torture him...

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 6:40:31 PM

NormalOutside

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It's more about the relationship than the play, but I'd be unable to keep away from the "s" part for long. I do need to inflict some pain (biting, spanking, hair pulling, etc) fairly regularly or I get antsy. :p

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RE: Can you live without bdsm play in your relationship... - 2/27/2009 7:12:44 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

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Of course I could live in this relationship without the BDSM play, but it would be very very difficult for both of us. We sought each other out not only because he's a d & I'm an s, but very much because he's a sadist & I'm a masochist. So that's the part that our relationship is built on. There is more to it than that, but it's such an integral part of who we are that I can't imagine it any other way.

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