StrangerThan
Posts: 1515
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline
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Honesty can come across as mean sometimes, so I'll say up front that I'm not trying to be mean.
Your profile doesn't so much appeal to a person as it does an object. At least that's how it reads to me. Back when I "looked", finding someone was never that difficult. The recipe had no magic involved. I'd write a profile description that wasn't so much about BDSM or experience or anything else, but more so about me and try to do it in an interesting way. Lol. If you think of reading as floating down a lazy southern river, what you want is a smooth ride that gets you to the end without too many bumps and leaves you with a good feeling. That good feeling often translated itself into wanting more after potential play mates had read a few hundred "down on your knees bitch" types of profiles. Somewhere in there, usually towards the end, I'd segue into enough D/s language to let them know I wasn't just sitting behind a keyboard somewhere playing out Dom/sub fantasies.
Then I'd start searching out the same... mindset, I guess. What I wrote potential contacts followed the same type of roadmap as the profile. I'd just talk to them, answer their questions, ask a few of my own, but mostly just spend the time to get to know them. Some people might consider that too slow, but it was fairly successful. I can honestly say I never met a woman I wanted time with that I didn't get time with. Met some I didn't want playtime with, but even then some of those turned out to be decent friends. And when I looked... I'd get about one or two paragraphs deep into a profile like yours before I clicked off it. Why? Well, because it always seemed so locked into what must be, what had to happen, a formula rather than actually... liking someone, being somewhat compatible with them, and having an idea up front whether or not you're going to be able to tolerate their idiosyncracies.
Face it, words in this medium are your first impression. It's not the lake house you live in, the whips hanging in the armoire, the neat suit nor hot skirt hanging in the closet. ExKat said it perfectly when she took you from 100 random women down to one or two. If you do that, you have to appeal to that one or two, or your odds just dropped into the decimal range. The fact is that out of that initial 100, there's probably several who wouldn't just fit the bill, but actually be someone you'd enjoy and be someone you could walk down that path with, rather than someone who will be sitting at the destination waiting on you. If that last sentence didn't make sense, what it means is that you've identified a point along the road that is a destination in a sense. They must be this, must be that, must not only accept you but the fact that "He will instruct and guide and blah, blah, blah:"
That's eye-roll material because "He" will do absolutely nothing unless the person on the other end not only contacts you, finds some common ground with you, and can tolerate not just you, but the fact that the He in this equation has already decided he's going to be a guiding force in their life.
Yeah, right.
Want some advice? Be people first. Pretty much, a Dom/sub couple means there's a He involved and, in your case, He likes his pronouns capitalized. It pretty much means there's a submissive involved. Anyone seeing that will get that out of it without a whole shitload of words to tell them there's a he and a submissive. Be people and look for people, not pre-canned objects.
< Message edited by StrangerThan -- 3/1/2009 6:14:29 AM >
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