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Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 9:11:19 AM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		Okay, everyone thinks their family is weird on some level. Soooooo how weird are they?
We can vote on this and award a WIN, i think it'd be fun and maybe give a chance to realize, they could be worst...



mine?

Maternal Family- Self rightious survivalist. Headed by my grandfather, a retired USAF officer, they all live on the family land in a mountain coumpound style, complete with bomb shelter. They are waiting for the government to fall or armagedon, which ever comes first... suscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Mother Earth magazines.

Paternal Family- A loosely knit jumble of Mormans LDS, Wiccans, Pagans, techies, trekkies, polys, and cats.


e2a- lots of cats... i'd like to think the cats took responcibility for my upbringing.

< Message edited by FelineFae -- 2/28/2009 9:26:34 AM >

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 11:02:39 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Maternal great-grandmother (Mimi) : Born in 1901; lived through the Great Depression so she saved EVERYTHING from empty butter containers to egg shells to crush and work into her garden soil; lived to be 101.
 
Maternal great-grandmother (Mamaw): Also a Depression-era packrat.  One room was full of shoeboxes full of receipies clipped from magazines and newspapers and old photos, storage boxes of holiday decorations, empty mason jars, art projects done by all of the kids since my grandmother was a child...you name it, it was in there.  Also a huge practical joker who sent gifts to family members as reminders of funny family stories.  My cousin still gets the carcass of the dried locust that dive-bombed her when she was trying to sneak in after curfew as a teenager.  (She's in her 50s now.)
 
Maternal grandparents: King and Queen of Denial -- 20 years after I came out as bisexual and converted to paganism, it's still a phase.  I'll grow out of it any minute now.
 
Brother: 10-pound-belt-buckle-wearing, Rush-Limbaugh-loving, religious-home-schooling, thinks-intelligent-design-is-real-science-Fundamentalist-Xtian Hick From Hell
 
Mother/Stepfather: aging hippie bikers
 
Paternal family: Mostly unknown, but my paternal grandmother took a job driving a school bus just so she could try to kidnap me after the court denied her custody.  It was classic: "Get on the bus with me, I've got a candy bar for you and we'll go back to my house for milk and cookies."  Even in 2nd grade I wasn't that stupid.



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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 12:07:29 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Maternal grandmother- at 96 is still teaching a folk dance class weekly.  She left Poland at 13 because her deceased father came to her in a dream and told her she had to go. She lost the remainder of her family in the holocaust. She and my grandfather spent a lot of time at "vegetarian" hotels (read: naturalist) during the 30's and 40's. They were the first of their friends to get married (1932) and became the ipso facto sex therapists for their social set. Once told me "every generation thinks they invented sex".
 
Paternal grandmother- Begged her parents to let her go to high school, but was put on a train to NY City to get a job at 14. She stood on breadlines during the depression, taught herself how to read the financial pages, bought penny stocks and utilities and died quite comfortable. When my uncle was born, she was told to institutionalize him as he would never walk or talk. She didn't listen, got a job to get him therapy and became one of the earliest members of United Cerebral Palsy (my uncle went on to graduate as a CPA from City College.) When the family was doing all they could to discourage me from working and traveling for peace in Nicaragua in the 80's, she told me that if she were younger and in better health, she'd go with me!
 
My Parents- Pioneers in the Open Marriage Movement of the 70's. Before that- they were folkies- not quite hippies, but lots of folk festivals and camping. My siblings left home well before me, so in my teens, I got to be exposed to much more- I knew all their lovers- it was not always the most comfortable situations. And it's still a big family secret- the extended family is clueless, even though they spoke on panels and were once invited on the Phil Donahue show.
 
My Brother- a black-hat, ultra Orthodox Jew living in Jeruselem. WTF???? I still think this daily.
 
My oldest Sister- a nationally renown surgeon who is the most f-ed up person I ever met. I told Master before he was to meet her that what she needs is a good Dominant to control her. He told me I pegged it. She is tall, beautiful, thin and so incredibly insecure that she looks to every man she meets for attention.
 
My next Sister- Stay at home Mom and control freak. My sanest immediate family member.
 
Me- Bi-sexual owned submissive. Family rebel and fuck-up. The only one to hold my parents' and grandparents' left wing political ideals. Hmmm, from my siblings' POV, I'm the weird one!!

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 1:54:43 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Maternal Grandmother-Very tall, heavyset German woman. Very domineering and always right. Moved to the US after WW II. Ran her household with an iron fist and was abusive to her husband and children. She also was a bit of a nympho and had several side affairs one resulting in the birth of my Mother. First hubby divorced her and took the two children with him.

Maternal Grandfather-Tall and very thin Native American gentleman. Soft spoken, very easy going. Converted to christianity because my Grandmother told him too. Married my Grandmother and they had 10 children together. He suffered through my Grandmother's abusive behavior and her affairs on the side. Raised my mom as his own even though she was the result of an affair my Grandmother had.

Paternal Grandfather-A retired Panzer driver moved to the US from Germany after WWII. He was captured by the Russians during the war and kept in a Russian prisoner of war camp. He escaped on foot with a couple of his buddies and was recaptured in Poland, luckily for him he was turned over to the allies. He said hell was a Russian prison and Russians were Satan (His words not mine). Very abusive man who beat his wife and kids severly. He drank and worked only when he felt like it, otherwise he forced his wife and kids to work the farm he owned.

Paternal Grandmother-American, met my Grandfather after WWII. He was handsome and swept her off her feet. She was a sweet woman who always had a kind word and loved to laugh. Soon after marrying my Grandfather she became a solemn, depressed person who had to flee for her life several times during their marriage.

Mother-More mental issues then I can count. Portrays the 1950's housewife on the outside, but on the inside runs things HER way. Her philosophy is that men are here to work and make money and take care of women. If they become unable to do so they need to be replaced.

Father-Good natured man with the mind of an engineer. A carpenter who built many beautiful houses and furniture. He had a flair for growing flowers and had many beautiful flowerbeds around his home. He always had a good joke and would always help anyone who needed it.

Me- Dominant, open minded, lover of life and adventure. I refuse to live by anyone else's rules but my own. Disliked by my Mother and loved/adored by my Father.

~Lashra




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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 2:07:40 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I plead the 5th as telling the story of my family would cause Jerry Springer to come out of retirement from the tv show just to highlight my life.

It involves many Seriously Messed up people myself included and many stories that have been kept secert for MANY MANY YEARS.

Lets just say my family is full of little surprizes and the LAST people you want with you on a deserted island.

Steel

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 3:49:19 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		maybe you can be the judge then, Steel

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 5:10:52 PM   
PeterJay


Posts: 1220
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline 		I have taken the "oath" & am not permitted to go into any details of my family's past. 

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 5:41:00 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I come fromn crazies & drunks on both sides.  The ones who didn't drink were/are nuts.  The ones who married them, not so normal either.  My maternal grandparents both came from Norway around the turn of the last century & had 5 children.  They were very strong, hard-working people whose children are fairly high-functioning loonies.  Yes, that's a psych term!  They hoard so much stuff that they all have acres & acres of property to put all the junk on.  Near as I can figure, none of it's worth more than what the scrap folks will pay for it by the ton.  They're bigots who spend their days talking bad about each other & anybody else who doesn't do things eactly the way they think it should be done.  I love them all dearly & would fight anyone who ever threatened any of them. 

On my Dad's side, they're a little more colorful, because they tell much better stories about themselves.  There was the story of my great great grandmother who made her husband chase down a group of Indians who had attacked the farm & stolen her bonnet.  She made him go get the bonnet back.  It was in the newspaper, so it's gotta be true, right??  Until you read that the story was told to the reporter by her grandson, my grandfather, who was notorious for telling wonderful stories but not so worried about the complete veracity of them.  They were all drunks too.  Only one Uncle left on that side.  I adore him, always have.  He's a drunk too.

My sister is about to celebrate her 47th wedding anniversary this year & the last time she worked outside her home was in 1963.  She raised 3 beautiful children who now have babies of their own.  Our Mother wasn't so competent at the mothering thing since she was also a drunk, so when I was born, she kinda had my sister raise me.  Sharon was 2 1/2 at the time.  We think she did a pretty darn good job, considering.  Our Father beat my sister & adored me unconditionally. 

Me??  I've led a very very interesting life.  I was telling someone a story about people I knew & worked with when I was in my 20's & began to mistrust my memory, since it sounded so far-fetched.  I've been married 3 times, the last one having ended more than 30 years ago.  I gave birth to 2 children & managed to raise one who is a complete delight.  I was a drunk with depression & anxiety.  Poor daughter had a rough row to hoe to turn out so well.  My last husband's family is still mine & they call me "Auntie Mame" because I am their colorful relative.  I'm just looking forward to seeing what will happen next!!!!!

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 6:33:37 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Because I have been asked (Just cause you know the story and threatened to tell it yourself) I will give the best explanation I can give. Side Note This may be quite Long.

Great Grandma and Grandpa live in Florida and over time bought out all the properties and then eventually sold the property for a very pretty penny and moved to Alabama where Great Grandpa got sick and while spending all their money on in-home care without insurance they befriended a church community who in return paid all their bills for quite some time, all the while they were getting state assistance and pocketing it away. The words Conmen have been used to describe them for many a year. After Great Grandpa Died Great Grandma spent the next 20 years Praying for God to save her until the Mobile Alabama Flood which ruined her home and she simply walked away from it to this day no member of the family knows exactly what my Great Grandma did about the property but we do know she no longer owns the deed.

Grandma and Grandpa were an interesting story of infidelity and abuse. Grandpa was an old fashion man who live by my home my rule and had 42 KNOWN affairs on my Grandmother and when they divorced Grandma LOST IT. My Grandfather has since then had 3 or 4 failed marriages the exact number is not known because grandpa won’t talk about it and hasn’t really tried to be a part of the family since he left Grandma. My Grandmother after being left by my Grandfather married a man who was only 2 years older than my Mother, and whom my adoptive Father believes is my Biological Father. Grandpa and Grandma had 3 children all girls and my Grandmother was caught sleeping with the fiancé of the oldest one whom then left the family and did not speak to any member save my Grandfather for over a decade and a half.

The oldest aunt married and ran an apartment complex and “Found God” she was also the last to have children but the one who was going to do it right. When her children were born by this time she was speaking to my family again she made it a point to make it known that she was going to be a better mother than either of my aunts. Before they were born my Uncle tried to stop a thief who was robbing their apartment complex and was stabbed, the stabbing changed him quite a bit and the happy go lucky guy was never to return. Most recently their daughter has accused him of Molestation and then retracted and her reason was “Because I wanted to know what would happen” and has become quite the “loose” Girl their son went along with the lie because it was a “Game” that they were playing and even though they admitted that it never happened my Aunt never stopped accusing my uncle of Wrong doing and now they are divorced. She had only done basic baby sitting and although now has a degree has absolutely no work experience and has bee fired from her last 7 jobs.

The Youngest aunt, Married an abusive man who shortly after their divorce took his girlfriends children hostage with an AK-47 and has to be taken out by a SWAT Sniper. Her new husband although a nice guy is White Trash Red Neck and Racist. They also had three children all girls and although they are still married my aunt but be on Hormone Medication otherwise she tries to Kill him in his sleep (three separate situations) The Cousins are the ones who help me feel better about my own life (Which I promise not to leave out) The oldest cousin, decided that no matter what Dad thought about racial issues was silly and so she married an Illegal Mexican Immigrant and now except for the Blonde Hair Blue Eyes you would never know she wasn’t from the barrio. They have 2 BEAUTIFUL children and HATE MY GUTS! Her husband has been deported 13 times since they have been married (Which isn’t a legal marriage because he was here illegally at the time and used a false social to get the license however with the children it has been easier for him to stay except for the fact that he keeps committing crimes) The Middle Cousin again not caring much about how Dad felt about racial issues was caught taking on three black men in her bedroom and My Uncle was Arrested for what he did to them. She eventually got involved with a White guy and Man My Uncle could not have been happier, that is until he was arrested on Drug Charges and disappeared off the face of the planet then my cousin decided she wanted to have a child because she wanted someone who would love her unconditionally, and now in addition to taking care of my Oldest and Youngest Cousin my Aunt and Uncle now will also be taking care of her and her new child. The Youngest Cousin was most recently arrested for Solicitation because her new beau (Yeah also Black) decided he needed new rims for his car and thought she could help with that.

My Mother was married to the Man who she claims in my Biological Father but the story is kind of shady and now as I grow older and look more and more like my Grandmother last husband my Fathers (Adopted) theory sounds more accurate. My Mother met my adoptive Father when I was 2 and in the 11 years that they were married my mother had 2 known affairs and one resulted in the birth of my Brother. Mom tried to claim it was my Fathers he called BS as he had a Vasectomy from his first marriage. My Mother was unaware of that and then said that she had been raped. Now I won’t go into details on all of that but anyone who knew my mother thought that was odd because she kept the child and my mother is FAR from pro life. My mother had only my Brother and Me but has been pregnant nearly 7 times so I hope you get the picture I am painting. As for my I grew up in the Shadow of my Adoptive Fathers previous two children who in addition to disliking my mother HATED ME! Over time I developed into quite the drug addict and dicked off my school and did just about everything I could to drive my mother insane because I was tired of being under her thumb and eventually dropped out of highschool got my GED and moved away where I could further my budding Drug addiction. My Kid brother became a Pot Head and deals copious amounts of drugs from him apartment.

The odd thing is that when the Family gets together for Holidays, the image we have been taught to portray to the outside world would have everyone here calling me a Liar.

It’s just how we function.

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: Weirdest Family Ever - 2/28/2009 6:37:45 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I'll take the 5th since reality is often stranger than Gothic horror fiction.

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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