Anyone ever been in this situation before? (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 4:03:17 PM)

You have someone you're in love with....but it seems endlessly unproductive....hurtful....painful....she...in my case...(or he in yours) seems to be in an entirely different place...not in love....in like.....yet, you have 1 (or more) others that are in love with you....but the fire's not there for those....you want "the one"....the others aren't "standby's"...you've been honest....but it pains you to hold out...it feels like, through no intent on your part....you're hurting the others as much as you've been hurt...when you could have others that would treat you well...and you just want to have unbridled passion.

But there is none between you and the one you love....yet, the promise of those who want you is very real.

I'm rambling....guess I just wanted to spew.

I probably just made myself look foolish....don't answer.



cjan -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 4:20:30 PM)

Been there, done that...

Doobies :
http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/music/watch/v298740gCcQ4mX8





LookieNoNookie -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 4:38:57 PM)


It's painful.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:09:39 PM)

I have no glib or smartass response---only to say---gees I don't even know what to say----been there, but don't have any advice--just virtual hugs



Vendaval -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:16:03 PM)

Don't let one person hold your heart and chance at happiness hostage.  Take back control of your life and nourish the relationships where you are valued and wanted.



sheyearns -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:26:46 PM)

You eventually have to decide if you can honestly settle for what your being given without cheating yourself and what your worth.  If you can honestly look yourself in the mirror and say, "Hey I'm happy with the way things are and wouldn't change a thing." Then i'd say well, your where you need to be.  Passion is great and never forgotten once you have a taste of it BUT passion does not make a lasting relationship because it eventually burns down to embers that have to be nurtoured and flamed.  i wish you the best of luck in everything.
tina



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:40:22 PM)


Thanks to everyone for their comments....I guess I'm just not having a great day with this whole thing.

I'm not exactly a "poor me" kind of guy...pretty much always up....but this just has me down a bit.

Thanks for the comments.



SteelofUtah -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:47:20 PM)

This is where people get upset with me.

I value myself too much to continue on something like this. If this person you WANT does not see the value in YOU then why are you continuing to involve yourself in such a way?

If you are not worth their time then why are they worth yours? Is their time WORTH more than your? Perhaps there are such masochists who will use their heart in such a way I am not one of them.

I would push on to those who wish to be worth your time and find out if any of them are. I am not saying settle I would never say that, what I am saying is stop letting someone fuck with your heart and stop being your very own sadist. Find worth is yourself that they do not find in you and then set off for someone who values you as much as you wish to be valued.

Remember also that this road goes two ways.

Steel



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:49:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan
Doobies :
http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/music/watch/v298740gCcQ4mX8


(Ouch).



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 6:56:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

This is where people get upset with me.

I value myself too much to continue on something like this. If this person you WANT does not see the value in YOU then why are you continuing to involve yourself in such a way?

If you are not worth their time then why are they worth yours? Is their time WORTH more than your? Perhaps there are such masochists who will use their heart in such a way I am not one of them.

I would push on to those who wish to be worth your time and find out if any of them are. I am not saying settle I would never say that, what I am saying is stop letting someone fuck with your heart and stop being your very own sadist. Find worth is yourself that they do not find in you and then set off for someone who values you as much as you wish to be valued.

Remember also that this road goes two ways.

Steel


I didn't say she doesn't see my value...or that she doesn't value me....just that she doesn't have the same passion I have...different personalities.

I guess that's part of the beauty of the whole world....everyone see's something different....

I was just hoping she'd see the same thing in me as I saw in her....doesn't always work that way I guess.

(Good advice though....appreciated).





catize -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:00:32 PM)

WARNING:  Arm chair psychology ahead!
Some people only want what they can’t have.  If they get what they want, they lose interest. 



LadyTeazer -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:05:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

You have someone you're in love with....but it seems endlessly unproductive....hurtful....painful....she...in my case...(or he in yours) seems to be in an entirely different place...not in love....in like.....yet, you have 1 (or more) others that are in love with you....but the fire's not there for those....you want "the one"....the others aren't "standby's"...you've been honest....but it pains you to hold out...it feels like, through no intent on your part....you're hurting the others as much as you've been hurt...when you could have others that would treat you well...and you just want to have unbridled passion.

But there is none between you and the one you love....yet, the promise of those who want you is very real.

I'm rambling....guess I just wanted to spew.

I probably just made myself look foolish....don't answer.



I do not see where you have done anything to make yourself look foolish.

Relax.   Close your eyes.  Slowly take in a deep breath....hold it....now slowly let it out.

It is clear you are in pain, confused, and trying to decide what to do. 

The only advice I can give you is to "know thyself", and do what is best for *you*.  you are a man, who happens to be a sub.  That does not mean that you suddenly have no wants or needs of your own.  you do.  you realize that they are not being met, and that is making you feel pain, and unfulfilled in your current situation.  I suspect you already know what is the best thing for you to do, but you don't want to do it, or even acknowledge it.  You deserve to be happy, and the situation you are in just isn't working for you. 

The one you love does not return your feelings.  Yet one who does/might love you, you do not feel the same towards.  (which probably makes you feel guilty in some way, on top of everything else.)  Tough position.

There is nothing wrong with wanting unbridled passion.  I had it.  I miss it.  And I want it again, DAMMIT!!   But as has been said, the passion will cool eventually.  It takes both people involved to fan the smoldering embers, and make that passion burn bright again.  And again.  And again...

The decision you must make is certainly not an easy one.  I wish you the wisdom to know what the right thing is to do for yourself.  And I wish you the courage to do it. 



SteelofUtah -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:05:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

I didn't say she doesn't see my value...or that she doesn't value me....just that she doesn't have the same passion I have...different personalities.

I guess that's part of the beauty of the whole world....everyone see's something different....

I was just hoping she'd see the same thing in me as I saw in her....doesn't always work that way I guess.

(Good advice though....appreciated).


What I meant was that she does not see you as a viable option for a partner or mate. I mean you can be great friends, but apparently at this point wanting her is hurting you and she doesn't return that desire.

When I say Worth and Value I mean as a MATE not as a person. If she cannot see you as a Lover and a Partner and you are feeling hurt because of this I would suggest that you accept your own worth and offer it to someone who DOES see it.

This girl isn't it, not right now and maybe not ever, maybe after a few years you could wear her down, personally however if wanting her and not being wanted back is hurting I value myself more than that and I could not do it.

Steel



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:07:33 PM)

(Gawwwwd there's some very decent people on here!!!!!!)

Going to bed....don't want to deal with this shit today.



Racquelle -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:07:47 PM)

You are responsible for your own happiness.  People your life with those who have earned their place, as much as you can.



Kirata -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:13:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

You have someone you're in love with....but it seems endlessly unproductive....hurtful....painful....she...in my case...(or he in yours) seems to be in an entirely different place...not in love....

Unh, have you told her that you love her?
 
K.
 



ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:14:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


Thanks to everyone for their comments....I guess I'm just not having a great day with this whole thing.

I'm not exactly a "poor me" kind of guy...pretty much always up....but this just has me down a bit.


You're human. A loving, feeling human being. And sometimes, that just hurts like hell. And when it does, there's nothing to do but let it run you over, and do whatever it's going to do to you.

Unlike the others, I don't have any advice to share with you, because I'm not in the best place myself right now. All I can think of to say is that I feel for you, and I'm sending good thoughts and positive energy your way. You're a good man, and I hope this comes to the best possible resolution for you and everyone involved as soon as possible. Hang in there, bro. It may not feel like it, but it will pass. And every day you have to endure it brings you one day closer to the day it stops hurting.



slaveluci -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 7:57:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
Don't let one person hold your heart and chance at happiness hostage.  Take back control of your life and nourish the relationships where you are valued and wanted.

Wow.  Wise and beautiful advice, Vendaval.  Thanks for that[:)]....................luci



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 8:01:13 PM)

I just ended something because I deserve more love. But it was good and fun in so many ways but it wasnt progressing. I cant say I am happy right  now. I hope my decision proves to be the right one.



KatyLied -> RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? (2/28/2009 8:08:55 PM)

Meh, life can be complicated.  And the more people you are juggling the worse it can be (evidently).



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