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RE: Where are... all others? - 3/1/2009 5:18:59 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkwind

Not all of us are here to talk about sex, or at least copulation.

True, there's fornication as well.

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Post #: 21

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/1/2009 5:45:29 PM

Zechriel

Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

Good evening!
Well of all places to meet my wonderful sweet Daddy was actually on the "other meat market site" online. Suprisingly, I found out that Daddy was more than that, as we started talking we noticed that we finished the others' sentences, and laughed at the same time. That did it for me, forget sex, I would rather have the connection. And come to find out that since Daddy has ED, it cannot be about sex, ::giggles:: So after a year of being together, of being owned and loved, I love him more than anything and I hope he never lets me go. And if we never have sex ever...fine by me. I guess you just have to keep looking and really take your time to see thru the bull. Cause for alot of Doms to say it is more than sex...few rarely prove it, at least that is what I have found. Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel

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Post #: 22

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/1/2009 7:44:39 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

For us BDSM is much more mental then physical. it is our love and commomt interestes tht tie us together. Of course i was looking for someone to serve in all ways. So having great sex is a wonderful perk.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 23

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/1/2009 7:55:46 PM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It's their right to talk about sex forever if they wish. It's your right to end the conversation at any time.

But that's so..........simple. There MUST be a more difficult way!

hahahah :)

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Post #: 24

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/1/2009 8:25:40 PM

Coldwarrior57

Posts: 297
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

A lot of people who come to sites like this are looking for easy sex. That is their main goal. It's kind of like panning for gold - you have to get rid of a lot of extraneous dirt to find the beautiful nuggets.

Roger that !

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Post #: 25

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/2/2009 4:15:07 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

before joining, i've chatted with guys who use BDSM terms/activities as a way to pick up women via IMs.

after joining, there was no difference. i would get messages from men and women looking for playtime without any connection. tell them, "no thanks", they either whine, beg or bitch at you.

there are dominants out there who want a connection or friendship before crossing over to the kinky side with you. you merely need to have patience while search for that person who's compatible to you.

good luck

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RE: Where are... all others? - 3/2/2009 4:32:28 AM

MARAA

Posts: 38
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline

I mean.. fuck can everybody more or less.. and suppose swing a whip too.. then youre sort of left with..the rest.. because in my eyes what do you have when the first glow is gone? Can this be the reason so many relationships crash?

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Post #: 27

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/2/2009 7:22:24 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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You could always tell them right away that you are celibate and they will NEVER get sex.........see what you get then.

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Post #: 28

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/2/2009 7:59:21 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Hehe - i like the celibate line! Think it would get rid of wankers really quickly.

For myself - My service to my Sir is sexual, but with his illness we haven't played in the dungeon in a while. And am i going to up stakes, take my china hutch and fabric and run? Hell no! Our life and relationship is so much more than sex and beatings. And if my service to my Sir means i take care of him til the end of days, then so be it. That is what i signed on for, and that is what i shall do. and i might say, with a joyful heart - because it means the two of us are still together. And even when he feels shitty, we still have the quality of time together that i appreciate.

Of course, its a lot more fun to talk about sex and beatings than Sirs chemo and blood counts, so think on that for a minute. There isn't anything wrong with a little escapism online - just fun.

. Of course, i realise that people looking for a "true and serious" relationship can get miffed with that - sorry.

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Post #: 29

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/2/2009 1:04:09 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

as others mentioned a lot of guys come here trolling for cyber sex or just want casual sex..it is your job to sort through..if you realize that their main focus in chatting is sex than you know they aren't compatible ... end the conversation as quickly as possible and move on..in your profile you state that you have years of experience so none of this should be a surprise to you

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RE: Where are... all others? - 3/3/2009 7:37:24 AM

clearlightblack

Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline

Personally, I've used the celibacy line.....but it is the truth....for now and....i found they always tried harder to push sex on me...sometimes to the point i'd like to push people down stairs....

So to keep my sanity......and keep blood stains from my cream carpet.....I say "No. Stop," and then I press block.

Personally, I have faith that there is someone out there.....I read the forums and talk to the many friends I've found here and elsewhere and it will get better. Just have faith.....you will find he/she Whom you seek.

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Post #: 31

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/3/2009 4:51:06 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MARAA

I mean.. fuck can everybody more or less.. and suppose swing a whip too.. then youre sort of left with..the rest.. because in my eyes what do you have when the first glow is gone? Can this be the reason so many relationships crash?

This is a problem that isn't a BDSM or lifestyle issue. Couples from all walks of life have trouble once the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship is over.

Personally, I think expecting things to be earth-shattering and mind-blowing all the time is part of the problem. I love him. It's a simple but powerful statement that doesn't take my breath away.

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Post #: 32

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/5/2009 5:36:15 PM

greeneyedcat

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

My Dom and I knew each other 3 months real time before there was any sex, so it is possible to build a relationship before jumping into bed with someone. In the meantime we spent countless hours getting to know each other.

Thanks for saying this. I just hope a lot of "doms" on here read this (not that it will make much difference in the way they are) and I especially hope some of the ones I have encountered read this. So many times i was told i was not a sub because i didn't jump into bed with them after one meeting or strip naked at their command (after one meeting) To paraphrase Dark Steven, they had the right to ask, I had the right to say no.

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Post #: 33

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/6/2009 3:32:23 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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I almost never even discuss sex until I have been talking with someone for a while.
I am far more concerned with things like who they are, what they like, what her value system is.

Sex is great, my favorite thing in the world, but ya know what...
I better have something more in common with her than just a mutual desire to fornicate or I am going to be stuck with lots of empty hours in my day.

For me, and this is just for me, BDSM is a very sexual activity, steeped in the erotic
But it's not about sex
Its about power
Control
Her surrendering her will to me
Ceding herself to my twisted desires.
Willingly
The sexual aspect flows from that, but is not of it.
Truth,
I have had slaves for over a year and never had sex with them once.
A few others I have rarely had sex with them, despite the fact they have begged for it.
It's a great power tool, and if leveraged properly, can be an incredible thing.
And trust me, it can drive people crazy, Especially coming from a male to a female
When they have been used to having all guys want in to her pants
and suddenly the man she craves
says no.
It's on my terms or else not at all.
What a delectable way to torment someone.
Talk about wonderful mental, physical and emotive D/S.

And this is just me but...
I am a decent looking guy.
Without being overly presumptuous and sounding like an egotistical prick, but I can have sex pretty much when I want
and have wandered around the kink community for long enough that I can find kinky sex too.
But that's not what I am about
It's about that connection between two souls.
And yes, I know that places me in a majority here.

Here is my question:
If all he wants to do is have sex and you control that...Who really controls the relationship?
If I don't have the self discipline to let the big head rule the little head, what the hell am I doing calling myself a master?

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Post #: 34

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/6/2009 6:26:33 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

People are people. Dom, sub, what ever. People like sex and it is what draws many people to connect to another. So yeah.. you might get some sex talk. Just like regular life. I haven't dated a whole lot of men who were not interested in me in some way. Yes I have gone out with friends who were men, but not on a "date", more on a spur of the moment I have no one else to go with, sort of thing. A date.. usually wants me. Sex is a very human desire (and all ofter animal desire too).
But just wanting me does not equal having me. <g> It's just a nice perk to know that they do. I don't do instant.

It was your sentence below which brought up bile to my the back of my throat.
DS is not perfection simply because it is ds.
ALL relationships take work. And getting to that endless, spiritual, breathtaking part may or may not happen. But it certainly does not happen just because someone calls themselves by these labels.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: MARAA
Where are the endless,spiritual, breathtaking meeting between a Dom/Mistress and their subs?

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 3/6/2009 6:29:57 AM >

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Post #: 35

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/6/2009 6:48:24 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

My rule of thumb is that if there dick is bigger than there brain, you cant expect any more than a quickie.

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Post #: 36

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/6/2009 4:45:31 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I almost never even discuss sex until I have been talking with someone for a while.
I am far more concerned with things like who they are, what they like, what her value system is.

Sex is great, my favorite thing in the world, but ya know what...
I better have something more in common with her than just a mutual desire to fornicate or I am going to be stuck with lots of empty hours in my day.

For me, and this is just for me, BDSM is a very sexual activity, steeped in the erotic
But it's not about sex
Its about power
Control
Her surrendering her will to me
Ceding herself to my twisted desires.
Willingly
The sexual aspect flows from that, but is not of it.
Truth,
I have had slaves for over a year and never had sex with them once.
A few others I have rarely had sex with them, despite the fact they have begged for it.
It's a great power tool, and if leveraged properly, can be an incredible thing.
And trust me, it can drive people crazy, Especially coming from a male to a female
When they have been used to having all guys want in to her pants
and suddenly the man she craves
says no.
It's on my terms or else not at all.
What a delectable way to torment someone.
Talk about wonderful mental, physical and emotive D/S.

And this is just me but...
I am a decent looking guy.
Without being overly presumptuous and sounding like an egotistical prick, but I can have sex pretty much when I want
and have wandered around the kink community for long enough that I can find kinky sex too.
But that's not what I am about
It's about that connection between two souls.
And yes, I know that places me in a majority here.

Here is my question:
If all he wants to do is have sex and you control that...Who really controls the relationship?
If I don't have the self discipline to let the big head rule the little head, what the hell am I doing calling myself a master?

Oh, my! If I hadn't seen it was your profile, I would have sworn my Master wrote this!

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Post #: 37

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/6/2009 4:52:02 PM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

Kana does sort of rock doesn't he?

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Post #: 38

RE: Where are... all others? - 3/6/2009 4:53:31 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I almost never even discuss sex until I have been talking with someone for a while.
I am far more concerned with things like who they are, what they like, what her value system is.

Sex is great, my favorite thing in the world, but ya know what...
I better have something more in common with her than just a mutual desire to fornicate or I am going to be stuck with lots of empty hours in my day.

For me, and this is just for me, BDSM is a very sexual activity, steeped in the erotic
But it's not about sex
Its about power
Control
Her surrendering her will to me
Ceding herself to my twisted desires.
Willingly
The sexual aspect flows from that, but is not of it.
Truth,
I have had slaves for over a year and never had sex with them once.
A few others I have rarely had sex with them, despite the fact they have begged for it.
It's a great power tool, and if leveraged properly, can be an incredible thing.
And trust me, it can drive people crazy, Especially coming from a male to a female
When they have been used to having all guys want in to her pants
and suddenly the man she craves
says no.
It's on my terms or else not at all.
What a delectable way to torment someone.
Talk about wonderful mental, physical and emotive D/S.

And this is just me but...
I am a decent looking guy.
Without being overly presumptuous and sounding like an egotistical prick, but I can have sex pretty much when I want
and have wandered around the kink community for long enough that I can find kinky sex too.
But that's not what I am about
It's about that connection between two souls.
And yes, I know that places me in a majority here.

Here is my question:
If all he wants to do is have sex and you control that...Who really controls the relationship?
If I don't have the self discipline to let the big head rule the little head, what the hell am I doing calling myself a master?

Oh, my! If I hadn't seen it was your profile, I would have sworn my Master wrote this!