RE: When We All Fall Down

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sparkyRBF -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/5/2009 7:58:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet My question is.... how do you help your partner when he/she has fallen down and can't seem to get back up? How do you comfort and correct mistakes or accidents that occur? lovingpet Somewhere in the first year of Master and i's relationship we were planning a trip to Master's fathers house. I think it was for Thanksgiving or some holiday around then. This was to be my first meeting of one of Master's family and I was very nervous. Nothing i seemed to do that day was right. We were running late from my mishaps and i realized the pants i wanted my son to wear were in the washing machine. Master suggested putting them in the oven to dry them quicker. Well, in my infinite wisdom at 24 years old i knew the microwave was much faster than the oven, and 10 min in the oven would be the same as 3 min in the microwave. So i tossed jr's pants in the microwave and set it for 3 minutes and went to finish getting ready. about two minutes later i smelled smoke and saw it comming from the kitchen. About this time i hear Master yelling "what the fuck?!" I rush into the kitchen, smoke billowing out of the microwave, i hit the open button and as soon as the oxygen hit the pants, POOF! they burst into flames. I grab the pants. what to do! what to do?! and hear Master yelling "get them out of the house!" so i rush out the back door and threw them into the back yard, take a step back and fell through the rotten porch floor up to my hips. Master is looking down at me and asks "what the fuck are you doing?" like i planned it. He takes a step towards me to get me out of the floor and wham! down he goes.. now we are fighting screaming mad at eachother stuck in the porch floor about two feet from eachother. When the reality of our posistions strikes us we can't do anything but laugh..and realize.. when you don't think it can get any worse, it does. We learn to count our blessings, realize how bad it can be, learn from our mistakes and be happy with what we have. Now, of course, that is one of my favorite memories and its another thing that has bonded Master and i closer together, realizing that when things get bad, we are both going to stick through it and not run off. And there isn't anyone i'd rather be stuck in the porch floor with than Master. Best of luck to you

lovingpet -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/5/2009 8:45:34 AM)
Oh my goodness! You have me laughing soooo hard right now!!!! Things are all better and never actually got bad except my highly unexpected moment that morning. I have lots of stuff that just take me take me for a ski trip down a molehill sometimes and not a thing I can do about it. Fortunately, he finds it cute! [:)] LadyPact cmail in a bit hon! lovingpet

MaamJay -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/6/2009 1:34:47 AM)
Well nothing can beat sparky's story! Awesome! And since you're still together, I guess the eventual meeting with the family still went ok. Master and i are in this together, and generally when one is weak the other is strong. Last weekend when We were away to play some gigs, one of Our dogs died totally unexpectedly from a stroke. A massive shock, for Us and the pet sitter. When the news came through, Master broke down first, just sobbed and sobbed, tears just streaming from His eyes. We used up all the tissues in the box! i found myself comforting Him, talking to the vet and then phoning to organise a pet cremation. As We've now sold Our house and are in the process of buying Our 5th wheeler to set off around Australia, We couldn't really bury him here. i found the inner strength then to deal with all of that. But when We got home 2 days later to find just Our little girl dog and the 20 yo cat (We'd really NOT have been surprised if it had been the cat!!), i was the one who broke down. Teddy Bear had such a big presence, moreso than his little sister, and he was always so happy and full of life, whereas she can get a little moody. While We have shed more tears together this week, Master was strong for me when We first got home and i lost it. That's how it is for Us, whoever's the most capable at the time steps up to the mark. And We laugh every day ... even in these times of sadness, We have found things to laugh at. Master reckons Ted's already up there pawing the tits on the angels ... when he reared up on his hind legs when i was sitting down, he always pawed mine LOL! Typical boy i guess. In this case, neither of Us screwed up, something else hit Us out of left field. But it's the same pattern either way, We share the rawest of emotions, We find some way to laugh ... We move on. We grow together. We love each other even more. So hang in there lovingpet, in the great grand scheme of things, it wasn't SO bad ... and your Dom sounds like a treasure! Make Him your treasure. violet[A] aka Maam Jay [;)]

lovingpet -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/6/2009 7:26:26 AM)
So sorry to hear about the death in the family MaamJay. I had to put down a pet just a couple of months ago. I know how hard it can be. (hugs) He is the best! And I make sure to tell him so and brag on him often! lovingpet

sparkyRBF -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/7/2009 4:18:55 AM)
LOL, yes, things worked out with his family. I love his mother more than my own. His father, not so much. But fortunatly they are divorced. I later realized Master did NOT like going to his fathers so everytime we were suppose to go over there he would get all grumpy and nit picky. Later, i helped him realize he was doing this and he stopped. But yes, we have been together 15 years. It just doesn't seem that long. He is the best (and longest) one night stand i've never had. The death of a pet is heartbreaking. I lost my yellow lab of 15 years about two years ago. I try to be grateful i had that long with her, but sometimes when i think about it i still cry, like now. Or when i hear of other peoples loss i think of her. I am so sorry for your loss. but thank you for sharing that. through those raw emotions and hard times i think is when the bond is strenthened between the people involved in the relationship. best wishes. sparkyRBF

MarsBonfire -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/7/2009 6:31:40 AM)
To the OP: It's odd... the more people seem to obsess over "everything going perfectly" the more likely that things end up going all wonky... And when they go wonky, it just leads to more stress. Vicious circle. It's an example of what the taoists call "losing track of the way." So, in the future, don't be so perfection oriented. Just concentrate on having a good time. Focus also on some of the things that went right: You have someone in your life that is willing to share an experience like going to a fetish club, with you. You had the courage to try attending one. (You have no idea how many people don't, or who I've seen spin on their heels and run for it in the parking lot.) You now know what to expect, and you won't be so "higgledy boo" the next time you attend one. Oh, and when you DO attened the next one... casually ask some of the others there what some of thier first attandance experiences were like... I'm willing to bet money on the fact you'll hear some stories that make your experience seem terribly average. :)

CreativeDominant -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/7/2009 7:56:29 AM)
I remember the first time my first submissive came to visit me. I had her wear a skirt to dinner and during dinner, I leaned over and told her to take her panties off at the table as she'd told me she would. Welllllllll...she started taking them down and then they twisted/got hung up on her stocking tops and all of a sudden, this gracefully stealthy woman was blushing about 10 shades of red. I leaned over and asked her what was wrong and when she told me, it was all I could do to not bust out laughing. I held it all in except for some chuckling. This only added to her discomfiture but at the same time, I reached over under the table and helped her untangle her panties. She bit her lip and was pretty quiet through the rest of the meal. When we got outside, she slipped going down the stairs even though I had my arm entwined in hers since she was wearing high heels. I kept her from going all the way down and she burst into tears. I just pul led her close and let her cry and kept my mouth shut as she went on about how she'd ruined our sexy evening. I then told her that nothing had been ruined...I explained that part of her taking her panties off had been for the excitement of exposing herself and part of it had been for the humiliation of doing so in a restaurant---she'd done both and had in fact increased her own humiliation, thus pleasing me. I promised that it would lead to a reward later...and it did...but for now, she just needed to remember that I wasn't perfect and didn't expect it from her either.

MaamJay -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/7/2009 4:33:14 PM)
Thank you lovingpet and sparky for your kind words. Petlovers always understand how hard it is to lose a furkid. We're through the first week ... the next hard time will be in a week or 2 when he arrives home in his little wooden box. But We know that together We'll get through and We have much to look forward to as well. lovingpet, I think MarsBonfire offered a good idea, next time ask some of the others there ... I'm sure there will be some funny horror stories to share! And as pointed out, you did have the courage to go in, a lot don't! Remember to enjoy experiences for what they are, not for what you build them up to be. And sparky, it's just so good to hear success stories! All the best to you and your very long one night stand! [:D] Maam Jay aka violet[A]

lovingpet -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/7/2009 6:08:11 PM)
I know. Perfectionism kills the subbie! LOL I am perfectly happy to just go and hang out with a bunch of cool folks I am just getting to meet next time. With my situation, it is not worth getting in my head I am going to do anything more than just socialize and enjoy a good show or two. If more happens, great! He has promised that when he sees I am ready he will toss me overboard! [:D] I know CreativeDominant has a point too. I know he was just utterly enjoying watching me be all squirmy and a bit out of sorts. It is a bit difficult for everyday life to get me that way. Short of singing for a crowd... never. Beginning to see a pattern here? Hey, maybe if I do the nakkie thing at the club, singing solo in the church choir won't seem so intimidating! I will say I do give myself credit for walking in there and just simply staying. I didn't run out and refuse to come back in. I didn't have to go out for a breath of fresh air. I was able to just sit and nervously watch. Okay so my hands were probably shaking, I was shifting in my seat, and just had newbie in neon across my forehead, but I did stay and even managed to smile at the few who smiled or spoke to me and actually comment and enjoy the scenes going on with my partner. That's not such a bad night after all! All in all, I agree that it is the tough stuff that makes the bond stronger. We have been through far worse in our short time together. This little blip was really not much in comparison. I am lucky to have him! lovingpet

Gwynvyd -> RE: When We All Fall Down (3/7/2009 10:08:32 PM)
It is so hard to see your sub or slave feeling like they have failed. I know it hits my girl really hard at times. I just hold her, and comfort her when she feels out of sorts. I ask how I can make it better, and what I can do. Sometimes it is as simple as needing more hugs, or simple as taking charge of more things in her life. I think the best thing to do is to let them know they did not fail you, that things are ok, and that you are both going to work through it. My girl had her first night at a BDSM club last month... and I was so proud of her. She was nervous as can be, but she did so well. I know you will too. Just dont sweat the small stuff. Gwyn

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