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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/9/2004 6:05:29 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

It's an unbreakable chain around the heart.....

Welcome Pandora! It's good to see you here, I usually enjoy your writings and look forward to your contribution here.

As to you're post, when I read the above line I was reminded of another quote:

"No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.

— Frederick Douglass (1818-1895), 1883."

To my mind BDSM is about reciprocity, but then to my mind relationships in general are about reciprocity. If the dynamic is an intimate one then it's reasonable to expect intimacy to grow out of it.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to MisPandora)

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/9/2004 3:09:23 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

MisPandora,

Does your personal slave know how lucky he is?

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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Post #: 22

RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/4/2005 11:18:14 AM

princesstorture

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/15/2004
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love is important in all aspect in any relationship. if u feel deeply for d other person esp a sub, u wanna take good care and love him besides all the disciplines tat are enforced. if a dom is not capable of loving his sub, i mean real slaveboy that they keep at home, he is not worthy of the sub. however all these must be done in a fair way that d sub will hv in return to love his/her dom too. love is a wonderful thing that two person shares!

(in reply to tweetygirl)

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Post #: 23

RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/4/2005 12:45:48 PM

darlyn

Posts: 24
Status: offline

i think it is much like any relationship, Amanda. i have formed feelings, even love for a D/M that i have served, but it is, and should be, rare to be 'in love' in the same relationship. Many times it is difficult to distinguish a 'slave's love for their Master' and the being 'in love' of a woman and Man. This is because so much trust is given in the relationship and strong forms of trust can lead to love of the heart. But to fall 'in love'? It does happen, but expect it to be with the same infrequency as with vanilla relationships.

i once told a Dom that asked me what i was looking for, that i hoped to find a Master, in time, that would love me, respect me, control me, teach me, and that Oour relationship would be mutual in all of those regards. His response was that i was looking for a needle in a haystack... but then, shouldn't true love be so?

by the way... just when i stopped looking, the Master of my Destiny (and dreams) found me *smiles*.

< Message edited by darlyn -- 1/4/2005 12:48:42 PM >

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~darlyn~

"Nurturing the mind is just as important as pushing the limits of the body." ~ Master of my Destiny

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/4/2005 2:51:23 PM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
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I agree with BlackGoddess- sex slave, yes; toilet slave, no.

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A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/4/2005 4:06:36 PM

Sweeticing

Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline

For me no it is not important. I am involed so not looking for another long term relationship. But that dosent mean I dont care about them and look out for there best intrest. They are someone who is trusting me and you have to respect that.

_____________________________

quote:

"What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print."...

quote:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" Albert Einstein..

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/4/2005 6:41:44 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: confusetheswede

for master and slave realtionship, b/c that is permenant, yes love is needed. for the the dom/sub realtionship, it's not nessary because they are fucking and have no commitment.

Wow, and I really thought I was doing this the right way....thanks for letting me know I am just looking to fuck. What would I do without your wisdom?

Lily

(in reply to confusetheswede)

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Post #: 27

RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/5/2005 2:03:03 AM

LdyAuburn

Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline

I am also one who is married to my slave/submissive/brat. He is devoted to me (kinda handy that considering the married part), but having said that I have had maids (male) with whom I was not in love with. Ditto for female subs.

This is somewhat repeating other posts but I thought I would put my five cents in (australia doesnt have one or two cents

)

< Message edited by LdyAuburn -- 1/5/2005 2:04:15 AM >

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/5/2005 3:59:36 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
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First of confusetheswede, what do you mean? i love my Dom and i am a Sub, and we have a deep relationship and fuching as you so delicatly put it has werry littel to do whit it, it is the loving care, and me submission what is inportant to him.

I think that most Masters and Dominants care on some level for thier subs or sleves, offcourse not all, but that love varies, it can be romantic love, or it could be the love of a pet, or just a caring and respect for one that submits to you, any any other type of love or caring, but it do not have to be romantic love.

(in reply to MisPandora)

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/5/2005 5:07:10 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: confusetheswede

for master and slave realtionship, b/c that is permenant, yes love is needed. for the the dom/sub realtionship, it's not nessary because they are fucking and have no commitment.

I shudder when I read statements like this. We've definitioned the lifestyle to death and above is a fine example of why it is dangerous to be hung up on meaningless labels.

On topic I feel there are two camps when it comes to emotions ... reciprocal love and non-reciprocated. Non-reciprocated suits the service orientated relationship where the basis of the dynamic is in-equality...the inbalance enabling the relationships survival. The bottom needs to feel inferior to serve. The inferior they feel the more they can submit. The need to prove their worth and to be useful. It suffices that the top show a fondness for them but they generally wouldn't expect a traditional union with the top.

Reciprocated love is better suited to the bottom who serves/submits because of the love their top has for them. It is equality based and those who identify being subs over slaves want a reciprocal love.

Neither are exclusive of the other and most relationships will require a little in-equality to facilitate the power exchange but genuine fondess or love will be needed for them to survive.

Jasmyn

(in reply to confusetheswede)

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 1/5/2005 7:02:36 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tweetygirl

Do Dommes think love is important in a relationship. Do you need to love your sub and care about her. Or can you just have her and not love her.
Amanda

Dear Tweetygirl, 1st I love your name/love tweety...
I've often wondered the same thing, especially when I read about relationships where more than 1 Dom/sub is involved; I can conceive of bringing an occasional (mutually agreed upon) play person into the mix, but only if our love/commitment and trust is that deep, but this is just Me, and how I think/feel...
I'm going to "Me Too" Estring, and say I agree a very high level of trust and commitment is necessary.
If I were going to top someone I didn't care for (subs offering to be my practice toys/pets/whatever), it would have to become more of an exchange thing (he gives me something in order to get something from me, because otherwise I'd feel I am being used. Ms M

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Post #: 31