RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist

RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (Full Version)

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LovingMistress45 -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/4/2009 7:49:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissLaura1973 quote: ORIGINAL: Arafiss82 So I was sitting here wondering what is the difference? mind you this is all your personal opinions and idea's but it would be worth hearing input from others. As someone who self-identifies as both, here's how I see the difference within myself: Dominant - I get off on the power exchange, the ownership, the responsibility. This is who I am, 24/7 (though I am not dominant to all in my life, such as in the vanilla world), but I strive to be calm, collected, empathetic, and rational in all interactions. Sadist - I like to inflict intense sensations (some would classify them as pain, others find them pleasurable); I am a very tactile person and find it physically arousing to touch another's skin, whether with the lightest of touches or the bite of the cane. In a very intense interaction, my "tools" become an extension of my body: I can literally feel the tips of the floggers' lashes as they curve around the buttocks to nip at the person's sweet spot. The very thought makes me salivate. But my sadistic side isn't always present - it's a desire and craving that waxes and wanes and that I do not always indulge. Sometimes the dominant and sadistic sides are present at the same time, such as when I'm feeling sadistic and there's a slave around that I can lay into. If I am being sadistic with one that I consider to be my own, frequently I don't care if they are enjoying themselves - not only am I getting off on the sensations that I'm inflicting, but I am also flying on the knowledge that they're taking the agony out of respect for my desires - that's a heady thought. At other times I am sadistic without there being much power exchange at all, such as when I'm "playing" with a submissive who isn't mine - then, while I am the one providing the sensations, I don't feel that I am the dominant in the scenario - instead, we're equally going through the experience together. (I've a feeling that I've muddled that.) Excellent post MissLaura and it describes me perfectly. To Arafiss82 - ignore the snarky posts it seems some people have a need to respond by being rude, rather than viewing the forum as a place to ask questions and share thoughts.

leakylee -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/4/2009 7:54:21 PM)
being a sadistic top (sado/maso submissive) it comes down to responsibility for me. i like inflicting the pain, the energy from the scene, and dont mind the responsibility of the moment. but after i get the call your good the next day, that's it. i'm done. i don't wanna own anyone. just hurt 'em hehe smooches lee

pettingdragons -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/5/2009 7:05:50 AM)
LMAO thanks quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx You'll know the difference when it hits you... or doesn't.

LPslittleclip -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/6/2009 7:26:33 PM)
i have the pleasure of having a Dominant who is a sadist as well. for U/us this is good as i seem to be a masso sub. the type of Dominant or Domination is something that will differ among them. some have financial, or physical Domination. each will be different, as will the Sadists the type of play and toys used etc.. as my M'Lady says there is no one way to do this lifestyle.

NYLass -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/6/2009 8:27:34 PM)
As a sadomasochist and not a switch, I thought I'd add my input here. As others have said, the dom/sub roles are about power and control. That doesn't interest me at all. I consider tpe a total turn off. Pain, however is a rush. I'm here for the endorphins and to see the look on my partner's face while he enjoys those same endorphins. I don't eroticize pain or use it for sexual pleasure. It's my drug of choice. Hope this helps clear things up somewhat. (PS I'm also here for the free cookies & shiny things.) -Ally: Call me submissive and hear me grrrrr

Arafiss82 -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/8/2009 10:10:23 PM)
more of an interest in what people opinions of the difference.

Arafiss82 -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/8/2009 10:20:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RumpusParable Is it really that hard to open a dictionary or, since already online, to pull up dictionary.com? Really? It's not a matter of personal opinion(s); They're two different things with two different, verifiable definitions. If i wanted things in well defined sterile boxes I would have opened a dictionary. As I value opinions and discussion .... well the post has already been made. Enjoy your day.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/8/2009 11:15:16 PM)
This is a question that does have many layers. I am dominant. I really get off on the control. But I do acknowledge some sadistic streaks within me. But here it becomes a question of intent. Do I want the person to suffer? Or do I want to use the pain to bring ultimate pleasure? To use pain as a tool to bring pleasure to another. I get off on the ability to turn that pain into pleasure and satisfaction. Yet at times, I use the pain to punish, as part of control. So for me, the use of pain is tied to control. What does that make me?

gman992 -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/8/2009 11:16:48 PM)
Newer magazines??? No...that's the difference between a dentist and a sadist....

WyldHrt -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/9/2009 12:53:25 AM)
quote: if she trips and falls down, the Dominant, full of concern, helps her up and asks her if she is ok, checks to make sure she is walking again without pain, obtains an ice pack if necessary and orders her to sit down and apply the ice pack to whatever is swelling for a few minutes before proceeding. the sadist giggles, either right out loud or stifled into a wry smile, and if they happen to be Dominant as well, goes about the same activities as described above...might even feel bad about the uncontrollable giggle...but still finds the trip/fall amusing. LMAO! Knowing the person you are probably referring to; yeah, I can totally see the second scenario [:D]

ExSteelAgain -> RE: What is the difference between a dominant and a sadist (3/9/2009 3:14:56 AM)
There is no doubt that I started as a sadist only. My earliest thoughts of bdsm were causing pain without concern for the well being of the recipient. It was fantasies of capture the girl, torture, rape and leave her. Meeting my first submissive masochist, I categorized her and treated her with little respect…in the beginning. But with time, I began to know her more as a person and I began to grow. Over the years that general quality continued to develop as I met other submissives and began to realize the masochistic feature as an emotional need present even in some of the most capable and well adjusted women. My knowledge of the art of bdsm-D/s became something that cultivated my understanding of submissive women….and my own dominant needs. Practically speaking I became a better, more in demand dominant because I cared about the submissives. It wasn’t a phony concern either, they interested me and pleased me like no others could. A fascinating point comes when you can tell a submissive that she is made for you to beat and use and you both understand it’s true. It’s not posturing, but stating a fact. She knows I will do those things, but I will do it with her concern in mind, also. The trick when that stage is reached when she has completely surrendered is to keep the sadistic edge and pleasure coming for me. I do that by hitting a little harder than she can take, using her a little more, but always staying close to that place where she feels safe and respected. It’s like a jazz piece that doesn’t always stays within the lines, but plays around them with feeling. What a complete bonding that is. Later she comes so naturally under my arm as we walk a path in life. She is happily owned….and I suppose you could call me a dominant.

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