how to ask (Full Version)

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Sirandlittle1 -> how to ask (1/21/2006 8:10:08 PM)

I have asked that i would like to experience pain endorphin high, as opposed to a subspace nice nice pretty high. I have done so in a respectful manner.

He is not into giving pain. And thus is showing disinterest. Just the odd, You, a pain slut? and laughs.

What i have is wish that i have yet to experience. That of pain, coupled with pleasure, then pain, then pleasure. My pain threshold is ltd. im am a wuss. But perhaps in my ignorance, i think, that if its painful, then really painful, that is sufficient to get the endorphins going? no?

i have watched a scene where this type of play was being done. I was very envious of the woman receiving those sensations. I should like to be warmed up slowly, as in this scene.

But im just not getting anywhere with play that i want, but he has little interest in. Ive read heaps about it, fantasising along with reading. He doesnt read up, coz he's not interested. So now what? do i just give up or what?

little1




typesgirl -> RE: how to ask (1/22/2006 5:52:29 AM)

little1: i think one of two things might be happening here.

1. Inflicting this kind of pain on you is one of your Master's hard limits which should be respected as much as your limits are. Perhaps he just hasn't said this. If this is the case and you really want to explore this perhaps he would be willing to take you to a club or some other scene event where another Dom could allow you to experience this.

OR
2. One of your isn't sending or recieving a clear communication. Either He doesn't understand how important this issue is to you or He's not listening at all.

Either way, I'd say that some serious communication needs to take place to be sure that he understands how important this is to you.

typesgirl



Wildfleurs -> RE: how to ask (1/22/2006 8:16:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

I have asked that i would like to experience pain endorphin high, as opposed to a subspace nice nice pretty high. I have done so in a respectful manner.

He is not into giving pain. And thus is showing disinterest. Just the odd, You, a pain slut? and laughs.



You've asked and he's answered politely. I'm not really sure what else you can do (I am assuming that you are in a D/S relationship and obviously this answer is guided by what I view a D/S relationship as being about). If you've asked and he's answered then if you keep on asking then it just becomes pestering. It also sounds like you're building it up to be perhaps more important than it may be. That will just make you pout and resent him more for not doing it (unless you can convince him or ask him enough times to get him to do what he may just not be interested in). I would suggest that you try to let it go at least in the short term. And then maybe in the future, when you are both at a play party and see a scene like you are talking about, point it out to him and ask if maybe you can do that. If he says no, then at that point you should really let it go.

C~



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: how to ask (1/23/2006 6:16:27 PM)

this i would consider a want, not a need. Just a juicy bonus.
so yes, i think i shall just drop it.
until he brings it up in the future,
thanks
little1



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how to ask (1/23/2006 6:52:46 PM)

You could ask as a gift to you that you scene with a top who will take you there.

You could ask WHILE in a scene when things are hot and heavy to please squeeze you harder/hit you more, beg for it in the moment. You could go on about how you want to give that to him, experience that with him, etc etc.

And above all, be patient.



Mercnbeth -> RE: how to ask (1/24/2006 12:26:07 PM)

quote:

I have asked...in a respectful manner.


this slave has learned that is the best way to approach Master with any and all questions. when this slave approaches Master with a question that is purely something this slave WANTS that Master has no interest in, say meatloaf sandwich or listening to Disco, this slave is fully prepared for Him to say "NO", "Yes", or "Not now but maybe later if you are good."

quote:

So now what? do i just give up or what?


this slave is encouraged to seek clarification if she doesn't understand Master's answer, and would encourage you to do the same--respectfully, of course--perhaps you could say that the pain slut comment and the chuckle left you wondering if that means "NO, never" or "NO, but perhaps I might consider indulging you at some time as a treat"...or if He is into begging, you could always give it your best beg.[:)]



BitaTruble -> RE: how to ask (1/24/2006 12:37:20 PM)

Do you ever get the choice of reward or gift? For example, on my birthday, Himself lets me have a scene of my choice, anything I want, as a birthday gift.. and I always make sure to ask for my birthday spanking in dog years, not people years. :) Ultimately, since it's a 'want' rather than a need, you'll have to determine how much you 'want' it. Is it enough to pester him and possibly anger him or cause him stress? Probably not, from what you've written. I'd keep the lines of communication open though. If it's something which you are still thinking about and still fantasizing about, a few months down the road, bring it up again. The next time you do bring it up, ask him if it's ok for you to do so. Let him be the one to determine if you should drop it. He may not realize how important it is to you if it just makes him chuckle to think about it.

Good luck.. and hopefully, your birthday is very soon. :)

Celeste




Sirandlittle1 -> RE: how to ask (1/24/2006 2:12:45 PM)

thankyou for the extra bits after my last post.
I have noticed in the last couple of days, a shift in things. Clearly i have been heard and the pain is coming.[:D] I have been sure to let my Sir know, that i am enjoying this.
Problem is, its coming as a punishment.

Waiting till things are really getting hot, and ask/beg for it, THAT would work very well im sure, so a big thankyou.

Being given a scene to plan as a present, oh my god! Your so fortunate. Id love this, and could menu plan for such a occasion easily. I think when i next am really in the good books, ill suggest this as a reward. Sure beats the 'thankyou, thankyou, thankyou' i got last night lol. Its my birthday soon[;)] oh that's a great idea.

I had writtent this thread after mulling it over in my head, id asked and not got. Im allowed to question things i dont understand, so was going to, when i thought id post this first.
Since posting, spanking has become a bit of a theme. Though unfortunately, the most intense came from me moving when told to keep still. My body bucked at the impact then i safe worded. It should of been in reverse, safe word then move under those circumstances. So i got 10 more. At the end of which, my head was fizzing with emotions, thoughts, and right at the bottom of the pile, was the 'oh yeah, this is a punishment, im not sposed to enjoy it'.

I think that i need to get this separate from punishment. Or ill end up seeking punishment of the spanking variety, which is not good. But perhaps a safe way for a D to explore? who knows.We are going away for the next two weekend, im sure ill get plenty of 'hot' time to beg in then. Fingers crossed[;)]

once again, thanks
little1



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