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bitterlystung -> Update "prayers" (4/8/2009 12:39:45 AM)
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Hi everyone. Wow.. got lots of nice responses here and in my email. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I got a lot of emails and can't respond to them all right now, but just wanted to say thank you and let you know how things are. Buddy passed on not long after my last post, actually. We were all with him as he was "unplugged." He was cremated and placed in the casket with Tammy, and we all got little urns (I didn't know they even had such things) so we all have a bit of him with us. It is amazing the he survived the accident at all. Tammy was immediate. They had a run in with an 18 wheeler and it was likely Buddy's fault, but not because he is a bad driver, from accounts we think he was trying to avoid an animal. Yeah, it's the first thing you learn in driving school, but the kid loved animals. The ONLY thing we are grateful about is that both went together, the other didn't have to face life without their partner. Tammy's family is amazing and their support system was there for us, too. They still are. Our parents are still out west, they are staying in their house, taking care of all the legal things. They are even thinking of buying the house. I don't know if I could do that, but I'm not a parent, either. I guess everyone deals with things differently. My mom and dad are very stoic, strong people, have seen a lot in their lifetimes, so that probably is part of their fabric. I've been back a few weeks and working. Doing my volunteer work with the animals. Those people were wonderful, too. Gosh, I had only volunteered a couple of times and they sent flowers and helped my helper with my dogs! This is the first time I have felt like doing anything outside of focusing on work and volunteering so I guess that is a good sign.
As for my bitterness, well let's say that losing Buddy and Tammy so tragically, so fast, sure has put a different light on my life. I have been doing a lot thinking and soul searching. It just isn't worth holding onto that pain. It's still there. Some. It still stings. Some. But I am looking at it differently than I did before. And guess what? They sent flowers, too, and a very nice Mass card. Life goes on.
I better get back to work. I will check in occassionally and probably get a new name to identify myself and let you know who I am when I do! Thank you all again for your wonderful words, thoughts and prayers. This is indeed a nice place to be.
grace
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