How has it changed you?

How has it changed you? (Full Version)

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CatdeMedici -> How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 6:51:52 AM)
Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you?

mistoferin -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 6:57:08 AM)
For me those are very hard questions to answer as I have never known any "other" life. It is impossible for me to know who I would have been or where my life would have taken me if I had known a different path.

beargonewild -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 6:58:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you? Changed me - Yes Personal growth - Yes Freed me - In many ways Yes Completed me - It fills that spot that seemed to be missing all these years. Gained a full sense of knowing where I belong without doubts.

chezzy71 -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 7:24:03 AM)
I belong to Mistress Cat as i wear her training collar proudly.Before that however,Mistress and i were friends..at times she was the only one i could really turn to for advice and just to spew.She never said "no chezz" or i can't be bothered right now.Instead in slow steps she offered her hand in supposrt and spoke with me as often as she could.Because we started this way,it allowed plenty of time for all of the topics she has listed to come to light.We are all different but because she took the time with me and i her to really get to know each other,it has worked best for us.I couldn't be happier if you had told me five years ago..hey chezz..guess what??..You are going to end up on Mistress Cat's training collar.Of course the goal is a full fledged ownership collar which neither of us take lightly.This is what the lifestyle in general and one beautiful in heart and mind Domina has done for me.

subangi -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 7:31:20 AM)
It has unleashed the desires and identity that i have kept hidden deep in my soul. When i discovered others felt the same and there was a name and lifestyle to it..... it was like a revelation.... i didnt have to keep inside what i had convinced myself was demented thinking or some kind of psychological disorder.

IronBear -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 7:35:06 AM)
Just adds another dimention of what I have been doing..

MissMorrigan -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 7:38:29 AM)
This is a difficult one to answer, Cat, and whatever I say will fall short of providing a reasonable reply other than to say that I experienced my first D/s S & M relationship at the age of sixteen (he was my first love and first lover) and in a bottom/maso role, one in which I remained for many years. I have nothing else to compare my life to had it taken a different path. I may come back to this later after a good long think.

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 7:47:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you? It's allowed me a way to love, to experience pure, romantic love and express that love more deeply, more passionately, and more intensely than i ever could have done in any other way, because that's the way I happen to be hardwired to express and experience love. And in allowing me that avenue to express and experience love, it's facilitated the personal growth that encompasses all the things you list. I'd be a bleak, monochromatic, dimensionless shadow of a human being had I not had the opportunities to live at least some periods of my life in this manner.

agirl -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 10:05:52 AM)
M is the life I have ....It wouldn't actually matter if there was no explicit authority exchange. The most significant factor is that when I'm with him, I'm myself ........with all the good and all the not so good. Being with M is liberating. agirl

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 10:22:25 AM)
i was coming out of a bitter divorce when i "embraced" this side to me. my self-esteem and confidence was shot to pieces by my ex. i had no clear direction as to how to move my life forward and beyond with my ums. that was nearly 3yrs ago. now, i'm slowly coming out of my shell. even my ex is starting to take notice since he claimed i would beg him to take me back. lol - not bloody likely. i'm happier without him. thanks to Daddy, i'm more confident in the things i do ...my self-esteem is riding high. i have a clear direction where my life is going especially with plans to remarry next year.

LaTigresse -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 10:43:37 AM)
I spent the first 36 years of my life living the way others thought I should. Taking care of responsibilities, pretending to be happy with things others envied and wanted. Then I had my first female lover, and then was introduced to BDSM, and more importantly a power exchange type relationship. Those two things freed me to feel comfortable with myself. It wasn't instant, alot of it was very painful. I am still not done growing. But I am a more authentic me.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 11:01:27 AM)
Being kinky hasn't changed me in anyway, I am who I always have been. I've always accepted that and I will probably always accept and be happy with being kinky. quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you?

DavanKael -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 11:23:22 AM)
Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? **It hasn't, it's a part of me and always has been. Made you grow? I think that standing proudly, despite not being accepted by my ex-, was a growth of sorts. Matured you? Enh, maybe the relationship following my separation from my ex-, which was specifically constructed with a D/s structure, though affinity and friendship were there as well, maybe jaded me a bit moreso. I am not sure if that is maturity but I definitely sacrificed a bit more of my joy while attempting to share such. Freed you? I am as free or as fettered as I have chosen to be since I left my Parents home. In some ways, perhaps my separation and pending divorce from my ex- is a type of freedom, though not one I inherently desired nor did I lament those things that bound me uncomfortably within; I was committed to the relationship. Completed you? **No, unless I go on to acknowledge that it's always been a part of me. The desire to submit to 'my people' is something I see in myself as far back as I can remember. The desire for D/s is something I discovered at 19 or 20 and I accepted it from the get-go. Davan

kdsub -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 11:25:50 AM)
Since my desires are directly opposed to my strong personality the most I can hope for is to be temporarily sated. Often followed by anger and disgust. No hope I’m afraid Butch

MistressXahDee -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 11:38:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you? I feel more free to express those thoughts that lurk in my mind. For example, A man walks into an elevator with me and another woman in it; and says 'hey girls'. In the past, I would have thought after the fact, next time I correct that kind of action. This time that it happened he was promptly corrected with no 'that's ok' at the end of the interaction. That for me is freedom and growth. Similarly, I say what is in my heart...sometimes you just have to say..'.I love you man'. I also love myself more deeply than before, I didn't know if I was 'supposed' to love the part of me that desires someone's overt submission to my will. Love without limit, spank with fun loving abandon. As far as 'completed me', I would say the thing I do has made me more aware of my own boundaries as well as other people's boundaries.

Evility -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 11:45:26 AM)
Those are all questions that might be asked of anyone who suddenly stumbled upon all of this out of the blue and there are plenty of folks who fit that bill. The one event that had the most profound effect on me was finding a partner who would submit at a level that allowed me to pursue instincts that I have had as long as I can remember. Until I met her they were nothing but concepts... now they are realities.

mc1234 -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 11:55:32 AM)
I started exploring my submissive side when I turned 40. Three years later ... yes, I've matured; I've definitely grown emotionally and understand more about myself than before. I'm more introspective. But I think that would have happened without D/s and BDSM ... I think turning 40 and 50, from what I've experienced and from what friends have shared, is in general a huge growth period to begin with.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 12:10:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin For me those are very hard questions to answer as I have never known any "other" life. It is impossible for me to know who I would have been or where my life would have taken me if I had known a different path. Exactly, I have no idea how to separate just "me becoming me" from "the kinky stuff made me into..."

Prinsexx -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 3:43:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you? No more guilt, no more nightmares, no more fantasies, absolute resolute friendships, mind-blowing orgasms.............

HeavansKeeper -> RE: How has it changed you? (3/6/2009 5:12:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Embracing whatever aspect of this life you have: How has it changed you? Made you grow? Matured you? Freed you? Completed you? This lifestyle has changed me. Growth and maturity go hand in had. I've been given the opportunity to help better another, which has started me on a road to understanding what it means to love another more than oneself. I never have before, and I may never... But I want to understand the immense force it takes. (I know that sounds like a submissive statement, as if I wanted to shift my id into my owner, but that;s just a quick quick summary of a much bigger feeling.) Being freed and completed are, in my eyes, linked. I'd hate to think the complete me doesn't feel free. I've learned freedom. I've learned to be rewarded for honesty, not ashamed. I was given the chance to mold someone to respond to me that way I want: Free of judgment. Without getting too vile, this lifestyle has given me the chance to crave so many "unnatural" things, and be reward with a grin, a moan of pleasure and intrigue, and a "Yes, Master." It has also spoiled me. Having a mate who takes pleasure in my wishes is not something the "average" guy gets. The guys in my life (family and friends) complain about so many issues which I don't see with My Pet. It's partially a lucky match up, with good chemistry and direction, but also the power dynamic. Taking pleasure from serving me, even if it's by being out of the way, gives My Pet the ability to be happy in making me happy. When the other guys are bitching "I have to tell my girlfriend we're at a business thing so she doesn't get pissed" I just grin, knowing I can tell My Pet "Girly. Master is going out tonight. Don't chew on the furniture." Don't get me wrong, power exchange is not an excuse to neglect a submissive, but it gives us the freedom to tackle that apparent problem and still be happy with ourselves.

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