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use mail settings - 3/6/2009 8:55:13 AM

pollypot

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

why is it,that 1000s of dommes/mistresses go on and on about not wanting men to send messages to them>??? when a simple tick,on the mail settings does this for them. it makes me think that they need to be showing others on collarme:::"look at my profile,and see how much i dislike men"" very strange!!

Post #: 1

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 9:10:40 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

I've seen tons of these profiles too. I don't blame them for keeping the wolves out, or as Pacino said "May we sit here? Just til your husband gets back.. to protect you from the womanizers."

I'm sure some don't know about the mail functions. To do an action, one must have the will and the ability. Assuming they have the ability (the tech skills required to tinker with mail settings and the knowledge that it exists) we are discussing the discrepancy of those who CAN block all incoming male emails, but don't. But also say they want to.

Personally, I like receiving c-mail. The red NEW MESSAGES always brings a small smirk to my face. Call me an attention whore, but everyone likes a personal letter.

There are only so many drives for the person we are discussing.

1) They secretly like receiving letters from men.
2) They can't help but be curious what the letters say.
3) The are vehemently opposed to censorship, and pay the piper with a full inbox of "u want 2 cyber>?" daily.
4) They are leaving the door open so a proper gentlemen can write an intelligible and respectful letter... in doing so, pay the piper with a full inbox of "u want 2 cyber>?" daily.
5) Realized they're happier with the filter down, than up. Maybe they just like letters

.
6) It's a challenge for the truly devoted man. (This is the "no means yes" argument which accounts for rape.)

I'm stretching here for any other motivations.

This thread will inevitably use the argument of miniskirts and blaming men for looking (probably while I'm writing this response). It could be a case of that, but there are much more attractive cock teases than a "no boys allowed sign".

Edit: than/then homonym error.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 3/6/2009 9:22:27 AM >

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to pollypot)

Post #: 2

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 9:18:15 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Maybe they have male friends and do not want to block all men? But it is their profile. Perhaps you'd be better asking them.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 3

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 10:08:14 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

BEACH!!!!!!!!! *tacklehugsandkisses* How are you, gorgeous???

OP.. as a switch (who has gone to the sub side for my husband (!!) ) I can say that I have to deal with a lot of unwanted mail from guys because if I block men I will no longer get email from my husband (just because we're married doesnt mean he doesnt email me anymore).

Plus...some of the unwanted email is good for laughs..... ok, most of it is...

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 4

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 10:08:55 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Why do some people go on and on about what others write in their profile??? when a simple click, on next moves them to the next profile.....it makes me think that they need to bring attention to themselves on collarme:::::"look at me, I'm someone too" very strange!!

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to pollypot)

Post #: 5

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 10:09:51 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*snort* yeah, there's that, too.... LOL

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 6

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 10:35:58 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Heyya Greedy! *hugshugs*

And I agree on the issue of "if ya don't like what's on the profile, click hide so it doesn't come up again." We're supposed to be a lifestyle of tolerance. We may not like what they have to say on their profile, but then again, we're not forced to read it either. Vote with your feet, so to speak. If you don't like some one's profile, click hide and it won't come back to bother you.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 7

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 12:42:29 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Disliking men, for some people, isn't strange! lol They may have very good reason for their dislike of men or getting email from them. Of course I am not one of them and feel it is a shame that anyone would dislike someone because of gender or grouping... but hey... big world out there and they have the right to feel as they do as long as they aren't doing harm to people. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. You aren't male and I do have to wonder why this bother's you so much that you would start a thread over it. Yes... very strange indeed. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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Post #: 8

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 1:10:43 PM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

speaking for myself, I love men. Without men, I'd have to carry my own luggage, do my own nails and change my own oil. Men are (mostly) wonderful

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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

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Post #: 9

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 1:24:47 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I kind of like them too... They do look better in black boxer's than I do and are so much fun to play with...

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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Post #: 10

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 1:28:05 PM

MissLaura1973

Posts: 161
Joined: 11/11/2008
Status: offline

Don't forget hauling out the garbage, scrubbing the floors, providing excellent foot and back rubs, offering fun dangly things to poke and prod and otherwise torment.

(in reply to MsFlutter)

Post #: 11

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 3:57:55 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Why do some people go on and on about what others write in their profile??? when a simple click, on next moves them to the next profile.....it makes me think that they need to bring attention to themselves on collarme:::::"look at me, I'm someone too" very strange!!

Nice form matching, made me smile at the inanity of the whole thing. That said, I've never been one to keep my big fat mouth out of the honeypot because the jar was too small.

I try make a point to remember not to judge people on aspects about themselves they cannot control and didn't choose. I give an effort not to judge people for their choices, more so when I can't comprehend them. I never judge curiosity. Asking "why" is a gift we must cherish and bolster.

The contents of a profile are public, there is zero expectation of privacy. Even though the information is not solicited, i.e. forced upon the reader, it is still up for debate and question. While the question does not regard the blatant overgeneralization made by said women, it is an issue of interest to many - and is already in motion in this thread.

The point of this particular post is to stake my position: "Just ignore it" is a fine solution, but that doesn't solve the question of "why...?"

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 12

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 5:08:29 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I think it's entirely reasonable for a Domme to say she doesn't want mail from men who are soliciting her favors or relational attentions. That doesn't mean she hates or even dislikes men at large.
When my profile had more meat (I hacked it when I posted 'not looking' status), I stated something to the effect of though I identify as bi-, that I wasn't interested in women for primary partnered relationships. That doesn't mean I don't like women or have female friends with whom I speak on here. Just means exactly what I said: not looking for a female primary partner.
Sometimes, people really are stating their preferences and aren't 'hating on' anyone, though one can understand that some would get short-tempered with the scads of submissive males hurling themselves willy nilly on CM sometimes. :>
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 13

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 5:18:07 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

As for the "why," it could be very much the same as the reason I say in My profile that I'm not interested in people who aren't local to Me, but I haven't changed My mail settings. It's very much because of the forums and the times I want to communicate with people on various subjects. There are some fascinating people on these forums and they are scattered all over the world.

In addition, like GT, if I changed the mail controls, My sub would be locked out. I don't think Mister P has changed his location to Korea, but I know clip has updated his to NV. So, why should My family and net friends be inconvenienced by having to set mail controls that would hinder our communications just to please someone who was randomly looking at profiles?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 14

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 5:29:39 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Why do some people go on and on about what others write in their profile??? when a simple click, on next moves them to the next profile.....it makes me think that they need to bring attention to themselves on collarme:::::"look at me, I'm someone too" very strange!!

Why do some people go on and on about what people write in their posts about people going on and on about what others write in their profile? Why do some people go on and on about some people who go on and on about what people write in their posts about people going on and on about what others write in their profile?

I'm beginning to give myself a headache . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 15

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 6:02:25 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

Lady Pact,

I'm quite neutral in my position. When I see a "No Boys Allowed" sign I almost always respect the wishes and move on. (Depending on context, I can decipher pretty well which profiles are saying "I hate men" and which are saying "Please don't solicit me for sex, thanks.")

It's very limiting to auto-ignore emails based on gender. So limiting, I cannot rationalize using it. I dare not speak for little pollypot, but I took the opening post as a springboard for discussion, not a plea for the "No-men-please"/Refusing-to-use-mail control-woman to change her ways. I could be wrong. Evidence to indicate both understandings exists.

You obviously know you need no go-ahead from me, and that is not my aim. Your posts have made me respect you more than one should expect from a stranger. You're one of a handful of members here who I delight in reading - one could say "purple means stop." Anyone whose followed my posts here and there would see I often avoid the "reality" of the situation in favor of the principles governing the theory. I've done it here as well. It's more interesting to me that way.

Or maybe I'm just trying to squeeze as much merit as I can out of overly simple matters. Or maybe this fish bites at troll chum.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 16

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 6:32:56 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

HK, thanks for the compliment. The "purple means stop" gave Me a smile. I always enjoy reading from you, too. I hope your heaven is well.

I do get why some people get to the extremes on a profile. I think most of the females on both sides of the kneel get annoyed at least every now and again with those messages that don't adhere to 'requests' when they are polite about it. Too often, people think they are the exception to the rule, if they read the preferences in a profile at all. Too often, people don't and I think that's the frustration that leads to the hard line stance some people have.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 17

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 6:43:03 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

BEACH!!! I knew it was worth popping into this thread!

I do have my mail set so that jailbait and "other countries" are bulk mail, but I continually have to check it because of my many friends in Canada and the UK. It's worth having all the stuff from the Middle East out of immediate sight, though...

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 18

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 6:57:17 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I do have my mail set so that jailbait and "other countries" are bulk mail . . .

ALL other countries, Lady Hib? Am I to take it that my jewels of wordcraft to you end up in your bulk folder?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

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Post #: 19

RE: use mail settings - 3/6/2009 7:03:12 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Sadly, darling one, my choice is EVERYONE, or "other countries". There's no option for choosing a select list of locales... So I eagerly check the bulk mail as often as the regular one! It's prolly not the best sorting system...

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 20

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