RE: "Under Consideration" ???

RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 3:20:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: la90066 quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl I've always thought it funny when a female sub has "under consideration" on their profile. Mainly, because male Doms outnumber female subs 3 to 1 in the scene. With a lot of male Doms to choose from it's actually the Dom that is under consideration. Respectfully, I'd say yes and no... While I agree there are more men on kink sites, I'd argue that the vast majority are not "Doms". I personally know 3 subs that left CollarMe in under a month because of the hundreds of emails they received, they could not find ONE that they considered a "Dom", instead of a snot-nosed "Dickhead" who just wanted to get laid. Do ya kinda know what I mean? [:)] When I was looking for a new Dom, I had messages from over 400 "Doms" in one month. Out of that 400, approximately 50 met my criteria for the person I wanted in my life. Out of that 50, I met maybe 20. Out of 20, I had 6 that I decided to actually go out on a date with. Out of 6, I had 3 that I had more than one date with and I eventually started dating one on a steady basis. So, yes, I considered them to be someone that I was considering a relationship with.

la90066 -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 3:20:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel I do think male Doms over 40 generally have it made. Of course this could be because female subs over 40, plus subs of all ages, tend to want older Doms. Realistically, in social vanilla situations, guys over 40 are in demand wouldn't everyone agree? Not to hijack my own thread, and maybe it's just been my observation, but I see an aweful lot of bottoms in their 20s that specifically state they don't seek anyone over 40 -- and in many cases, over 35. Which is understandible, as they'd be able to better relate to one closer to their age? But again, that's just my personal observation. FYI... Some time last year I'd done my own SURVEY, sampling a bunch of kinksters from Bondage.com -- the results were VERY interesting... Check it out!!! SURVEY RESULTS (Page 1) http://www.my3q.com/view/viewSummary.phtml?questid=67719 SURVEY RESULTS (Page 2) http://www.my3q.com/view/viewSummary.phtml?intStart=20&questid=67719 [:D]

la90066 -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 3:22:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: la90066 quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl I've always thought it funny when a female sub has "under consideration" on their profile. Mainly, because male Doms outnumber female subs 3 to 1 in the scene. With a lot of male Doms to choose from it's actually the Dom that is under consideration. Respectfully, I'd say yes and no... While I agree there are more men on kink sites, I'd argue that the vast majority are not "Doms". I personally know 3 subs that left CollarMe in under a month because of the hundreds of emails they received, they could not find ONE that they considered a "Dom", instead of a snot-nosed "Dickhead" who just wanted to get laid. Do ya kinda know what I mean? [:)] When I was looking for a new Dom, I had messages from over 400 "Doms" in one month. Out of that 400, approximately 50 met my criteria for the person I wanted in my life. Out of that 50, I met maybe 20. Out of 20, I had 6 that I decided to actually go out on a date with. Out of 6, I had 3 that I had more than one date with and I eventually started dating one on a steady basis. So, yes, I considered them to be someone that I was considering a relationship with. What's the expression... "Your mileage may vary"??? [;)] hee hee hee

veronicaofML -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 3:50:08 PM)
personally i think all the consideration is nonsense. What does it mean? is it like going steady? To me its just all o/l nonesense and has no place in my life. So no i wouldn't want it...but hey thats me. ======= to some point..i agree with you. but then too....... when i have been--under consideration..it was / and is/ always put in my profile. that way it seems...to help..other dommes..as a common courtesy..in case they decide..they want to talk to me..they would know upfront i am serious about 'a' person. kinda like yer best girl havin yer engagement ring..k? but hey you are entitled and i do understand your point...and it is a valid one. take care

KnightofMists -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 4:03:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: la90066 quote: ORIGINAL: justatoy2 personally i think all the consideration is nonsense. What does it mean? is it like going steady? To me its just all o/l nonesense and has no place in my life. So no i wouldn't want it...but hey thats me. I don't personally have a problem with it... As a Dom, when I see that in a bottom's profile, I think it's a courtesy to both the bottom's Dom/me and other Dom/mes. I tend not to approach bottoms that have this in their profile out of respect for the Dom that's considering her, if that makes sense? I agree... I think it makes perfect sense... Of course one should also consider the motivations. If I am looking for an involved relationship, well collared or otherwise attached individuals are avoided. If my motivation is just to build a simple friends and/or acquintence then well things are alittle different.. but i do step very lightly in collared or considerations situations as not to offend the Primary indiivdual in that person's life. I would also add that I very much look friendly/acquintences with submissives and Dominants alike... Male or Female. My involved relationships is very much all that I want and anything else is are all secondary but can be a good part of life too. Friendship is Friendship... no matter what side of the D/s or F/M side of the coin one is on. Or maybe the person is on the edge and not on a side that all G

IceyOne -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 4:20:38 PM)
Like most who have already stated, it's almost a matter of pride when a Master/Dom sees that in the profile of a sub/slave that they are courting [;)] It's really just a polite way of saying 'hey, I am about to get serious here about this person, please respect that'

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/22/2006 5:54:27 PM)
It's most often just another romantic trapping/ritual to make the sub and dom feel fuzzy about what they are doing.

MHOO314 -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/23/2006 6:46:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: la90066 Question for both the Tops and bottoms... When a sub/slave is "under consideration" and specifies this in their profile (either on their own or by order of a Dom/me)... Dom/mes -- Do you mention anything in YOUR profile that you are "considering" said sub/slave for service/ownership, or do you wait till you've "accepted" this person before mentioning it in your profile -- for that matter, would you mention it even if the sub/slave is accepted? Your thoughts?!! [:)] I do use the "collar of consideration" it is My way of letting the submissive know I am for that time clearly focused on getting to know him, and it is noted clearly at the beginning of My profile-although it seems there are many male subs who cannot read clearly and still petition (annoying as hell)---, I prefer as well for My submissive to do the same, to let other Dominas know that he has someone he is focusing on---but if you will note in both profiles, this was offered well after many weeks of talks and chats--so to Me it is not a frivalous gesture. I think it is annoying as heck to be communicating with a sub and then have them say--well I am really involved with so and so--I'd much rather see it posted in the profile or the journal at the least.

yourMissTress -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/23/2006 9:21:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: la90066 Question for both the Tops and bottoms... When a sub/slave is "under consideration" and specifies this in their profile (either on their own or by order of a Dom/me)... Dom/mes -- Do you mention anything in YOUR profile that you are "considering" said sub/slave for service/ownership, or do you wait till you've "accepted" this person before mentioning it in your profile -- for that matter, would you mention it even if the sub/slave is accepted? subs/slaves -- Do you want/need any mention of your "consideration" in the Dom/me's profile that you are being "considered" by, or would you not want/need this mention until you've been "accepted" -- for that matter, do you want/need it mentioned at all, even if you are accepted? Your thoughts?!! [:)] I like the collar of consideration idea. I consider it a way for someone to say that they are involved with another. I guess if you needed to break it down to a vanilla equivalent as someone else did on this thread, I would liken it to the committed/monogamous dating stage of a relationship. The period of time that you take between getting to know someone and deciding if this is a person you want to be with long term.

EvilGeoff -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/23/2006 11:27:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel Being under consideration means a Dom has been fucking around with you for awhile, but is about to cut you loose. Really? No one told me that. I had janey under consideration for about 6 months before collaring her (we had been dating/seeing each other 3 months before that and been friends for several years before we started dating). I wish I had known so I could have kicked her to the curb instead of spending the last 2.5 years with her as my slave. YIK, - Geoff

ExistentialSteel -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 12:08:29 AM)
Geoff, I'm sincerely happy for you and Janey. My only point is that the "under consideration" concept allows a Dom some no strings play that does not have to lead to a collar....and often doesn't. It is kind of like a carrot held out for the sub. Of course it is all a matter of semantics. It could just as easily be that you play around for awhile with no promises by either and see how things go. If it makes anyone feel good to think of it as being under a formal consideration, I say good for them.

RubberWitch -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 1:18:07 AM)
I think the "Under consideration" tag has it's relevencies, though we do use variations on the phrase. It's... If I can have a sub put in their profile something along the lines of "I'd rather no other Dom/mes contact me for a bit, as I am exploring things with my ShiFu, Rubberwitch", then it's like having wound my first coil around them. It does annoy the hell out of me when something like that is ignored by other dominants. We found a cute, very green oriental sub, that looked perfect for us, but despite being under our "auspices", she got bombarded by some prat of a "Doll Trainer", US based net-harem owning fucktard. She's now blocked both of us, and retreated into her shell like a tortoise. Well, we'll see on that one eg Just saying. if people put it on their profiles, assume it means what it says, and have the manners to keep fingers off. J&c

Chaingang -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 4:32:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross It's most often just another romantic trapping/ritual to make the sub and dom feel fuzzy about what they are doing. Yeah, and of course THAT should be opposed at all costs!!! The "Under Consideration" sign just means someone wants to be left alone for a time - they are involved with something and do not require nor seek any interference from YOU, the reader. How hard can that be to understand? Have none of you ever been to a hotel and then put out the "Do Not Disturb" sign? Would you then have been eager to be disturbed every few minutes while trying to sleep or play? I think not... Courtship is often accompanied by signals that allow others to know your level of availability - some signs mean "green light" while other signs mean "red light." The "Under Consideration" sign is a red light signal meaning stop, do not contact me, I am not available right now. It is a courtesy notification. There's a clue for y'all...the fact that this issue comes up as routinely as it does just tells me that some of you have no clue, in fact, as to how to behave in polite society. Personally, I am very respectful of any such "red light" comments in someone's profile even should I be feverishly seeking someone. Why waste time with someone that doesn't want to be contacted? It seems a simple enough concept to me - why not to some of you others?

collaredheart -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 5:02:44 AM)
I think E/everyone tends to have their own views on things in the Lifestyle. I wear a collar of consideration given to me by my Master. It is a beautiful silver necklace he chose and placed around my neck. We discussed what it meant and to us it is a commitment to each other on both sides to work at our D/s relationship and not pursue others. He has said when the time is right and He believes i am ready to accept full Control under 24/7 conditions it will be replaced by a full collar. This is something we are both working towards. That works for us, many would disagree but that is the thing about D/s.. what works for some may not for others but as long as the Master and slave agree and are happy with it that is all that matters.

phoenixslave -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 5:03:23 AM)
The sub could just as easily play around during this time with a "no strings" attitude as the dom could. For those who have connected long distance it is an honorable thing to do. A long distance connection may take months to navigate until you meet. You talk and talk and get quite close. You want to meet but you can't drop everything to do so. It is reasonable if not only fair to stop seeking others during this time for many, including myself.

ExistentialSteel -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 6:51:03 AM)
Collaredheart, it sounds like you are in a good situation and I wouldn't disagree with your happy trial period. However, there are two different things being discussed on the thread. One, we all agree is good. If a sub puts "under consideration" on her profile, it means she doesn’t want mail or whatever. The other discussion is that Doms often use the carrot of putting a sub “under consideration” for some no strings play while keeping her from possibly developing other relationships. These arrangemenst can end with nothing for the sub. Not every relationship, but some and that is all I’m pointing out. Again, though, if it makes a Dom and sub feel as if they are doing something according to the mystical book, more power to them.

Chaingang -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 6:57:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel The other discussion is that Doms often use the carrot of putting a sub “under consideration” for some no strings play while keeping her from possibly developing other relationships. These arrangemenst can end with nothing for the sub. How do you know it is "no strings"? Why should you care if the sub ends up with nothing? Why don't you care if it is the Dom that is being led to nothing? Do you know how to mind your own business? Life is full of risks. Enjoy your life. Leave others alone to enjoy their own lives.

ExistentialSteel -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 7:04:50 AM)
quote: Do you know how to mind your own business? LOL...no.

collaredheart -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 8:01:30 AM)
I can see what you are saying and yes of course there are both Doms and subs that say they are committed when really they are not. I guess its a good idea to try and get to know the person first before agreeing to anything. It happens often online. I have had Doms approach me in the past that have no intention of offering me real life which i state is what i want on my profile yet they say they will mentor me etc so i am out of circulation to anyone else whereas they give me no kind of commitment and are free to troll any sub they desire. Im sure there are also subs that say they are loyal when they arent. Its just how it goes and its sad. In my view it is about finding a partner that fits how you feel about the lifestyle. If you are a loyal, honest sub its no good accepting a Dom that claims you for himself but is so busy trolling others he has no time for you. Vice versa also of course.

fyreredsub -> RE: "Under Consideration" ??? (1/24/2006 9:08:41 AM)
Master is not anywhere near cutting me loose. i am being considered for collar... it is different for Gorean Masters. quote: ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel Being under consideration means a Dom has been fucking around with you for awhile, but is about to cut you loose.

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