RE: Jealous Owners?

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AquaticSub -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 5:28:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 I only supplied that information because this seemed to be going all over the place. I felt the need to clarify. I think there is a difference between not being able to handle it or just choosing not to engage in it. Again, there will be as many opinions as there are relationships. I am sure that we both (meaning you and I)do what makes our relationship be the best and healthiest it can be for us. That's all the matters. I don't believe I said there wasn't. Only that I don't understand a blanket rule that applies to all men regardless of their character instead of a "no asshole" policy. Naturally everyone will do what works for them when it comes down to it but since the topic is up for discussion on the thread, I feel comfortable questioning the overall logic.

zero69u2 -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 6:58:38 PM)
Aynne88 - I only said that because there are ways to avoid email solicitations.. already built into the collarme system. I meant it to be helpful... but apoligize my wording was wrong.. Bad Example of what its like from the other side... suppose your a domme looking for a submissive boy in your local area. for simple math You have 500 profiles in your home state to look through. out of those 500.. 300 of them are already collared and not searching. or in the elimination round 1. - congratulations you just read thru 300 profiles and are really begining to feel the fatigue and hopelessness that dom's feel everytime they start reading profiles. of already taken submissives. You keep your noble intentions and save time by not writing anyone with consideration collar, collar, gorean velcro collar or not looking stamped on their profile. also eliminating all of those profiles that read like I'm a gift, my butt is black n blue and i love bleeding, i peed my pants and need my diaper changed.. eliminate all profiles without pictures.. out of the 200 potential playmates ---- 50 of those are as old as your grandpa.. You dont want to give em heart attacks -- so now that leaves 150. out of the 150 potential playmates - 75 of them are GAY seeking Male Dom's.... So you nix those 75... out of the 75 left... 60 of them have a list of hard limits as long as your arm.. you read thru their shopping list of things they won't do for you and begin to really feel the topping from the bottom that all doms/dommes feel when they read thru such profiles. okay 15 guys left for you.. and your about to pass out.. from drinking.. 10 of those have'nt been on the website since 2008.. so you can pretty much bank that anything you write to them will not get to them till 2010. 5 guys left to write a letter to.. your so exhausted.. the only thing you can think of to write.. is Hey wanna Fuck.. ;) or if you are really wired on coffee you might write a long elequent letter that is taken the wrong way. why did you demand i get on my knees don't talk to me like that you pervy woman. whatever you wrote was taken wrong..... how many of those 5 are 200+ miles away.. in your state but on the other side.. could you imagine how the people in new york and california feel.. with 5000+ profiles to wade thru. yourhandmyass - I agree with you a 100%..

masterslilgirl -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 7:19:03 PM)
My Master is not the jealous type either. He knows that i know Whom i belong to. i tell Master about every mail i get, and sometimes He tells me the person is okay to talk to, sometimes He just refers to them as "horny net guys," and rarely He tells me to block them. All of the people i have had ongoing, intelligent conversations with on CM are Doms. However, i have gotten mails from subs, switches, and Doms that seem to get me to want to leave my Master. i realize that most of them don't read my profile. i have blocked several. i've been known to get upset when these people insult my intelligence or my Master, which is why He has told me to block some. Would they really want a girl who would so easily leave her Master? i put up some rules on my profile that will get people blocked, several people have told me they liked that. i'm sure the list will expand when i've been on here longer.

Aynne88 -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 7:24:23 PM)
Fair enough. That is his rule for me and I don't have an issue with it. I just felt that I was getting the typical response that I was too weak or he was too insecure to allow me to speak with men. I don't mean to imply from you, I meant in general. Like I said, it is because I get irritated by it and was wasting time answering the multitude of rude emails I got and he put an end to it. Simple really. I run a construction business, I deal with men every day all day. I don't question his authority in this really small matter. Can we just agree that perhaps we have a different outlook on it without thinking one or the other is wrong? quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 I only supplied that information because this seemed to be going all over the place. I felt the need to clarify. I think there is a difference between not being able to handle it or just choosing not to engage in it. Again, there will be as many opinions as there are relationships. I am sure that we both (meaning you and I)do what makes our relationship be the best and healthiest it can be for us. That's all the matters. I don't believe I said there wasn't. Only that I don't understand a blanket rule that applies to all men regardless of their character instead of a "no asshole" policy. Naturally everyone will do what works for them when it comes down to it but since the topic is up for discussion on the thread, I feel comfortable questioning the overall logic.

Aynne88 -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 7:26:11 PM)
zero69u2, No need at all to apologize, really. I utililize the cm system, males go to the bulk mail folder. No biggie [8D].

AquaticSub -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 7:32:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Can we just agree that perhaps we have a different outlook on it without thinking one or the other is wrong? Of course. I don't believe I stated or implied that one way is wrong, though perhaps it came across that way. I do find the logic flawed but that doesn't make it wrong when it comes to relationships. I was never trying to say you, your owner or your rule is wrong but to debate the concept overall as it applies to thousands of people who have such a rule and no one in particular.

Aynne88 -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 7:38:02 PM)
Cool beans kimono cookie[:)]. I really hate arguing on these damn threads. I got ya, and I get ya.

AquaticSub -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 7:40:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Cool beans kimono cookie[:)]. I really hate arguing on these damn threads. I got ya, and I get ya. switchs roles I'm a kimono cookie?!!?!? COOKIE!!!! squeals and does a happy dance [sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif]

littlewonder -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 8:02:48 PM)
Do you guys reallly get that swamped by email from doms here even though you're taken? Seriously...since I put "taken" in my profile, I may get less than 10 emails a day which are mostly from malesubs who don't even speak English or people who already know me from before and I still chat with occasionally. 10 emails are pretty easy to delete without even a response. The rest get snippy remarks, shared with Master and still deleted lol Anyway...that's my hijack for the day

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 8:33:31 PM)
1) I keep my slave as property without rights, so there are no rights to respect. 2) She has privileges, and one of them is a certain amount of online time. It is my time to give. 3) Your opinion would be incorrect as an absolute, most absolutes are. 4) As far as privacy goes, my property has none, even going to piss or crap she must ask permission. 5) Control is different in each dynamic, some are more strict than others, and if it works then there are no problems. quote: ORIGINAL: cjan Imo, adults, of either gender, whether submissive, slave or whatever way they choose to self identify, don't need a protector who monitors their online activities. Sure, there are a lot of jerks out there who either don't read profiles, ignore them, send unsolicited pics and rude e-mails, etc., however, the subs that are not "taken" seem to find ways to deal with these realities without need of a censor. I have respect for peoples' privacy and freedom to socialize and communicate with whom they wish, online or not. I find it as unacceptable to read another person's correspondence as I do if someone were to read mine. Imo, a dominant who insists on monitoring his/her submissive's correspondence with others is, ipso facto , insecure.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/7/2009 9:32:01 PM)
*~ Fast Reply ~* I don't understand jealousy. I don't think I've ever experienced it. I'm proud when beth is lusted after. I love displaying her in photos and in public and realize that in doing so, people will contact her. So be it! Go for it! We only have one profile between us, but anyone should feel free to contact beth as much as they like. I welcome anyone to email, chat, whatever. Most times when we're contacted, we'll provide direct emails and IM name just for that purpose. The only thing I don't tolerate is insult to our relationship or either of us as individuals. she'll been asked for many things, some are quite amusing. We've responded to every email we've received; even the guy who asked to be castrated; and we're still anxiously awaiting for the guy we invited to relocate in order to live in our crawl space, be our chef, chauffeur, house-cleaner, and serve as our collective toilet. However, if he doesn't get here soon, I think he was crawling from somewhere in Arkansas, we're going to repost the position. If anyone can contact beth and offer her something she's interested in doing - I wouldn't stand in the way. Meanwhile - I'm a sadist and appreciate, and take advantage of the opportunities commonly provided by the attempts. beth has no restriction regarding who she can contact, or reply. she tells me about it, often they come through me first. That's the other side of the issue. Many times, beth corresponds with people, male and female, who are truly interested in getting a reference from the perspective she has within our relationship. Not a right or wrong way, just a reference; one of many that they should get. If an ongoing correspondence results I do my best to encourage it, because disclosing her life serves to deepen beth's understanding of it, especially when its challenged, as it often is. If you 'own' someone, how can you be jealous of someone expressing appreciation of it? I'm possessive, and very protective. I appreciate her worth and value. she's 'priceless'; I'll toss you the keys to my car and house, long before I toss you the 'keys' to beth. But I can, and I do; without jealously.

cjan -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 5:59:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf 1) I keep my slave as property without rights, so there are no rights to respect. 2) She has privileges, and one of them is a certain amount of online time. It is my time to give. 3) Your opinion would be incorrect as an absolute, most absolutes are. 4) As far as privacy goes, my property has none, even going to piss or crap she must ask permission. 5) Control is different in each dynamic, some are more strict than others, and if it works then there are no problems. quote: ORIGINAL: cjan Imo, adults, of either gender, whether submissive, slave or whatever way they choose to self identify, don't need a protector who monitors their online activities. Sure, there are a lot of jerks out there who either don't read profiles, ignore them, send unsolicited pics and rude e-mails, etc., however, the subs that are not "taken" seem to find ways to deal with these realities without need of a censor. I have respect for peoples' privacy and freedom to socialize and communicate with whom they wish, online or not. I find it as unacceptable to read another person's correspondence as I do if someone were to read mine. Imo, a dominant who insists on monitoring his/her submissive's correspondence with others is, ipso facto , insecure. 1) Obviously, we have different points of view regarding human beings. 2) I deliberately noted my opinion as such, not as an "absolute". 3) I can't be bothered by a grown woman asking me if she can tinkle or go potty. 5) Dynamics are , of course, different in each relationship. Definitions of what "works" may vary. Imo , there is no problem as long as no one is being harmed . My comments here and in my previous post are not meant to criticize your or anyone's point of view. I simply , obviously, see some things, at least, differently than you do.

DesFIP -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 6:36:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub shrugs I guess I don't believe that people who are so disrespectful would actually care about any particular line your profile. If it's your experience that it cuts things down, I'm glad for you but we just don't believe it would be so effective as to be worth him having to check my mail for me. I haven't had much problem on cme, but by the time I came here I was smart enough to list my age as 80 which did cut down on the received mail. But I got an awful lot of nasty mail back when b.com allowed free email between members. As I said, he didn't tell me to add the line. I did so on my own and yes, it did lessen the flow to a point he only had to intervene a couple of times. But he doesn't check my mail. The point of saying he does, in large letters first thing, is so these types think he will and move on elsewhere.

Evility -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 10:20:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper That's a great metaphor which makes me appreciate the filter mechanic, thank you. It's a great metaphor if you bought K.I.T.T from David Hasselhoff. Then your car can think and talk and drive away on its own. My car cannot do these things but my submissive can think and talk and click the X and hit the block button. I get the whole email limitation thing from a control perspective. I don't do it but I can understand it. The thing I don't get is that putting some notice in a profile that emails from dominants are subject to approval only really impacts folks who choose to abide by it and who largely are not the problem. By and large it's not going to impact the rude and obnoxious that are the real targets and who are likely to ignore it anyway.

Aynne88 -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 10:46:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Do you guys reallly get that swamped by email from doms here even though you're taken? Seriously...since I put "taken" in my profile, I may get less than 10 emails a day which are mostly from malesubs who don't even speak English or people who already know me from before and I still chat with occasionally. 10 emails are pretty easy to delete without even a response. The rest get snippy remarks, shared with Master and still deleted lol Anyway...that's my hijack for the day I am going to try and be really clear, I apparently am not. No, I am not swamped with emails now, but upon joining like every other person with a vagina I was. Nothing special about it. I spent way too much time either getting irritated or being offended by cock shots and ignorance. I have a short fuse. Sir decided to route them to spam and told me to ignore them. Why dear god why is that such a shocking revelation? When I perv profiles I see that far more than not on taken females. Not one time did I imply that I was incapable of block, delete or ignore. Do you make all of the decisions in your M/s relationship? I don't by a long shot. Especially over something so totally inconsequential as online strangers and their emails. I am not trying to sound snippy, but for christ sake, for something so simple people are projecting the fuck out of this.

littlewonder -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 10:49:18 AM)
Aynne88, my responses were not in response to yours. They were general thoughts from me to the op's topic. If you felt they were geared towards you, they weren't. If it works for you both..great and good luck to you both.

Aynne88 -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 10:59:50 AM)
Yeah I know Merc, yours was a fast reply but I am still going to address it. Huge huge huge line between jealous of someone expressing appreciation of your partner and tossing them the keys to the palace. How on earth can you relate to my relationship when I find the very idea of Him allowing another man to touch me as the death knell in our relationship? No more than I can relate to yours and the idea that you enourage beth to fuck others. That is anathema to me. The day that either one of us wants another intimately is the day we are done. Jealous? Oh hell yes I am jealous. I will take a woman down if she steps over the line. Might give her a warning shot, depends on my mood and the time of the month. [;)] If it works for you fabulous, but can we all stop this bullshit posturing that a free for all open talk to flirt with sleep with others is the only way to prove security and that any other way is insecure, fragile and doomed? My 1st relationship was monogamous as well and made it 19 years ending only because we realized that we were better off as friends and were just too young to start with, so obviously it works for many. It really is a lot of condescending garbage. I am thrilled that you share beth, it doesn't make it any more real or true or valid than my relationship, nor any more secure. That archaic oft used put down is tired. quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth *~ Fast Reply ~* I don't understand jealousy. I don't think I've ever experienced it. I'm proud when beth is lusted after. I love displaying her in photos and in public and realize that in doing so, people will contact her. So be it! Go for it! We only have one profile between us, but anyone should feel free to contact beth as much as they like. I welcome anyone to email, chat, whatever. Most times when we're contacted, we'll provide direct emails and IM name just for that purpose. The only thing I don't tolerate is insult to our relationship or either of us as individuals. she'll been asked for many things, some are quite amusing. We've responded to every email we've received; even the guy who asked to be castrated; and we're still anxiously awaiting for the guy we invited to relocate in order to live in our crawl space, be our chef, chauffeur, house-cleaner, and serve as our collective toilet. However, if he doesn't get here soon, I think he was crawling from somewhere in Arkansas, we're going to repost the position. If anyone can contact beth and offer her something she's interested in doing - I wouldn't stand in the way. Meanwhile - I'm a sadist and appreciate, and take advantage of the opportunities commonly provided by the attempts. beth has no restriction regarding who she can contact, or reply. she tells me about it, often they come through me first. That's the other side of the issue. Many times, beth corresponds with people, male and female, who are truly interested in getting a reference from the perspective she has within our relationship. Not a right or wrong way, just a reference; one of many that they should get. If an ongoing correspondence results I do my best to encourage it, because disclosing her life serves to deepen beth's understanding of it, especially when its challenged, as it often is. If you 'own' someone, how can you be jealous of someone expressing appreciation of it? I'm possessive, and very protective. I appreciate her worth and value. she's 'priceless'; I'll toss you the keys to my car and house, long before I toss you the 'keys' to beth. But I can, and I do; without jealously.

Jeptha -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 11:27:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper ...The apparent discrepancy is resolved by me not viewing online creatures as any sort of threat. I'll give a "shout out" to the insecure! I don't think insecurity itself is a problem; how it is expressed and how it is dealt with can be, though. Insecurity itself I think is only human. And therfore shouldn't be a problem. As long as it's only occasional and not a chronic condition, I guess. What it usually signals is a lack of clear understanding. Seen in that light, it's actually not such a bad thing. I've had all kinds of varied experience with things like this in the past, but I want to try and keep this reasonably short ~ I'll just say that if I had a sub partner who was on here, I probably would be more comfortable monitoring her messages. Would I make correspondents come through me? I don't think so; but in light of what Steel and others have said, I wouldn't necessarily say that I would never do it.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 12:41:08 PM)
Jeptha, I see insecurity as a chink in the armor. The armor is the relationship and the chink is a lack of trust. It can be a small chink, and it can be in an area which doesn't matter, but it's still there. I understand no construct is perfect, but I hammer out these flaws wherever I can. I suppose I'm insecure about my insecurities?

Lynnxz -> RE: Jealous Owners? (3/8/2009 1:53:17 PM)
Aynne, I'm not sure why you're looking at fast replies, and taking them so personally. No one is really directing their replies to you, I'm not sure why you are so worked up.

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