So who DOES like chat requests?

So who DOES like chat requests? (Full Version)

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pinnipedster -> So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 12:37:22 AM)
I've noticed, in reading through the profiles of Dominant women, that a very large number have a line or paragraph saying: "Please no chat requests! I'm not interested in that!" This is fine by me personally, as I am not particularly interested in that either...but it makes me wonder if there are any Dominant women who do enjoy getting chat requests and respond to them. I suppose if there are any who don't mind doing so occasionally, they still won't answer here, as it would probably be seen as an open invitation, so it's probably a silly question to ask. :) Still, it makes one wonder...

Lynnxz -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 5:50:00 AM)
Heh, I blocked all chat requests. First, CM's chat thing is horrible... second, all you ever get is the stupid little wankers anyway. I suppose you'd be better off just waiting for her to send you her screen name for yahoo or something. :)

CatdeMedici -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 6:58:21 AM)
All of the requests I get are from someone I don't know, I find it rude and annoying--just as I do with an of the IM applications I have.

tornaway -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 7:12:12 AM)
The chat feature can be a great way to quickly find out more about a prospective sub . However for me , that's only after some sort of email rapport has been established , and some potential commonalities have been discovered . To approach me initially with a chat request will yield a denial ... [:'(]

MzticStormz -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 8:03:33 AM)
I blocked chat because I don't like to sit on the computer and wait for reponses back and forth it is like non-consentual bondage to me! it's time consuming where as emails can be answered on my own time when I have a moment or two.

strangedesire -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 8:22:49 AM)
Dominant women get a lot of attention, and it's harder and more time consuming to filter out people in chat than it is to filter out people by email. For that reason alone, I suspect that very few women looking to meet people in real life are going to engage people who randomly ask to chat with them. People who are just looking for internet wank fodder, on the other hand, may love chatting, but those people seem to be predominantly male.

thetammyjo -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 4:46:51 PM)
I'll only "chat" with someone I know and it would never be on a site like Collarme... if I know that that well we can pick up the phone to chat or do it in some other fashion.

PanthersMom -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 9:46:08 PM)
chat is for friends, getting to know you emails are for new ppl. i can't use the chat feature here and i prefer keeping my IM's for family and close friends. PM

Vendaval -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 9:52:33 PM)
Usually the chat requests I receive here are one line spam from complete strangers. My OS seems to not be compatable with the CM chat function because it freezes every time.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/8/2009 11:15:10 PM)
I agree with many of the comments made by previous posters. I have disabled the chat feature here on Collarme because I was tired of being bombarded by invitations from complete strangers who were in no way what I am seeking. Some were looking for wank fodder. Some were half-way across the world or young enough to be my son. Others were too lazy to compose a letter of introduction and figured that a chat invitation was a short cut to getting in contact with a Domme. If a prospective sub sends a letter of introduction containing the information I request in my profile, and is in line with what I am seeking, I will often extend an invitation to chat elsewhere after we have exchanged some e-mail. I consider that a good way to get to know each other and very worthwhile investment of my time. As far as chatting with every Tom, Dick and Harry who sends an invitation on Collarme, I consider that a total waste of time. Lady Topaz

LadyPact -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 4:46:14 PM)
I very much agree with MysticFireTopaz. I have a pretty standard procedure for the getting to know someone phase. It's only after a few rounds of email exchange that I'm willing to move to chat. In two years on this site, I've only given My actual chat information to less than ten submissive males that post or used to post on these forums. The bar is set pretty high. Edited for an "oooppps."

Huntertn -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 7:54:20 PM)
OK..just to be sure I have this right..for subs your not into chat..but friends and family you are..hhmm..and for a sub to introduce themselfs..its either emails or not at all? [notice here I'm talking online only] I assume that meeting them in person..maybe at a group meeting is again another subject. I've noticed that most of the ladies responding have partners or even mult-parthers..I wonder if any of you didn't have partners would any of that change ? Now remember..I asking..not picking a fight here..grins..cause I'm thinking the op here is wondering how a male sub ever gets to talk to you'all..and I think he asked a very good question a lot of other male subs would enjoy knowing..and No, I'm not a male sub..but like him I do wonder...but it seems online isn't a real way to do that at all....

DavanKael -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 7:59:01 PM)
At thispointin my internet usage, I only chat with people I know. When I first got on-line (1996), I was all about chat rooms and such while my ex- was deployed for a year. It was a safe, novel diversion. Lost its shine when my guy got home. Again, any IM programs I use would only be for folks I already know. Davan

Lockit -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 8:01:19 PM)
I don't have a partner and I refuse to do chat until after I have enough connection or knowledge to know the guy isn't going to go all sexual on me. I don't like wasting my time in chat with one person when I could be multitasking with a few... isolated to one, if I don't know anything about him. Most who have gotten me into chat earlier and why I made this rule... wanted to play kinky online. No thank you. If they can't talk to me through email... I can't talk to them period. They rush it... and I walk. When I met someone elsewhere... they rarely rush over... don't even say hello and present themselves for a chat. There are steps to chatting anywhere and without a hello... just.. come chat with me... in person or online... they are getting a quick no!

SomethingCatchy -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 8:16:24 PM)
I don't do chat because the majority ruined it for the few. When I met my boy he emailed me, we exchanged personal emails after a bit, and then moved on to chat and phone after meeting in person the first time. I prefer it to be that way rather than having someone shoving questions about my sex life at me.

LadyPact -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 8:41:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Huntertn OK..just to be sure I have this right..for subs your not into chat..but friends and family you are..hhmm..and for a sub to introduce themselfs..its either emails or not at all? [notice here I'm talking online only] I assume that meeting them in person..maybe at a group meeting is again another subject. I've noticed that most of the ladies responding have partners or even mult-parthers..I wonder if any of you didn't have partners would any of that change ? Now remember..I asking..not picking a fight here..grins..cause I'm thinking the op here is wondering how a male sub ever gets to talk to you'all..and I think he asked a very good question a lot of other male subs would enjoy knowing..and No, I'm not a male sub..but like him I do wonder...but it seems online isn't a real way to do that at all.... I'm not sure if this was in response to Me or not. Sometimes that "in reply to" thing is misleading. Going on the online only, you pretty much summed it up for Me. As for family, as I think you're aware, chat is the primary option right now. That's a whole other thing not related to this site in anyway. (They do both have profiles here.) As for friends, well, how do you think they became friends in the first place? It was usually something in common on the forums that led to an email, which led to another, and so on. I've cyber met a lot of folks this way. For male subs, it's similar. I like having the opportunity to get some sense of them who they are through the forums. Intelligence, sense of humor, protocol (yes, that is a form of criteria for some), and other qualities that I'm attracted to. (I'm probably going to get some flack for that last part.) I actually find the forums a great way to get a feel for a person, before they are specifically addressing Me. A quick check of My chat list to get the specific number of those who made it to chat is exactly eight. One is My current sub. One is a past sub. One I had under consideration at one time. One is a male sub who I happen to consider one of My favorite chat buds. That number doesn't include those I've met in meatlife at events. That's actually My preferred way of meeting someone. I'm more than willing to have someone introduce themselves to Me in that kind of setting. In public, around people that I know. The methods I've listed here, I feel have been very successful for Me. YMMV.

pinnipedster -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 11:04:28 PM)
I should perhaps clarify by saying that I fully understand why so many would turn down chat requests from strangers. What I wonder is if the people (I assume most are men) who send out such requests often, ever get positive responses. So many women seem to find it necessary to stress that they won't answer such requests that I presume they get many of them. Presumably some women must respond to them, or people would eventually get the idea and stop sending them....(or so you would think). It was just kind of a random question. I certainly didn't mean to ask anyone to defend their policy, though of course any comments are welcome. It just occurred to me to wonder if there were actually any ladies out there who actually enjoyed getting such requests.

LadyPact -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/9/2009 11:16:06 PM)
I'm not sure that's a good assumption. Form letters don't work. They send them anyway. The self degrading emails don't work (I'm a lowly worm.) They send them anyway. Mails looking for wank fodder don't work. They keep coming. Cock shots Obviously haven't read the profile. Writing people who specify "women only." It still keeps coming, even when the methods obviously don't work.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/10/2009 11:42:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinnipedster It was just kind of a random question. I certainly didn't mean to ask anyone to defend their policy, though of course any comments are welcome. It just occurred to me to wonder if there were actually any ladies out there who actually enjoyed getting such requests. I have run across a few profiles in my travels from Dominant Women inviting people to hit them up for a chat, but very few. They must actually enjoy getting chat requests or they wouldn't say that in their profile. They do exist, but there don't seem to be very many of them. Lady Topaz

MaamJay -> RE: So who DOES like chat requests? (3/10/2009 6:28:58 PM)
I'm not quite as instantly NO about chat requests as some of the other Dommes here. Depends a bit for Me whether I have time at that time. Sometimes I've accepted and in a nice short space of time have been able to work out that this guy isn't suitable for Me. Might have taken 6 emails over 3 weeks otherwise. Others I've responded to, and while I've realised they wouldn't become Mine (in another country for eg), if they've had sensible questions to ask, I've enjoyed the chat and ended on a good note. What I do hate is when I've said I don't have time to chat and they keep hounding Me with another request every few mins! I might be onsite responding to a personal email and not wanting to chat on to someone else. So to answer the OP, I take chat requests on their merits at the time. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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