insults in the mail as first contact? (Full Version)

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thetammyjo -> insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 3:34:22 PM)

I just received a very strange note in my box on this board.

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?

I put this individual on "block" but I also sent a copy of his note and a formal complaint to one of the moderators. I don't know if a complaint means anything on this board but I did it anyway.

Very surprised by the entire thing.

I personally don't send nasty notes to people in their mail boxes on here (or generally elsewhere for that matter). I don't know understand the thinking behind it.



Loraith -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 3:40:26 PM)

There was a person on here recently who appeared to be very bitter toward CM. She (I believe it was a 'she') began sending nasty emails to people...much along the lines of the one you received. Dunno if it's the same person, but you can look at the thread titled something like 'why are there so many bitchy people?' to find out.



michaelGA -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 3:51:40 PM)

pardon me for saying this, but some people on CM can be cruel and insensitive to others. i know...some people here have been a bit bitchy with me due to some of my depressive outbursts.

where are the caring people located at?



MadameDahlia -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 4:10:12 PM)

I'm going to guess that the man or woman who wrote to you (thetammyjo) was insanely bored and doesn't have much of a social life... perhaps not much of a life at all.

The person in question gets his/her jollies from insulting various people so as to try to make the people he/she contacts feel just as miserable as he/she is. Or maybe it's just some bored snot with way too much time on his/her hands.



brightspot -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 4:24:22 PM)

quote:

I just received a very strange note in my box on this board.

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I find it hard to believe tammyjo that you have been here this long and haven't heard
this subject discussed at infinitum, ad nauseum and have heard all the reason's why....

You were probably contacted by a Teen or HNG, I wouln't take it personally, or be upset by it.

Tuffin' up that skin. I think you would have done that by now[;)].

*Brightspot



seaturtle50 -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 4:40:52 PM)

Why are there sad, sick and/or extremely unhappy and hurtful people in the world? There just are. And misery loves company. The really sad part is that the sender of the message probably sees himself or herself as a really together and well developed individual. Probably even thinks they are a kind person. Too funny!

I like to remind myself that just because someone may call me a big, overstuffed chair, I neither feel like one, or become one.

"Hurting people hurt people"

[:D]



stef -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 5:09:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

pardon me for saying this, but some people on CM can be cruel and insensitive to others. i know...some people here have been a bit bitchy with me due to some of my depressive outbursts.

Just a thought, but if you didn't turn every thread you posted in into a personal pity party, perhaps people might be more willing to cut you some slack.

~stef



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 5:50:58 PM)

quote:

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.
Has this happened to others?
I'm sorry it happened to you. I'm surprised it's only your first time, and hope you won't get too many more of the type, but my guess is you probably will, so best to find a way to cope and dispose of it quickly. M



talmar -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 6:17:26 PM)

I think that is a very classless thing to do. And I am sorry that happened to you.



tasha_tart -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 7:03:38 PM)

I've had the same thing...hate mail from a sender who blocked me so I couldn't reply.

I really can't understand the mindset of someone who sends these sorts of things, but I'd say there is absolutely no reason to take them personally.

Tasha



Smythe -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 7:33:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I just received a very strange note in my box on this board.

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?

I put this individual on "block" but I also sent a copy of his note and a formal complaint to one of the moderators. I don't know if a complaint means anything on this board but I did it anyway.

Very surprised by the entire thing.

I personally don't send nasty notes to people in their mail boxes on here (or generally elsewhere for that matter). I don't know understand the thinking behind it.





tammyjo, it's a sad fact that people will behave worse when they believe they can remain anonymous.
I think part of what you're asking though, is why would someone even expend the effort to do a random unkind thing? so.... must be a teenager that someone let out of its cage :)
It's clearly nothing personal.

best
Smythe





thetammyjo -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 8:12:08 PM)

Thanks for everyone's replies. I actually didn't take it personally because I don't know this person, have never seen them post anything, and they don't know me.

I've seen threads about being being insulting when their initial approach is rejected or ignored and insults tossed about on threads.

I just didn't see one about an initial contact being insulting and given that this was a first to me both here and frankly anywhere in the several years I've been in the public scene, I was and am quite curious as to the reasoning behind it.

Of course people have attempted to insult me or be mean to me in later contacts. Its all an attempt however because unless I have a history with someone, their comments don't mean that much to me.

Perhaps I've been lucky? Or naive?

It is very disappointing to find out that others receive such insulting and rude initial contacts. *sigh*



Evanesce -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 9:05:31 PM)

quote:

It was a one-liner that read "ur fat and ugly. i would never be sub to you. id shit on you though".

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I know of one other person on this site, as well as myself, who got the same one-liner of "Wow, r u ugly" from the same person. I mentioned it to Master, and His reaction was the same as yours. Why would someone even take the time to DO that? We've decided the individual must really need to boost their own self-image, if they have to resort to insulting total strangers.




subtlesubie -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/22/2006 11:06:41 PM)

quote:

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I wouldn't give it too much credence. Remember, you are talking about the same species that gave us the holocaust, Hiroshima, 9-11, rape of Manchuria, Armenian genocide, Rawanda... (etc)


Seems to me, one of us might be capable of sending an impolite message over email.



MstrssPassion -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/23/2006 7:38:17 AM)

quote:

thetammyjo: I've seen threads about being being insulting when their initial approach is rejected or ignored and insults tossed about on threads.

I just didn't see one about an initial contact being insulting


Oh, plenty of us get them, but as it was already suggested, most of us just shirk them off & move on.

Welcome to the IEIC (initial email insult club)



FTopinMichigan -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/23/2006 8:18:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?


I think most of us have probably gotten them at one time or another. Mostly I think it's someone that I've turned down before, as the date of signing up to CM would be that day, or the day before. (I always view the profile prior to opening e-mail)

I feel it's either kids playing on line, or a very VERY immature person that is intent on "playing" that way. It is their own little perverted fetish to "hit and run." They probably only have contact with folks through their antics online. AND, if they see posts like this one, talking about their antics, it probably just fuels them.

I do know it can be disturbing, but it doesn't warrant much thought, except to hit 'delete.'

K



fergus -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/23/2006 9:31:53 AM)

*sigh*

Some folk just have the bad combination of too much time and too much anger.

fergus



MissA -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/23/2006 2:08:02 PM)

Don't sweat it...idiots will be idiots.

I was once contacted by a male submissive who went on and on about my beautiful eyes and how I was a Goddess and he'd do anything to kneel at my feet...yadda yadda yadda. When I told him "no thanks" he replied back with:

"Well you look like you have a fat face!"

Real mature [;)]

~Ms. A~



UtopianRanger -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/23/2006 10:51:44 PM)

quote:

I'm very curious as to why someone would feel the need to send a note at all to someone they did not feel attraction to.

Has this happened to others?

Why would someone do this?



Wow... I don't think it was someone that visits the board, because your posts are always friendly, on topic, and non-controversial -- It's too bad there's chit-heads out there like that...

Just a side note.... If by the slimmest of chances any guy from Oregon { Dom or Sub} ever harasses you, don't hesitate to message me -- I'd love to talk to him.... ; }


- The Ranger



ModeratorThree -> RE: insults in the mail as first contact? (1/24/2006 1:02:49 AM)

quote:

Why would someone do this?

I put this individual on "block" but I also sent a copy of his note and a formal complaint to one of the moderators. I don't know if a complaint means anything on this board but I did it anyway.


There are people in this world that seek attention, any attention. If you reply you feed them, if they block you so you cannot reply they get some sort of rush from it.

This is a common occurance, and we do take it seriously. If we find that members send out numerous email for the sake of being insultive or hateful they lose the ability to send email. Same with the Nigerian or other scams.

The best thing you can do is remind yourself that the world is full of idiots, and while they were entertaining themselves with you they left someone else alone for a few moments.

You should read some of my mail ; )

Mod3



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