RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (Full Version)

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RealSub58 -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/10/2009 1:16:37 PM)

chamberqueen,
 
CP has answered my inquiries on the other side, so when I read your reply, I says to myself.... I hadn't thought of it that way.
 
In the ways that you used the word gift in your post,
can equally be said by a dominant about his submissive.
 
Thank you



kallisto -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/10/2009 7:01:11 PM)

chamberqueen's post was superb.  [:)]   I too believe that dominance is a gift, just as I posted that I feel that submission is a gift as well. It's the giving of the person that makes it a gift.   Any Dom can bark out orders, but it takes that gift of His dominance to make me  who I am.  If we're in tandem with each other, then we are giving each other ourselves, to compliment the D/s relationship.   Without His gift of dominance, my submission doesn't mean anything.  



CelticPrince -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 4:05:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

From the view of both sides of the slash; how do you look at Dominance

I see it as personality; part of a person's psyche.


Mist,

Well that it is of course, but when given can it be looked on as a gift/

CP



IrishMist -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 4:16:58 AM)

quote:

Mist,

Well that it is of course, but when given can it be looked on as a gift/

Maybe in your corner of the world CP, but not in mine.




feydeplume -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 4:58:15 AM)

Well just for you then, I will keep the morning espresso rollin'. Plus I don't want to misuse the "gift" I was given *snort*

A talented person on any side is a treasure to have in your life, especially if they have integrity and a big toy and toll box. And yes I am talking about having a multitude of skills more than a plethora of whips.



tazzygirl -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 9:14:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

~FR~

I think the whole "submission is a gift" is horse pucky! You aren't giving anything you aren't getting something in return for.

I submit to my partner because he is willing to accept the responsibility and in exchange offers his domination. Guess what if he quits doing his part then my part becomes reduntant and vice versa.

I wish people would quit looking on submitting as if they were offering up their precious virginity or something.

Rarely will you see someone giving something of themselves with out something in return. Even if the only thing they are getting out of it is the pure pleasure of submitting or doing for others.

Personally for me, if the Dom starts being lax in his structure, I find I tend to slack off alot on my side as well.

Guess I'm not really the "give everything of myself freely" kind of girl. For me it's a beneficial exchange in a loving relationship so that the needs and desires of all parties are met to a point.

There is no such thing as a perfectly equal exchange. I believe it ebbs and flows. like every other part of a relationship.

For those that claim their submission is a gift to their dominant.. I ask, "How long would you keep submitting if you got nothing in return?" Then you would be taking your gift back no? If it's something you take back then it's not really a gift then in my opinion.

Dominance is not a gift either, it's just the other side of the exchange of needs. Nothing more nothing less. Yes I treasure the work he puts into our relationship by maintaining the controlling influence because I know it's alot of work but it's not a gift and never will be.


i couldnt agree more.  my submission is damn hard work for any Dominant.  learning him is hard work for me.  nothing anywhere close to a gift in that.  submission needs Dominance to flourish... Dominance needs submission, just not as much... lol.. so they say.



LaTigresse -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 9:23:18 AM)

To call it a gift would be like saying.......your mother mothering you was a gift to you.

It could be applied to any relationship. But being dominant, in and of itself, is nothing special. How we handle ourselves within that dominance is the key.

Just like the mother thing.......there are great mothers, so-so mothers, crappy mothers, and downright scary mothers. They are still mothers and still mothered, in their own way, their children. My own was better than many, but I wouldn't wish her on anyone I cared about. Being a mother didn't make her a wonderful person. Therefor her mothering wasn't a gift at all.



allthatjaz -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 10:12:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

I take a somewhat unpopular view on the idea of gifts - they don't have to come in boxes and they don't have to be tangible as I think of several things off-hand that can be given but don't apply. Such as houses and wedding services (since mine is on the brain).

I believe that many things are gifts. His presence in my life and therefore his domination, his love and everything else is a precious gift. The love of my friends is a beautiful gift and I hope that I give as much to others as they do to me.


Aquatic,

But why do you consider that to be unpopular?

C P


If you get bored, search some previous threads on gifts. There have a lot people saying very loudly that the only things that count as gifts come in boxes with pretty bows and that can't be taken away. I don't agree with that because a puppy, for example, can be given to someone. But if they don't take care of it, the dog will be removed from their care.


Ah but the difference here is, the dog has no choice just as a child born to bad parents has no choice. As consenting adults we do have a choice and therefore I could call Dominance/submission no more a gift than being able to work for the company who employs me. I chose to work for them, they chose to employ me. I chose to work hard and dedicate myself to them and they chose to pay me a decent salary. They can choose to make me redundant and I can choose to leave of my own accord.
I know emotions play a big part in this. I for example don't want to dominate someone I am not dominantly attracted to (perhaps thats selfish but then life is a selfish act) and I certainly would never submit to someone who I wasn't physically attracted to and worse still, I would never submit or try to dominate someone who clearly was not attracted to me. I will only give myself to him if he is willing to give himself to me (mutual exchange on an emotional level).
So my feelings on this are... it is a giving and its a taking of many things on many levels.



WestBaySlave -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 10:46:37 AM)

  It is a gift to me, and I hope my submission is equally a gift to the man I'm with. Even if we have naturally dominant and submissive impulses inside ourselves, focusing them on another person, taking the time to make the relationship and the dynamic work is a gift, and one given without any guarantees.





LaTigresse -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 10:53:08 AM)

To me.......saying either is a gift is like.....comparing it to something in a bad romance novel or really cheesy, made for TV, chickflick on Lifetime or Oxygen.



feydeplume -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 11:03:19 AM)

or like treating a box of Hersey's chocolates the same as a box of Godiva chocolates....


(PMS AND ESPRESSO, for those of you keeping track of my wackiness)



LaTigresse -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 11:13:05 AM)

I gave up PMS for menopause, but mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm espressoooo.



DavanKael -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 11:17:59 AM)

I value anyone with whom I am in a reationship and I holdmyself to certain responsibilities and have certain baseline expectations of them. 
  Davan



feydeplume -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 11:25:10 AM)

according to the blood work (and the lack of blood, if ya know what i mean) looks like i am giving up PMS as well. All i can say is WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
25 years of it is enough for me!



LaTigresse -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 11:39:29 AM)

I don't miss it at all.

The menopause thing hasn't been as big a deal as I was prepared for.

My gift of dominance has been a bit.......more evil[:D].........at times. But I am good with that.



feydeplume -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 11:49:04 AM)

I hate the night sweats, but those are just about over and i LOVE the lack of mess and fuss. And yeah a new Toppy-ness is sort of coming to the surface. 



WestBaySlave -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 1:47:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

To me.......saying either is a gift is like.....comparing it to something in a bad romance novel or really cheesy, made for TV, chickflick on Lifetime or Oxygen.


If I ruled out saying something because it had been used in a bad romance novel or cheesy tv, I'd never say "I love you" to anyone ever again. ( In fact, love itself such heavily overused and cliched word I can see where people might not want to use it all and relegate themselves to hipper emotions, like Schadenfreude or ennui. [:D] )





LaTigresse -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 1:48:14 PM)

Hey, if it works for you great. 



domiguy -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 3:19:41 PM)

Christ!...You subs and your gifts. They are cheap and useless and have no value whatsoever in the real world.  Dump them in the Goodwill box where they belong.  I can just imagine your submission sitting on some dirty shelf next to a pair of dingy tube socks being sold for a nickel. 

You. You. ....(don't you ever call me a you-you.) This is exactly what is wrong with so many that participate in the fantasy land on the Isle of bdsm.  You continually try and  wrap this shit up and glamorize it to a point of nausea.

I didn't just take a dump, I released some "subdoo."

That isn't a zit...It's a "love bump."  

I understand that some have some crazy need top put an extra cherry on the top of this fucking sundae.  To make it more than it is. To fill the void, to give your life something important, something fictional.  

If it is a gift, than just call me the fucking Christmas Dom!!!!...Cause I love fucking presents.  I am magical. I am the Dom that can cure all of your ills and heart breaks!!!....It's not your fault.  It's just that you suffer from that nasty little stress hormone cortisol and cortisol increases belly fat. That's why you can go on a diet, lose weight, but still look thick around the middle. The gift of my Domliness removes cortisol from your body. I work better than Relacore. That is truly my gift to you.

Come back to Earth.  better yet, stay in orbit in your oxygen deprived environment.  Looking forward to your reentry.



DavanKael -> RE: The Gift ofDominance?? (3/11/2009 3:33:33 PM)

Domiguy, Your posts always entertain but I am in just the perfect mood to say that I think you may be my new personal hero!  :>  ROFL!  Hey, wait, is that a gift?! 
I think that true devotion (Regardless of power dynamics or not) is precious but it's also, imo, what we're made to do and be, so there's a duality. 
Lest I get too philosophical, though, scroll back up to Domiguy's post; genius and freakin' funny!  :>
  Davan



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