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Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 5:14:34 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I have had my first experence with someone saying i am told to be doing bdsm for sites. Yet some of other prodommes or other has all ages on their sites

I feel there is a thread of discrimination of late what is your take and how do we fight back  I guess there is a age thing lol
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 5:38:51 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		One person = a huge problem and you want to rally people to fight back?

Admit it, you just won't let the age thing go. You make it into a problem for yourself.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 5:46:58 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		There is a difference between discrimination and preference-if CM refused to allow people with mustaches in a bluegreen hue wearing latex, that's discrimination--if I chose not to take every idiot who professes to want to lick My boots, drink My pee and crawl through dog shit to be collared by me--that's preference.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 5:53:42 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		but when you call someone to old for fun you suck thats bottom line  there is fine line between prefrences and age  i am old school i am admit i do play to altertnitive ways of thinking  but that is choice age is something  you can not change

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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:06:18 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It's not discrimination..it's a preference as others have said.

I don't want to be with someone younger than 30 or older than 45...my preference.

Just like I don't want to be with people of certain attitudes, height, weight, etc...preference.

I'm sure you have your own preferences as well or you'd be with the first person that approached you. Will you be with anyone of any age?

It goes both ways ya know.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:10:31 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldn't be too quick with the 'tough titties' attitude. Apathy is just as bad as enabling. I've seen some comments that could be construed as preference based on peer pressure, rather than actual preference. That might be what he's concerned about, and frankly, so am I.

Look at the TNG groups. Of what I've seen they are averaging 18 to 30. Can you say that's not age discrimination? Their very existence is saying two things. "We are only comfortable with people our own age." and "You are too old to socialize with." I'm okay with the first, I get steamed about the latter. Personally, I think the first is being said while the second is going through thier useless minds.

More often than not, groups like this are established to exclude, rather than include. There's a glaring difference between including and excluding. They also tend to evolve attitudes of hostility toward what is NOT acceptable in the include category over time. What's worse, is that they'll also, eventually if not already, perform recruiting that will be sugar coated to sound like it's such a wonderful thing, never, ever mentioning who is excluded and why.  

I can look at it two ways, if you have an age preference, that's fine, knock yourself out, I have preferences too. However, if  your attitude tends to be exclusionary, we might have an issue on how open minded you really are, and I'd question if it goes deeper than an age bracket.

Granted, my being 41 makes my comments and views suspicious, but once you start to exclude people based on something no one can control, then you're on the slippery slope to very anti-social behavior: bigotry and disrespect. 

Care to create a group based on an idea? Great. Based on a fan club? Fantastic. Books? Go for it! Child care? Outstanding.

Just don't ever be apathetic about something that might bite you on the ass later.

< Message edited by scottjk -- 3/8/2009 6:11:46 PM >

_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:10:35 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:



but when you call someone to old for fun you suck thats bottom line  there is fine line between prefrences and age  i am old school i am admit i do play to altertnitive ways of thinking  but that is choice age is something  you can not change


Ok.. lemme get this straight.... you are allowed to tell us we're too young because you are older and know everything... but no one is allowed to have the opinion that you are too old? And one (1) person having this opinion and informing you one (1) time means that there is an outbreak against the older people in BDSM and that you need to fight back against us young whippersnappers? You haven't been banned from groups, suddenly groups aren't welcoming 16 year olds and ripping up your membership cards. One person stated their opinion one time.

Look, if you can't see the flaws in the reasoning here you really lose the right to state that older equals wiser. Or, at the least, any validity clinging to your arguement is stripped away.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:11:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The only "discrimination" that I see would possibly be in the younger crowd.  It has got to suck as a legal adult knowing that some groups will not permit you to attend due to age.

As for the rest, it is personal preference.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:13:03 PM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

Look at the TNG groups. Of what I've seen they are averaging 18 to 30. Can you say that's not age discrimination? Their very existence is saying two things. "We are only comfortable with people our own age." and "You are too old to socialize with." I'm okay with the first, I get steamed about the latter. Personally, I think the first is being said while the second is going through thier useless minds.



Are you aware that most kink groups are not eighteen plus but twenty-one plus? That TNG was created to fill the gap left by the "wiser adults" who (and I don't blame them considering potential lawsuits) wouldn't take us till we were old enough to drink?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/8/2009 6:20:20 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to scottjk)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:18:39 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Also, let's remember that not all areas have TNG groups.  Only one of four groups that I belong to is 18+.

This I find to be different than those who have a personal preference for those who are not interested in a dynamic with someone 18-20.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:23:41 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

but when you call someone to old for fun you suck thats bottom line  there is fine line between prefrences and age  i am old school i am admit i do play to altertnitive ways of thinking  but that is choice age is something  you can not change


My personal take on this....and I'm older than you.  Stash the tantrum.  Be proud of who and what you are.  Don't let one person ruin your day.  In fact, who cares what one person's opinion is.  What is YOUR opinion?   Do you consider yourself too old for fun?  If not...then what's this gripe about?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:26:05 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

there is fine line between prefrences and age


There is not, except in your mind. Some people don't like yoghurt.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:28:28 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

but when you call someone to old for fun you suck thats bottom line  there is fine line between prefrences and age  i am old school i am admit i do play to altertnitive ways of thinking  but that is choice age is something  you can not change


Sweetie pie, I'm too old for kids meals, I'm too old for student discounts, I'm too old for the kids concert of Nutcracker at Christmas, I'm too old to hang with the young MBA's at work, I've been called a hag, a whore, a c***, been told I should go off and leave the pickings to the young stuff--puhleez, grow a pair will ya? You will always at any given time be too old for someone or too young for another---its preference--suck it up and accept life--one person's crone is another's maiden.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:28:59 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

there is fine line between prefrences and age


There is not, except in your mind. Some people don't like yoghurt.



Actually, there is.

The inability for someone of a certain age group to accompany Me to certain events does weigh in.  A significant part of Me is My expression in the public gathering arena.  Due to certain limitations, not everyone can participate in that.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to antipode)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:39:03 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		Is it possible you might be overreacting just a little?  Personally, I would rather know the reason why I was rejected, even if it was over something I couldn't change.  I don't know anyone who doesn't base their decisions as to who they prefer to hang out with, or not, over their own personal preferences, even if those preferences are discriminatory.  Discrimination has not gone away just because it is illegal to base certain legal issues on it.  It has just gone under cover, & polite society doesn't talk about it.  If someone doesn't want to play with me because I am too old, too young, too blue, too purple, too anything, there are really plenty of others to whom none of that matters.  

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:47:11 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

Look at the TNG groups. Of what I've seen they are averaging 18 to 30. Can you say that's not age discrimination? Their very existence is saying two things. "We are only comfortable with people our own age." and "You are too old to socialize with." I'm okay with the first, I get steamed about the latter. Personally, I think the first is being said while the second is going through thier useless minds.



Are you aware that most kink groups are not eighteen plus but twenty-one plus? That TNG was created to fill the gap left by the "wiser adults" who (and I don't blame them considering potential lawsuits) wouldn't take us till we were old enough to drink?


Oh, I'm aware of it, but I didn't want to exclude any groups. I'm also aware that there are legal differences between states, but I believe that as more to do with alcohol than anything else.

_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:49:19 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

Look at the TNG groups. Of what I've seen they are averaging 18 to 30. Can you say that's not age discrimination? Their very existence is saying two things. "We are only comfortable with people our own age." and "You are too old to socialize with." I'm okay with the first, I get steamed about the latter. Personally, I think the first is being said while the second is going through thier useless minds.



Are you aware that most kink groups are not eighteen plus but twenty-one plus? That TNG was created to fill the gap left by the "wiser adults" who (and I don't blame them considering potential lawsuits) wouldn't take us till we were old enough to drink?


Oh, I'm aware of it, but I didn't want to exclude any groups. I'm also aware that there are legal differences between states, but I believe that as more to do with alcohol than anything else.


I have never attended a play party that cared about age (other than over eighteen) that allowed booze. The only non-TNG group I'm aware of that allows eighteen year-olds is a BDSM-rave that sells alchohol. All the groups I belong to are twenty-one plus and you will be banned if you show up drunk, slightly tipsy or have alcohol on you. From my understanding, this is the common policy.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/8/2009 6:53:08 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to scottjk)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 6:56:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Aquatic, this is where I have to differ with you, and why I am on the fence on the subject.

Many groups utilize the play space in private homes where alcohol is served.  Nobody should be able to tell anyone that they can't have a glass of wine during an event  just because it is group sponsored.  That infringes on the rights of the property owner.

Another thing that prevents some groups from admitting those in the 18-20 age bracket is the fact that many of them schedule road trips to public play spaces.  Most clubs are 21 and up, which means certain members of your group can not go along.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 7:06:41 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what you mean by "discrimination".  This would be patently illegal were it an employment or housing issue.  But it ain't.

Are you suggesting that potential partners should have no say in who chooses them - age, weight, height, race, gender, religion, intellect, sexual preference?  Or are you saying that they should be able to choose based on all criteria EXCEPT age?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Discrimination bdsm style - 3/8/2009 7:06:59 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk
my being 41

Dude.  If you're 41, then you've probably noticed you're one of the younger people at your local munch, or private play party.  It's not as though the 18-30 group took all the young people out of the scene.  They weren't there, or weren't comfortable there, and so now they are manufacturing something that adds to things.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to scottjk)
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