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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 6:18:57 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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I'm definitely not an edge player, and don't seek to play on the edge at all... However, have done one or two things to boys who were intensely ambivalent about them... Very much fun, when that happens on occasion.

M

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Post #: 21

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 6:23:53 AM

StrongSpirit

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They pulled my post because of a one word sentence. I will re-post most of it here.

I consider the following risky/edge play:

Vanilla sex
Marriage
Anything involving bodily fluids of people I know for less than 3 months (and trust)
Doing anything at all with someone I met that day
Play where I am more than 4 ft above the floor (I have a slight fear of heights - but I don't let it control me.)
Doing anything that I have not seen someone else do in person. If I just read about it, it is edge for me.

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Post #: 22

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 7:24:52 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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I like going to the edge then...

You KNOW your close to being there but have to push a little harder then...

Whisper to her...*here we go baby*...

And into a different spiritual realm we.....go...

Nothin` like it....

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Post #: 23

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 7:36:22 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

They pulled my post because of a one word sentence. I will re-post most of it here.

I consider the following risky/edge play:
Vanilla sex
Marriage
Anything involving bodily fluids of people I know for less than 3 months (and trust)
Doing anything at all with someone I met that day
Play where I am more than 4 ft above the floor (I have a slight fear of heights - but I don't let it control me.)
Doing anything that I have not seen someone else do in person. If I just read about it, it is edge for me.

Yes, that was the one. Hopefully, both of us can color within the lines this time.

I would think some of the items on your list would fall more into your personal hard limits, rather than edge play. Where the edge might lie, perhaps, would be you wanting to play with that person you just met that day, coming oh so close to doing it, and only pulling back before the scene begins. Maybe wanting to lick the blood of the person you've only been playing with for two months and twenty seven days and getting your tongue out just a hair away from it.

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Post #: 24

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 8:14:20 AM

LaTigresse

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I've been thinking about this and I don't know where my edge is. I know there are things I refuse to do, both temporarily, due to being unsure of my ability and never ever, due to zero interest.

Aside from that, it's all going to depend. I think like others have said, what to someone else is edge play, isn't really to me. What is others isn't, might be over the edge for me. Breath play is an example of something I am very hesitant to try and consider edgy. I have no burning desire, but both keary and lindsey have done it in the past and enjoyed it. So we discuss it. I am fence sitting at the moment. Time will tell.

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Post #: 25

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 8:26:03 AM

IrishMist

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I don't know if I would call myself a 'defined edge player'.

I like breath play
I like knives
I like guns
I like baseball bats
I like fists
I like open handed slaps
I like kicks
I like punches
I like knowing that blood is spilled, mainly my own

BUT, I like all of these even more when I am unsure of my own survival.

This does not mean that I am looking to see how far I can go before death actually happens; I just like it when violence is the reason behind the use of any of these...I don't want a prepared 'script' that says 'we will do this tonight'. I want it to be spontanaeous...spur of the moment...heat of the moment; in the middle of an argument

I am edgy, but I also think that I walk a very fine line between what is 'good for me' and what is 'deadly'.

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Post #: 26

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 12:02:54 PM

DavanKael

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I've engaged in some activities that involve clear risk (I'm with you, LadyPact: RACK strikes me as more pragmatic than SSC) and I would say that my limits are largely dictated by the circumstance. Some activities, due to known risk or personal wigginess about them would evoke that hind-brain 'click' that takes things to a different level. With one I trust, I am willing to revel there. There are some things that, in contemplation and actuality, I say a resounding 'Hell no' but I dig safety and trust and edge play can be one potential way to accentuate these while calling forth instincts that tell us to fend for ourselves, thus amalgamating impulses most deliciously, if done well. :>
Davan

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Post #: 27

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 12:33:16 PM

Jeptha

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From: Portland, Oregon
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Psychologically, humiliation and objectification are along the outer frontier for me.
I consider that an edge of sorts.
With a physical component, I once had a partner who enjoyed being choked, and I liked exploring that, too. I've enjoyed face slapping on the few occasions when I've done it because, even though we've discussed it and even sort of know it's coming (though not exactly when), it still a little shocking somehow!
As somebody mentioned on another thread, possibly it might not be so much the pain as the intensity that makes it interesting.

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Post #: 28

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 1:25:35 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

With this in mind, where is your edge?

Needles. Always needles through surface skin which is real painful. Needles through the nipple which doesn't hurt so bad until flicked. Needles through breast tissue where I come near to freaking myself out if I am not blindfolded.
I faint usually if I have needles put into me in a medical setting where I cannot eroticise it.
Needle play and D types who can do it beautifully and who love the control within doing it. D types who love to stick pins in wherever they want to stick them in.
It's edges isn't it? The feeling literally of where my edges are.
Ed. to add:
breath play until my throat aches. Oh and being loaned out although the world ain't as safe or sane as it used to be.
Too many edges, way too many. The way that when one limit (edge) is reached, there's another one and another one.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 3/9/2009 1:35:20 PM >

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Post #: 29

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 1:58:51 PM

softness

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I would consider myself an edge player ... not the edgiest player by a long chalk, or the biggest hardest toughtest bottom, but I seek my edge in play and that is where I find my peace "in the eye of the storm".

Where is my edge? ... echoing IrishMist ... when survival is uncertain. We all have a safe seemingly impenetrable place within our heads where we retreat ... I proactively seek to have that place broken open, violently with brute force or skillyfully with infinate care. When that last wall falls, that deepest most intimate bastion of the self, I can face my truest self and look her square in the eye. The last time I was there my life could have been taken ... there was nothing safe or sane about it, the risks were huge, it was dangerous and I would never *ever* support someone I cared for in playing that way. I put a responsibility on the Top that was phenomenal, the potential consequence of the play going wrong was crystal clear to both of us - I would die and he would spend the rest of his life in prison. I am in awe even now that he was willing to consent to that responsibility. Which I suppose is an edge play in itself for Tops.

What takes me to my edge? ... in my opinion all forms of play have an edge - some are very close (breath/blood/guns) some are very distant (chastity) ... Edge play in behaviour also interests me - TPE for instance is an edge.

One thing about Edge players that should also be carefully pointed out and noted .. is not only the risks of the play we engage in now, in this moment, but of the wider implication for seeking that edge. 5 years ago I began experiencing breath play with hands around my throat as I fucked (horny sexy yummy great) this progressed to having air cut off momentarily (delicious thank you evry much) and then for increasingly extended (though obviously brief) periods of time. Now in order to really feel that edge and that battle for survival am close to needing to be choked out entirely. This is unspeakably dangerous and something I would be very wary of doing as a top myself. I have had to consent to greater and greater risk inorder to reach that edge as time has gone on. Which is why it is important for edge players to retrace their steps from time to time, go back to the start and find the inner edges they had left behind,

< Message edited by softness -- 3/9/2009 2:00:58 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 3:31:04 PM

subinchico

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Fascinating, very insightgful and fitting personally! I'm flooded with thoughts! Thank you.

O and scat, I don't ever see myself dealing with. Being murdered by my domme, yes, a turn on. Wow, so I'm already there. Can I go back and how?? DomThoughts or anyones thoughts, any ideas? Sp

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomThoughts

I feel a little bit of a killjoy saying / thinking this, which I don't mean to be, but it struck a chord...

There will always be people in the world who are looking for that next big high, and the best of these bunch have become household names for their daring, there will always be people on the edge of society who go that little further, push that little harder, but there is generally some level of safeguard involved, even if that is nothing but the negative feedback system of pain / fear / whatever else, that stops crazy people from doing very crazy things.

My issue with this, and I agree that it is probably a very small percentage that would be affected like this, is that when two people come together and start playing on the edge as it is put in this thread, it can very easily become a very destructive force, because the negative feedback systems get eroded away and replaced by the positive feedback of urging each other to go further.

Maybe in a more general sense, if you are constantly chasing an edge, if that becomes your kink, then by its nature that can only become more dangerous, but then equally we are all looking for something new and more exciting so maybe that is just all of us.

It just strikes me that explicitely chasing new edges, in these contexts, could be a very dangerous game.

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Post #: 31

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 7:15:32 PM

MzMia

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Thank you for sharing your perspective with me, LadyP.
You are a gracious lady.

I never thought my love of humiliation and degradation would make me an "edge player",
but you are right!
There are many that can't take that form of play, and would prefer knives and needles
instead of humiliation!
You helped make my night!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/9/2009 7:17:11 PM >

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Post #: 32

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 11:01:01 PM

NuevaVida

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I've been to my edge...had a love/hate relationship with it, and now my waters are fairly calm and I like it that way. I guess I'm changing. The things that used to give me a rush now tend to have a negative affect on me. I am finally discovering "softer play" and I'm finding it pretty amazing.

I think I'll stay on softer ground for awhile.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/10/2009 2:13:56 AM

IronBear

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My edge play in the extreme has nothing to do with BDSM in as much that I don't practice it in a BDSM format. bit in involved Dueling with razor sharp rapiers and no body armour, knife combat again with no body armour and such insane activities. I actually need this because in my dotage and with two screwed knees I am unable to get into areas where you never know if you will be alive in the morning...I'm openly an adrenaline junky..

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/10/2009 9:10:14 AM

junecleaver

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People say some of what I like is edgy. But it really has less to do with what I like and more to do with where the Top is leading me. He can lead me to the edge with something as simple as spanking. He just has to create that fear in me that I'm going to 'fall' and bam...there's the edge. Um...how he does that is still sort of something I can't see in the mirror...only a really great partner can.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/10/2009 1:37:10 PM

TranceTara

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Joined: 12/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I've been to my edge...had a love/hate relationship with it, and now my waters are fairly calm and I like it that way. I guess I'm changing. The things that used to give me a rush now tend to have a negative affect on me. I am finally discovering "softer play" and I'm finding it pretty amazing.

I think I'll stay on softer ground for awhile.

I used to love physical edges, but like you NeuvaVida, find that certain things no longer give me that high. In fact, some of the things I used to love now cause me to shut down.

I too am discovering that the "soft", or "subtle" can take me places I once needed a great amount of physical play to reach. These days my body is like a live wire and the gentlest of touches can send ripples thoughout my body. Anything more and I shut down from the overload. (I'd be great for someone who doesn't want to strain themselves physically.) The ground may be soft, but there sure is an intensity in that softness.

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Post #: 36

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/10/2009 2:17:31 PM

MistressSassy66

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I consider Myself an edge player.*** I get the greatest thrills by playing on the edge. I am not a SSC person. I prefer to follow RACK.

"Edge play" as defined in "The New Topping Book" as "found wherever your edge is, whenever things start to feel risky, where you start to feel vulnerable, the edge of the cliff that looks over your personal abyss." To Me, skirting on the edge is not the same as playing with a hard limit. They are completely separate. Rather, the edge is taking someone (or being taken) is about pushing the envelope. Going just a little farther, soaring a little higher, or experiencing something new. It could be pushing the comfort zone or a new twist on a favorite activity.

With this in mind, where is your edge?

*** This post was not generate in any way to offend those who do not participate in edge play. Nobody is better or worse for the activities that they engage in.

I used to have a line drawn in the sand...I took a huge jump over it and
opened Myself upto new things and I am sooooooo glad I did.
I push it further and harder not all the time,but there are days when something comes over Me and I have to try something different,when that happens
I am totally engrossed in what is going on,the outside world ceases to exist.
It's just Me and janet in the dungeon with the radio on,but we dont hear it.

Like for instance I never thought I would enjoy using a knife on him.
Over the weekend I went for it and carved a heart in his thigh... It was
beyond incredible...I think I'm still high from it...

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Post #: 37

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/11/2009 4:09:27 PM

magicescape

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i love edge play, but it changes over time. Master would ask me what things i was scared of and push me until they were no longer freaky. And then He would start all over!

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Post #: 38

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/12/2009 3:24:53 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Before the thread drifts off into the back pages, I wanted to come back and thank everyone for their contributions. Like I said before, there really was no wrong way to answer because it was about wherever your personal edge lies.

I do have to say that I really enjoyed reading some of the responses from those who wrote them from the non top perspective. Those were absolutely fascinating to Me. Thank you for being willing to share so much of yourselves in such great detail.

For those who did write their responses from the top side, I could identify with so much of what you were saying. I want to thank you as well.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 39

RE: Where is your edge? - 3/12/2009 3:41:11 AM

MadameMarque

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For me, it might be the boundary between us. Coming together, over that boundary. Then we can go, together, to a place unseen.

"I For You"
- Luna Sea

"If his love is to be called perverse, then let it be so, for maybe love is too great to be normal, too intense to be sane."

- from a commentary on the film Gekko no Sasayaki aka Moonlight Whispers, http://imdb.com/title/tt0208178/usercomments

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