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KnightofMists -> RE: Grudges and Other stupidity (1/23/2006 7:17:49 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IronBear
Grudges… Hmm I’m not known to hold grudges, real grudges that is. Years ago in RP I’d have a grudge against some character (Not the person on the KB) for months and yet either I’d message him or ring him are he’d contact me and we’d chat leaving our RP characters behind. I don’t think that the Delectable CS was think of that when she posted. So do I carry grudges? Not really. You would have to attack a member of my family and hurt them real time for me to become angry, not pissed off but icy dangerously angry. It only happened twice the first was when Lady Neets and I started RP and one bloke hurt her because she hadn’t separated reality from the fantasy in RP at that time (she soon learned). The person involved found what he had done to her and was on the messenger and email pronto profusely apologizing so it ended up ok. The other was in one of the open fantasy RP rooms in old MSN and one 22 year old punk got into the head of a 14 year old girl and mind fucked her so badly that she jumped from a 4th floor apartment building. The male who did that is still running from several people who want to have serious words, or so they tell me, with him. Why was I personally upset? The girl was one of my God Daughters. I don’t hold a grudge in such cases or even when in life away from cyber space, I take a vengeance oath which remains in force until the matter is addressed to my satisfaction. Grudges take up too much energy to hold just like frowning. Vendettas are another matter entirely. You can get pissed off for a short time or some one just repeatedly annoys you and on the net it is easy to block them out if you must just like avoiding some people in real life.
edited to add: I'd much kill or piss someone off with kindness it is easier and more fun (A better mind fuck).
mmmmm grudges... what is a grudge anyways?
grudge (n) a feeling of deep-seated resentment or ill will
well if this is a grudge then... I can honestly say that I have no resentment towards anyone or ill will towards anyone. I can appreciate in Role Play games etc that people get into certain roles and grudges appear to become part of the game. Sometimes it is just really health competition in the game and I would even say that depending on the character being role-played I would be very disappointed if grudges didn't occur... the best fantasy character role-play is when a person plays the personality of the character as realistically as possible. Makes the game much more fun.
But, life isn't really game is it. I agree with you thou. Intent to harm someone I love is going to get my attention. To be honest I can't say how I would react... since no one has ever intentionally set out to harm someone I deeply love. I would like to think I would respond in that typical protective manner... I am sure most of us would like to think that. But, in truth, how do we know unless we are face with the situation. It also depends on the situation, someone harms one of my children. Do seek out to bring my own justice to them, what about the other children I am responsible for? Sometimes, in these situations we can' act for to act, would actually further harm to the rest of the family. I wouldn't be much good if I was in jail or worse now would I. The kids do need to eat. But, in these sitautions, I can see how resentment and ill-will can begin to fester for some. But, like I said, I never been in the situation so I can' say how I would respond.
Now daily life. I think alot of people make the jump that someone holds a grudge against them becuase they are ignored or isolated. Because, I don't respond to someone... or choose not to interact with someone doesn't reflect a grudge! Often, when I decide that I have no desire to interact with someone.. it is about conflicts of principles and values. It was interesting post on the board about Honesty. In there I noted that the behavior of lying as well as the motivatin or reason behind a lie is an important factor of consideration. But, when i am lied to and the lie is about protecting ones ownself or even worse... to glorify or enhance ones image, well these lies are very difficult for me to accept. Those are very close to me are sure to get one hell of a ride or retribution and it can very much endanger a relationship in these cases. In such situations where the person is close to me, I can forsee that I would feel at the least a sense of resentment and betrayal, but ill-well on the other hand would be not a consideration. In this case, I have been very much lied to by someone very close to me... and I felt a great sense of resentment and betrayal.... I also felt anger to myself, because I kept trying to work past the lies with the person. In the end the relationship failed and I was left with these negative feelings. It actually didn't take long for me to get rid of them.... In the end, I just felt pity for the person... I forgave the person and myself, but I choose not to reconcile with the person. It is not a relationship I ever wish to have... this person needs to change much before I would consider much more than an acquintence relationship. However, someone that is of no consequence or importance to me would not be a big deal. A person that lied to me that has not importance would be quickly dismissed and never to be allowed to get acknowledgement. This not a grudge, for I don't hold resentment or ill-wil... frankly, I am uninterested and uncaring of what the person does or doesn't do. I will of course, beaware of the person and becareful not to expose myself to any unneccessary complications, hence why I would have anything to do with the person. If others wish to interact with them, will that is there right of choice. I will not hold that against them, however, I wouldn't hid to one that talks to me privately why I have nothing to do with a particular individual.
anyways just some random thoughts one a very entertaining thread.
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