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3 Thoughts - 1/22/2006 6:47:32 PM

DameDarkness

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(1) Zero Gravity

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them.

(2) Our Constitution

"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, and it's worked for over 200 years.

And, we're not using it anymore."

(3) Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians .

It creates a hostile work environment.

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Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

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RE: 3 Thoughts - 1/22/2006 9:04:41 PM

windy135

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Wow the first one is just great... haha

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RE: 3 Thoughts - 1/23/2006 12:10:53 AM

CmotDribbler

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thou shalt not lie is not a commandment

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"Better that I devote myself to studying the Other great mystery of the universe; women!"
Doc. Emit Brown

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RE: 3 Thoughts - 1/23/2006 1:38:03 AM

MadameDahlia

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The Ten Commandments are recorded in the Bible in Exodus 20:1-17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21 and are as follows:

(1) “You shall have no other gods before me.”

(2) “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”

(3) “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses His name.”

(4) “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”

(5) “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”

(6) “You shall not murder.”

(7) “You shall not commit adultery.”

(8) “You shall not steal.”

(9) “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.”

(10) “You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Um... actually... it sort of is...

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Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: 3 Thoughts - 1/23/2006 11:18:13 AM

DameDarkness

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Oh for peet sakes if you cant take a good joke then get off the humor section

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Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

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RE: 3 Thoughts - 1/23/2006 1:49:18 PM

Sardaxia

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The jokes you share are fantastic DameDarkness. It is amazing to see how people over-analyse and disect what is supposed to be a bit of light humour (although the commandments discussion was interestinng)...but I do see your point !

Keep the jokes coming, they're great