RE: How do we stop the pain? (Full Version)

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Destinysskeins -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/20/2004 7:28:55 AM)

Greetings,

Regarding the whole munch issue....i have to put my chip in with afmvdp. I've attended munches from two different BDSM clubs in my area and am planning on attending a new one (*crosses fingers* hopefully more in line with my own age range) this weekend. What have i, as a young, attractive and fit female submissive, encountered in these arenas? Frankly, a large group of overweight (and sorry but i really don't mean any offense to those that are heavier in stature - just making a point) people that were quite a few years older than myself. What was their reaction to myself? Well, let's just say the terms fresh meat and circling sharks comes to mind. Would i classify these particular clubs and groups of people as bad? Hell no, there are some very nice people involved and regardless of the age difference many of them i could speak to openly. Would i prefer to be able to socialize with others more in my age range that lived more similar lifes to me? Hell, yeah! i'm a single mother of two young boys - i don't get time to go out and have a good time or even necessarily have the time to devote to cultivating friendships with those in my age bracket. Any opportunities to let go, be myself and NOT worry about vultures circling me watching for a potential opening for a sexual approach to me would be VERY much appreciated!



afmvdp -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/20/2004 7:34:31 AM)

And this is my point exactly, thank you darlin for your post. Again this iswhy I'm trying to create a group created for those of us that have entered into things at a much younger age, the born Doms or born subs so to speak...the lifers to whom this isn't a weekend fling it is a life that we live. It doesn't mean that we are all negative or can't have a conversation...just means that sometimes you'd like there to be someone you'd actually WANT to converse with.



sub4hire -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/20/2004 7:47:10 AM)

Destiny,
They have munches across the US designed at the younger crowd. You will always have the older people wanting to attend. They will sneak in somehow. I used to know a man who was 20 years my senior who hung out with me because with me he could get into the younger groups.
Although, I am not younger now...hehe. In the group I run I try to focus on education. In doing so I get a lot of younger people. Actually had a 16 year old once with her parents. Most of the groups around me discriminate with age. Most wanting people to be 28 beofre they are even allowed to attend. To me that just is'nt acceptable. We are never too young to learn. However we would appreciate if they were at least of legal age.

Anyway I feel like I'm ranting here so I will shut up. Look around though the groups are out there.



afmvdp -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/20/2004 7:52:48 AM)

I should talk to you more off boards, sounds like you're doing part of what my goal is to achieve. Also in most areas the "scene" is so small that the liklihood of seperate singles, younger, older, albino chickensuit wearer groups are unlikely.



Destinysskeins -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/20/2004 8:03:01 AM)

Gloria,

Thank you. While i'm sure that there are munches across the US geared specifically for the younger crowds this really doesn't help me much in a practical sense. i live in a backwoods portion of Indiana (kink friendly? - umm, no). Sure, if i had the time to travel to Chicago or Indy i could meet up with people more of my ilk, however, as i said - single mommy = no time to do these things. As for the older people creeping in - i really wouldn't mind as long as they held themselves in an appropriate manner. (walking up to me, nearly drooling and saying 'oh, you're new! *insert Domly voice* make sure I get your e-mail addy before you leave' does not equate as such). Discussion groups for education are a great idea but on the same hand since i don't get very many opportunities to socialize there are times when i'd rather save that for ol pursuits and simply have a good time conversing and making new rl friends.

I do, however, commend you on keeping an open mind towards the younger crowds and taking the time to assist them on their journey of discovery.



LordNightScreams -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/21/2004 11:54:52 PM)

Can anyoe say OFF the subject at hand, LOL! This age difference is for another post I do believe, but as long as it is interesting go right ahead.



Sinergy -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/22/2004 9:38:28 AM)

Hello,

I have been to several of the munches in the area, although I was much more active years ago. The issue I personally
had with them had very little to do with age or shape or whatever, I just found the individuals I encountered there had
very little to talk about outside of the realm of BDSM or D/s. Most of them did not really have any hobbies outside of bdsm,
and for me, conversations about sex and beatings get a bit tedious after a while. Additionally, the "meat market" factor
tended to be rather high, and I tend to warm rather slowly.

As I side comment about the age thing, I had a woman (late 40s) tell me she thought I was in my early 30s. Talk about
swallowing my gum in shock. Age is just a number.

Which is why, after going to a bunch of them a few months ago, I realized I needed to expand my horizons and go out
to meet people from other walks of life. So I started dancing and now I have found out I can dance 7 out of 7 nights.

I believed that I would eventually find somebody who would be compatible with me; aka dancing, fishing, hiking, and D/s,
but I stopped expecting that attending D/s munches was the only route to get to my where I wanted to go.

Sinergy



Krow -> RE: How do we stop the pain? (8/23/2004 9:37:31 AM)

Education is the key to everything. Unfortunatly there are those that will jump right in the sack with anyone be it real life or online hook ups. The trick is to NOT stop warning people about the trolls (be it here, there, or anywhere).
This is about all we can do unfortunatly, I hate to say it but no matter how much we scream or want to control the possible health of someone else it is ultimatly their descission on what happens.
I would love to be able to take everyone under my wing and not let the meet happen until I get a psyc eval, history check, referance check etc etc from the two parties.
My advice is to preach caution, try and educate as well as possible and hopefully they listen and take heed.
Play safe,
Krow



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