RE: The rules....ooops (Full Version)

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apiercedkitty -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/10/2009 8:08:32 PM)

And, in all actuality, i used to be a proponent of the safe call. That all changed a year or so ago when i became the safe call for a gf. she never called. she was meeting someone a couple of hours from my house. i found myself wondering wtf i was going to be able to do. In the end, there was nothing i could do. i couldn't call the cops as there's the whole time frame before they even consider someone "missing." Luckily, she just forgot to call me (oh yeah, i tried to call her but she had her phone on silent). That's when i decided safe calls were really pretty ineffective unless the person worrying about you went with you.
You're very right - bad shit happens all the time. i hope it never happens to me or someone i know, love or care about.

BTW - i can understand the weird mood - saw that movie Sunday... strange... lol



DMFParadox -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/10/2009 8:34:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

And, in all actuality, i used to be a proponent of the safe call. That all changed a year or so ago when i became the safe call for a gf. she never called. she was meeting someone a couple of hours from my house. i found myself wondering wtf i was going to be able to do. In the end, there was nothing i could do. i couldn't call the cops as there's the whole time frame before they even consider someone "missing." Luckily, she just forgot to call me (oh yeah, i tried to call her but she had her phone on silent). That's when i decided safe calls were really pretty ineffective unless the person worrying about you went with you.
You're very right - bad shit happens all the time. i hope it never happens to me or someone i know, love or care about.

BTW - i can understand the weird mood - saw that movie Sunday... strange... lol



Good point.

I think the odd exceptions are when I follow the rules. A couple girls I had undressed 10 minutes after meeting them the first time.

I've been too busy with work to do anything like that lately... sigh. I'm getting boring.



Lockit -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 12:14:19 PM)

Life and people can't always go by rules.  You are an adult, hopefully sane and you have to do whatever it is you feel is right.  As an adult you can make mistakes or be stupid, but hopefully as an adult those times have gotten to a minimum.  We cannot be afriad to live.  So... make yourself as safe as you can and go live life!

I was always told that my late night walks were dangerous.  I have been raped, but never during a late night walk.  I found it was more dangerous to walk between six and seven in the evening because all those guys coming home from work were out there and they were looking for a lil fun and people were too busy rushing around to notice a guy bothering a lady walking down the street.  Late at night I could see and hear anyone coming and believe me I was prepared.  I wasn't giving up my enjoyment of late night walks because it was dangerous and there were bad guys out there.  I took precautions and was ready... just think of what a few guys felt when I walked in the early evening when I pulled out whatever weapon I had and showed them I seriously wasn't looking for a date.  I was scarier than they were!

I live my life taking some chances (so do you) that no one thinks of.  Like getting into a car to drive on a full moon... like eating an extra bad thing for your body... walking on ice... living in earthquake or tornado zones.  Sure it all can be scary... and bad people are everywhere and so are bad situations.  If we don't learn to tell what is dangerous and how to handle that... well we are in trouble.  But as adults not acting in dysfunctional need and compulsion... we ought to know how to safely do what we wish to do in life to live freely.

I take precaution... over set rules that might not work in every situation.  Rules could be a crutch and false sense of security... like some of those safe calls and meeting in a public place.  I was in a public place one time... a man walked into the room... picked me up and carried me right out of the building while I fought and screamed.  Not one person did a thing.  I wasn't prepared for that.  I prepare myself now and find my security and safety in how I think, process.. prepare and watch over myself and since, I haven't had one problem.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 2:03:39 PM)

Peeing before gettingo n the road is always a good idea, but not always possible, nor always means you won't need to go again. There's these things that are sold online and in some drug stores called travel  johns, and it's a disposable urinal that has a collar you put up to your crotch to pee into and then the gel in it holds the pee and converts it from liquid to solid. They're always a good idea to have in your car, even for local trips and specially for long distance onces since you can pee right there in the seat, discreetly.


There's also something called she wee, which allows you to pee standing up and in a more discreet way.  I do believe you can also pee sitting down, You can pee into a bottle or a cup or something, in privacy and then throw it out later.

I always wear very long flowing skirts, so I never have to worry about exposing myself if Ihave to pee in public somewhere, That's not why I wear them, but it's a handy thing to be wearing one, if you're just happening to need to pee and don't want to expose yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi

I was driving home from a play party in Detroit Michigan and thought I knew my way back.  I ended up in the ghetto downtown area having to pee very badly.  I saw a dumpster in this alley ( this is around 3am), and begin to relieve myself, and right in midstream comes the garbage truck lifting up the dumpster.  I believe he was surprised to see me squatting there.  When I finished, with the truck headlights lighting up the alley,  I saw a bum about 10 from me sitting and enjoying the view.  Rule #1-always pee before traveling in an unknown area. 



YourhandMyAss -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 2:06:53 PM)

That's what I was saying earlier in a thread about Doms monitoring and blocking emails, and if you need someone to do it for you cause you can't tell what's dangerous and what's not are you really ready to be an adult, and most just shook their head and disagreed.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Sure it all can be scary... and bad people are everywhere and so are bad situations.  If we don't learn to tell what is dangerous and how to handle that... well we are in trouble. 





StormsSlave -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 2:09:19 PM)

Rules?  There's rules?

I went to My Lord's house the first time I met him without telling anyone where I was going.  He was someone I worked with...as a matter of fact, I was his boss.   I drank to excess.  I stayed all night.  I went back the next day, and the next, and the next.  I let him tie me up....oh, I don't know...the third or fourth time we had sex, but we had known each other a while by then. 

It felt right, and it was right, and it has worked out fine.  Screw the rules.  You could be hit by a bus tomorrow, and all of your safety precautions be brought to nought.  Do what works for yourself.  That's all that anyone can do.



Lynnxz -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 2:35:59 PM)

Safecalls are only useless when people don't use them correctly. No shit, you do  not tell your teenie petete girlfriend where you are going. She is not a good safecall, sorry. Like piercedkitties friend... gave a 'safecall'... didn't tell her what to do if something happened, it's borderline useless.

I refuse to get hurt if I can prevent it, so I don't act like a dumbass. When I meet people, C, or another male friend of mine, knows exactly where I am, who I'm with, and what to do if I don't answer my calls... and I *always* answer my calls. It'd be rude to set up a safe call and then ignore it.

Many people I've seen act too good to use the safecall system... but it's not my fault if they've been using it wrong. So yes... I've made my mistakes, paid for them, and I've since then set up my own system to keep it from happening again.

If it gets your rocks off to run off to seedy motels, get shitfaced, and let a stranger tie you up, go for it! Just don't cry to me when it goes wrong.



DavanKael -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 3:11:17 PM)

My gut rules me far more than does any list of good ideas.  And, when I don't pay attention to my gut, I know it's going to amount to something not particularly desirable.  I don't think that a good instinct can be over-rated. 
Best wishes,
  Davan



agirl -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 3:37:14 PM)

A safe call is only any use to me if the person is able to stop anything I don't wish to happen , happen....in the case of ME not being able to.

The safe-call is as good as the people using it. I haven't used it much because there's too many variables with the set-up going wrong. I'd hate someone sat there worrying themselves sick, when all that's happened is my phone has dropped-out.

I do other stuff to look after myself............I really am not a fan of the safe-call *rule*.

agirl







Aynne88 -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 3:44:00 PM)

 
YHMA that is because no one in that thread said one thing about needing someone to tell us what is dangerous. I beleive if you read it again you will see it is a matter of what certain Master's decide.  It is exactly that kind of comment about being ready to be an adult that made that other thread so irritating.

Sorry Omega for the mini hijack. Regarding your question, I met him at a hotel after talking for months, he flew from Texas to  Maine (what a guy[:)]) and we did everything we wanted to on the first day we met, it was amazing. Pushed through hard limits, no safe calls, no one knew where I was, tied up, blindfolded, etc...it was the most wonderful experience of my life, and we are still together, in love and I am moving to Texas. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

That's what I was saying earlier in a thread about Doms monitoring and blocking emails, and if you need someone to do it for you cause you can't tell what's dangerous and what's not are you really ready to be an adult, and most just shook their head and disagreed.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Sure it all can be scary... and bad people are everywhere and so are bad situations.  If we don't learn to tell what is dangerous and how to handle that... well we are in trouble. 






YourhandMyAss -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:00:57 PM)

And what if you give your safe call say yes it's all clear and then they rape and murder you. The only good a call would do then, would be ot give someone an idea where to find your body, if the rapist has not moved it yet.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Safecalls are only useless when people don't use them correctly. No shit, you do  not tell your teenie petete girlfriend where you are going. She is not a good safecall, sorry. Like piercedkitties friend... gave a 'safecall'... didn't tell her what to do if something happened, it's borderline useless.

I refuse to get hurt if I can prevent it, so I don't act like a dumbass. When I meet people, C, or another male friend of mine, knows exactly where I am, who I'm with, and what to do if I don't answer my calls... and I *always* answer my calls. It'd be rude to set up a safe call and then ignore it.

Many people I've seen act too good to use the safecall system... but it's not my fault if they've been using it wrong. So yes... I've made my mistakes, paid for them, and I've since then set up my own system to keep it from happening again.

If it gets your rocks off to run off to seedy motels, get shitfaced, and let a stranger tie you up, go for it! Just don't cry to me when it goes wrong.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:04:35 PM)

Aynne, If you're Master does it because it's how he exercises his control and you're fully capable of protecting yourself But he decided to take that power from you that's great. I have often brought up the point it's not about jealousy or insecurity but expressing the control that she gave you to express as her dom.

My problem, and when I say are they really ready to be an adult and act like one,  is when people need to do it because their partner can't tell what's dangerous or not, So someone else has to decide. And if someone else has to decide cause you're not capable  and you can't tell danger from not dangerI don't think you're ready to be an adult and act like one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


YHMA that is because no one in that thread said one thing about needing someone to tell us what is dangerous. I beleive if you read it again you will see it is a matter of what certain Master's decide.  It is exactly that kind of comment about being ready to be an adult that made that other thread so irritating.


quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

That's what I was saying earlier in a thread about Doms monitoring and blocking emails, and if you need someone to do it for you cause you can't tell what's dangerous and what's not are you really ready to be an adult, and most just shook their head and disagreed.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Sure it all can be scary... and bad people are everywhere and so are bad situations.  If we don't learn to tell what is dangerous and how to handle that... well we are in trouble. 







subangi -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:18:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Peeing before gettingo n the road is always a good idea, but not always possible, nor always means you won't need to go again. There's these things that are sold online and in some drug stores called travel  johns, and it's a disposable urinal that has a collar you put up to your crotch to pee into and then the gel in it holds the pee and converts it from liquid to solid. They're always a good idea to have in your car, even for local trips and specially for long distance onces since you can pee right there in the seat, discreetly.


There's also something called she wee, which allows you to pee standing up and in a more discreet way.  I do believe you can also pee sitting down, You can pee into a bottle or a cup or something, in privacy and then throw it out later.

I always wear very long flowing skirts, so I never have to worry about exposing myself if Ihave to pee in public somewhere, That's not why I wear them, but it's a handy thing to be wearing one, if you're just happening to need to pee and don't want to expose yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi

I was driving home from a play party in Detroit Michigan and thought I knew my way back.  I ended up in the ghetto downtown area having to pee very badly.  I saw a dumpster in this alley ( this is around 3am), and begin to relieve myself, and right in midstream comes the garbage truck lifting up the dumpster.  I believe he was surprised to see me squatting there.  When I finished, with the truck headlights lighting up the alley,  I saw a bum about 10 from me sitting and enjoying the view.  Rule #1-always pee before traveling in an unknown area. 

Wow...thanks.  I have never heard of those things.  I laugh now,  but at the time i just about......well never mind. lol



YourhandMyAss -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:27:29 PM)

I have had that gotta stop and pee PLEASE! thing happen too, and it was usually on vacation we'd just passed our last chance to pee in a toilet and I am like uh dad? I got to pee and no it can not wait! So then he's searching for a place to either pull over so I can pee out doors, or a place we're in the right lane to pull into so I can hold it and run in and pee and as you know sometimes you barely have time to pull them clothing down and sit down, because your bladder is like please please I gotta go any minute now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi


Wow...thanks.  I have never heard of those things.  I laugh now,  but at the time i just about......well never mind. lol



Lynnxz -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:31:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

And what if you give your safe call say yes it's all clear and then they rape and murder you. The only good a call would do then, would be ot give someone an idea where to find your body, if the rapist has not moved it yet.


My calls are right before I meet the person, and every hour on the hour afterwards. :) Granted, there's a lot that could be done in that hour.. .but meh, it's certainly better than me telling some girlfriend of mine that I'm going off with some dude, and might call before the end of the night.



sirsholly -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:41:36 PM)

quote:

I don't think you're ready to be an adult and act like one.

well dayyy-umm!
Hate to tell ya, but ready or not, adulthood bites every bloomin one of us in the ass on our 18th birthday.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:46:12 PM)

Legally it does, but action wise emotionally and mentally, it does not just automatically happen.
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I don't think you're ready to be an adult and act like one.

well dayyy-umm!
Hate to tell ya, but ready or not, adulthood bites every bloomin one of us in the ass on our 18th birthday.




sirsholly -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:55:23 PM)

quote:

My problem, and when I say are they really ready to be an adult and act like one, is when people need to do it because their partner can't tell what's dangerous or not, So someone else has to decide. And if someone else has to decide cause you're not capable and you can't tell danger from not dangerI don't think you're ready to be an adult and act like one.
First of all...you do not have the right to deem anyone fit to be an adult. They are over the age of 18, they are an adult. Period.

Secondly...everyone has a dynamic that suits their own needs and personality. If the dynamic of one is to get the input of a partner, more power to them!!! If they feel they are not capable of spotting a dangerous situation, then it is a sign of maturity (read: adulthood) to get the opinion of another with more sound judgement



Aynne88 -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 4:58:05 PM)

If you were a big M type I would sooooo be your little s. [;)] Well, that and if I weren't all straight and stuff. [8D]



sirsholly -> RE: The rules....ooops (3/11/2009 5:00:15 PM)

*adores Aynne*



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