What's the kick? (Full Version)

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knees2you -> What's the kick? (1/22/2006 11:38:34 PM)

Ok,
I know that there are alot of guys and maybe
some woman Slaves/Submissives who like
Pro Doms. Even though there appears
to be more Pro Mistresses then Masters.

If a Slave/Submissive likes what a Pro Dom
does to him or her, why don't they just
look for a Dom who would be willing to take
them on a fulltime basis.

This way they wouldn't have to spend hundreds of dollars
sometimes thousands of dollars to get the same thing?

So I was just wondering
quote:

"What's the kick?"


Sincerely, Ant[;)]



IceyOne -> RE: What's the kick? (1/22/2006 11:55:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Ok,
I know that there are alot of guys and maybe
some woman Slaves/Submissives who like
Pro Doms. Even though there appears
to be more Pro Mistresses then Masters.

If a Slave/Submissive likes what a Pro Dom
does to him or her, why don't they just
look for a Dom who would be willing to take
them on a fulltime basis.

This way they wouldn't have to spend hundreds of dollars
sometimes thousands of dollars to get the same thing?

So I was just wondering
quote:

"What's the kick?"


Sincerely, Ant[;)]




Hmmm, maybe they are not wanting something permanant. Some don't want more than a couple hours of play with someone that they will probably never see again. And others, well, for personal reasons, can not have a more permanant relationship of that kind, so this is their only option. Who really knows though. Everyone has different ideas and fantasies when they enter into this realm [8D] , and everyone has different ideas of how to fulfill them.



veronicaofML -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 12:15:06 AM)

same reason ya buy a hooker vs getting a wife

some just dont want--CAN'T have permanent full time

ya know?




MissAli -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 1:36:07 AM)

ABSOLUTELY~! Mot of the people I see ARE infact married. And, I happen to prefer them that way. They are dominant people in their everyday life, and need to spend a few hours with someone that will take them off their feet and onto their knees. Many people cannot do this with their girlfriend/boyfriend because they have a vanilla, equal-take relationship in their every day life.



MysticalPhoenix -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 5:24:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAli

ABSOLUTELY~! Mot of the people I see ARE infact married. And, I happen to prefer them that way. They are dominant people in their everyday life, and need to spend a few hours with someone that will take them off their feet and onto their knees. Many people cannot do this with their girlfriend/boyfriend because they have a vanilla, equal-take relationship in their every day life.


bingo!

Pro Dommes fill an important niche in the BDSM community. Not only are they an ideal fit for married men, but many people have their first BDSM experiences with professionals. And those experiences can really have an impact-I've known people whose first experiences were many years in the past, but they still spoke of the professionals with great awe and respect.

What gets me scratching my head is that many members this same group (married or otherwise in a committed vanilla relationship) pursue those of us who are not BDSM professionals, and can get very nasty when we refuse to provide them with the same play experience that they would get from a professional, only they don't have to pay for it. This isn't limited to online contacts, either, there is a guy in our local munch bunch who habitually tries to get the local female dominants to play with him, first by asking for 'sessions', and then by issuing insulting challenges.

PS, love the 'subs eye view' picture, MissAli, very cool :)



MstrssPassion -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 6:01:42 AM)

quote:

MysticalPhoenix: What gets me scratching my head is that many members this same group (married or otherwise in a committed vanilla relationship) pursue those of us who are not BDSM professionals, and can get very nasty when we refuse to provide them with the same play experience that they would get from a professional, only they don't have to pay for it.


<scratching my head also>

I, being a non-pro, am inundated with men & women who seek out a dominant that will 'provide' them with the session they wish to have yet they do not want to pay for it & feel that they shouldn't have to pay.

I have given up on explaining that I am not here on this site or on this planet to satisfy their kinky needs. I have given up on explaining to them that if what they seek out is fulfillment of their own kinky needs that they should seek out a pro.

These persons fail to recognize a non-pro dominant as a living, breathing human being with a real life full of their own needs, wants & desires. They believe that because we live a life that involves a measure of kink in it that we are eager to play with any ass that bends over in front of us. They blindly cast out their come-ons & propositions hoping to get a bite that won't charge them for they play they desire.

I whole-heartedly agree that the existence of pros provide a large number of people with a source to fulfill their kinky desire when their own personal life or relationship cannot fulfill their want/need. At the same time & also believe that the existence of pros has diluted & confused the reality that many dominants live this in their everyday lives & have their own requirements in a partner that will not fit every proposition they receive.

It is unfortunate that these cheap bastards, not willing to pay for a service they desire troll a lifestyle type dominant & attack us when we do not respond in a manner that they wish. Such is life & why we are fortunate enough to have a block button online. As to the real time encounter, we are fortunate enough to go into total bitch mode & metaphorically slap them down in their tracks.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 6:06:32 AM)

1) Married

2) Not confident secure or able to get out into the scene

3) Not ready to get into a steady relationship

4) Wants to try something without hang ups about follow up calls or pretense

5) Doesn't really KNOW yet what's out there for them



phoenixslave -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 6:14:57 AM)

i have notning against pro dommes, and believe they do add to the community. But Mistress Passion, come on. You say that non pro dommes have wants and needs while saying you don't care about a bottoms. You would ask all to do for you without ever giving some back? Good luck with that.

Many a sub/ slave started out by seeking to experience the fantasies that brought them to the search. They start at a comfort point and move on from there. My own first steps were with a dom who took me where i wanted to go. The trust he built there took me where he wanted me to go. imho, it shouldn't be onesided in either direction.



MHOO314 -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 6:21:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

1) Married

2) Not confident secure or able to get out into the scene

3) Not ready to get into a steady relationship

4) Wants to try something without hang ups about follow up calls or pretense

5) Doesn't really KNOW yet what's out there for them



6) Wants to experiment with someone who is more experienced in a variety of toys ans scenes



MstrssPassion -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 6:26:45 AM)

Excuse me???
Where did I say that I don't care?

edited to add...
What I was stressing was that these types pursue fulfillment of their own agenda & most often don't care who it is that does the deed.



MysticalPhoenix -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 7:58:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

At the same time & also believe that the existence of pros has diluted & confused the reality that many dominants live this in their everyday lives & have their own requirements in a partner that will not fit every proposition they receive.

It is unfortunate that these cheap bastards, not willing to pay for a service they desire troll a lifestyle type dominant & attack us when we do not respond in a manner that they wish.


I don't know that this is due to the existence of the Pros, I think it's more due to the availability of Dominant women who are not professionals that has the men confused.

Professional Dominants have been around for centuries.

Now, thanks to the "sexual revolution", the Internet, and the proliferation of munches and clubs and parties, men have the chance to meet women who are like manna from heaven. They may dress like Pro Dommes, they may look like pro dommes, they have toys and know how to use them. And they don't charge to play with people.

And there was much rejoicing in the land...

That's when they get themselves in trouble. They approach us, tell us what they want us to do to them (usually under the guise of telling us how they wish to serve us), and can't understand why we say no. It's because they haven't realized that we are not some sort of non-charging Pro Dommes. That we are not simply there to provide sessions according to their wants and needs. That we play on our terms. And that we have no problem telling them 'thanks but no thanks' if what they want is not what we are into.

And if women who are not Pro Dommes, but agree to provide 'sessions' for people on their terms, and ask for something in return (i.e. tribute, gifts, spoiling, or being taken out to dinner), there is also a problem from what I've seen on the thread discussing whether or not asking for tribute makes someone a hooker.






yourMissTress -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 9:12:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

1) Married

2) Not confident secure or able to get out into the scene

3) Not ready to get into a steady relationship

4) Wants to try something without hang ups about follow up calls or pretense

5) Doesn't really KNOW yet what's out there for them



6) Wants to experiment with someone who is more experienced in a variety of toys ans scenes


7) Wants to control the situation/session. If they are paying for the time, they usually get to say "I want spanking OTK, I want CBT, and I want..." and then get just that.



veronicaofML -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 9:17:54 AM)


It is unfortunate that these cheap bastards, not willing to pay for a service they desire troll a lifestyle type dominant & attack us when we do not respond in a manner that they wish.
=============

i am sorry, You are being attacked.



fergus -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 9:22:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress


quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

1) Married

2) Not confident secure or able to get out into the scene

3) Not ready to get into a steady relationship

4) Wants to try something without hang ups about follow up calls or pretense

5) Doesn't really KNOW yet what's out there for them



6) Wants to experiment with someone who is more experienced in a variety of toys ans scenes


7) Wants to control the situation/session. If they are paying for the time, they usually get to say "I want spanking OTK, I want CBT, and I want..." and then get just that.



8) Looses patience trying to find one of the FEW Dommes seeking male sub vs. the number of male subs seeking Dommes.

fortunately I am one of the patient types ;)

fergus



Nuke718 -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 9:37:50 AM)

A professional and a lifestyle dominant bring different things to the table. The subs "relationship" with each is very different.
When you are paying for a service, the customer is always right. While Pros have their differrent specialties and rules, it is true that if the client isn't getting what they want they won't come back. And in my experience Professional sessions are more SM than Ds, at least in the long term.

With a lifestyler the sub may get some of their fantasies catered to, but it is more at the whim of the Domme. In this case HER needs must also be met, and they are not a payday. I notice a lot more emphasis on mental/emotional compatibility in the Lifestyle Domme world. I also notice a stronger Ds and service side then you will get with a Pro.

For instance, in the IRL community here I know of at least 4 Dommes or toppish switches looking for service subs. They might include some SM play with them, but are primarily looking for servants. House cleaning, errand running, foot massage, etc etc. Now I know a couple of these women and like them a lot but it's not my thing.

When I bottom, I don't WANT to call all the shots, but I know what I am not into. So a neither a Pro who wants me to script my own scenes is out, as is somebody looking for a houseboy.

I guess the point of my rambling is that Dominant women are not interchangable. People find what they need in different places.

Nuke }:-



quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Ok,
I know that there are alot of guys and maybe
some woman Slaves/Submissives who like
Pro Doms. Even though there appears
to be more Pro Mistresses then Masters.

If a Slave/Submissive likes what a Pro Dom
does to him or her, why don't they just
look for a Dom who would be willing to take
them on a fulltime basis.

This way they wouldn't have to spend hundreds of dollars
sometimes thousands of dollars to get the same thing?





MistressSassy66 -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 2:23:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Ok,
I know that there are alot of guys and maybe
some woman Slaves/Submissives who like
Pro Doms. Even though there appears
to be more Pro Mistresses then Masters.

If a Slave/Submissive likes what a Pro Dom
does to him or her, why don't they just
look for a Dom who would be willing to take
them on a fulltime basis.

This way they wouldn't have to spend hundreds of dollars
sometimes thousands of dollars to get the same thing?

So I was just wondering
quote:

"What's the kick?"


Sincerely, Ant[;)]






One reason I can think of is they are married and their wife isnt into it(Pro-Dommes arnt about sex).Someone mentioned not wanting a permenant thing.Some like to pay for it,because it adds to the scene.I have a sub who likes to be blackmailed,of course I would never actually tell his SO,but its fun to make pretend I will.Another reason is maybe they are just testing the waters before they seek something full time.
I know I offer a safe,sane,consensual and PRIVATE space for scenes,I have to believe that is also a reason to seek a Pro,the privacy.

I also dont charge "hundreds" of dollars,for the simple reason that everyone should be able to have a BDSM experience.At the same time I need to replenish the panties and nylons subs wear home.The cost of make-up and brushes add up after awhile.Not to mention I want to improve the experience by having all the things I can.
Potty chair,tables,spreader bars all cost money....Sorry got off topic there.

If you can have a BDSM session and feel just as good as you would after a professional massage or some gym time what difference does it make if they pay for it?



EvilGeoff -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 11:01:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

What I was stressing was that these types pursue fulfillment of their own agenda & most often don't care who it is that does the deed.


That is the very definition of a troll. *grin*

YIK,
- Geoff



EvilGeoff -> RE: What's the kick? (1/23/2006 11:05:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticalPhoenix
.... And if women who are not Pro Dommes, but agree to provide 'sessions' for people on their terms, and ask for something in return (i.e. tribute, gifts, spoiling, or being taken out to dinner), there is also a problem from what I've seen on the thread discussing whether or not asking for tribute makes someone a hooker.



It depends on how the laws are worded, but in most jurisdictions, if the pro does not engage in sexual activity (intercourse, oral, anal or handjob), then there is no exchange of money for sex, therefore, no prostituion takes place.

YIK,
- Geoff



tasha_tart -> RE: What's the kick? (1/24/2006 9:14:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

If you can have a BDSM session and feel just as good as you would after a professional massage or some gym time what difference does it make if they pay for it?


Excellent point; I've never really looked at it in exactly those terms.

Tasha



tasha_tart -> RE: What's the kick? (1/24/2006 9:18:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

If a Slave/Submissive likes what a Pro Dom
does to him or her, why don't they just
look for a Dom who would be willing to take
them on a fulltime basis.

Sincerely, Ant[;)]


DOH! Why didn't I think of that?

Tasha



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