how long does it take to find a Mistress? (Full Version)

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slaveboisam -> how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 4:24:29 AM)

hello there i have been on this site for like a year now and i just can find anyone in my area they all want cam slaves but i want to move up a stage could any one give me any tips?



subrob1967 -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 4:50:12 AM)

Get out into the community, find a local group, go to a munch...etc.



azjojoba -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 5:17:17 AM)

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 



Lashra -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 5:22:07 AM)

The best thing that you could do is join a local BDSM club in your area and attend a few munches. Getting yourself out there and seen by people is the best way to find someone. Sure you could meet someone here but frankly many Dommes get swamped with some really nutty emails here from male subs and they loose interest and look elsewhere.

Also you may want to check and see if there is a Club Fem in your area as they focus on the Femdom lifestyle.

Good luck,
~Lashra



OttersSwim -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 5:27:49 AM)

1.  Clean up all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your profile.
2.  Get a picture up
3.  Make your profile less generic - "I want to serve." is universal.  How are you unique, different?  What do you offer a Mistress or Master that others don't?  Further, what are you looking for in the lifestyle?  Not a "do-me" laundry list mind, but a suscinct summation of what you hope to gain/be/accomplish.
4.  Get out into your local BDSM community and attend munches, go to clubs, meet people, etc.

This site is certainly a lot like fishing.  I don't know that I would be quite as down on it as our friend azjojoba has suggested, but it does take good "bait" in your profile, and a lot of luck!

Good Luck to you!  [:)]



LadyPact -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 5:52:33 AM)

You're really running into a problem that too many Dommes just want cam action?  My first thought:  Verify they are actually female.  LOL.

If you really want something in your life, why are you sitting behind the screen?  The world is outside of your door, not what's inside when you close it.  The computer that you're looking at is just a tool.  It's not a life.  Use the tool appropriately for the information that you need.  After that, shut it off, open the door, and see what's really out there.



LadyPact -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 5:53:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 

Oh, absolutely.  It has nothing to do with being a quality submissive.  (Sarcasm.)



dreamerdreaming -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 6:06:43 AM)

BE PATIENT.

Take time.
 
Expand your search area, and be willing to travel to someone, or at least meet them halfway.
 
And don't cam. Instead, move to realtime as quickly as possible, so you find out if you are really compatible. There is no substitute for actually being with someone, to get to know them.

Keep a positive attititude, and be confident! Those are both very attractive traits.

Explore, and have fun!



Lynnxz -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 6:10:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 

Pretty much your fate, unless you count prancing around in your not so tighty whities, demanding a pretty young slut to help you get your spankie on to be a turnon for women. (Mustn't forget you need the kinky little model to be quiet too, lest your wifey hear)


OP, OttersSwim has some great advice, I'd take notes! :D



BoiJen -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 8:31:35 AM)

Club FEM doesn't focus on the FemDom Lifestyle...it focuses on "Females Enslaving Males"...FemDoms come in every shape and size and are not limited to only male bits of pleasing...which is what ClubFEM focuses on. If that's your thing go for it. Often single males must be interviewed if they are accepted at all. Some groups require that the male be brought in be an already attending Woman.

Check out this...he gives some good advice about using the computer as a tool and what else you can do to help in your search...
http://www.lulu.com/content/5043162
The Courage to Submit The Guide for the Submissive Male Seeking a Dominant Woman

And if you're finding yourself frustrated but don't want the hassle of  searching for the FemDom of your dreams or creating that relationship, a Professional will likely be able to meet your play needs at a cost. You can check out Maxfisch for that as well.



CatdeMedici -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 8:57:56 AM)

First of all, your profile says you want online, if you don't--remove it. It also says you will do anything once? Really? Be careful with that, you may get your wish and spend the rest of your life in a jail cell---
 
Next, you are in a small area where I imagine there is little in the way of community groups, you may have to expand to a larger city to look and plan on some travel on occasion--and as others have said, a well written profile is a great start---"brush up your Shakespeare" as they say.
 
And don't listen to the naysayers, you can find someone good here, but like out there, it takes time, patience and a positive attitude.



MsFlutter -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 11:38:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

1.  Clean up all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your profile.

3.  ....a suscinct summation 



Otter.. 'succinct', perhaps?  [;)]



atypicalsub -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 12:01:31 PM)

Defintely follow Otter's advice above.

In addition to that be on here and be visible.  Posting here is good.  If you make some intelligent, thoughtful posts that will get some of the ladies on here to look at your profile.  Likewise spend some time in the chat rooms.  Most of the Dommes on here want someone who is able to hold an intelligent conversation on a variety of subjects both kink and day to day things.  Go in, be yourself and be polite.  That is how I found my Mistress,  or more accuately how she found me.  She watched me in one of the chat rooms for about a month before revealing that she had intentions for me.  I did have to relocate from another state but I am now living as her personal pet. :)



OttersSwim -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 3:50:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

1.  Clean up all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your profile.

3.  ....a suscinct summation 



Otter.. 'succinct', perhaps?  [;)]


Err...um...yes, that is the spelling MsFlutter.  I thank you.  [:)]



WarKirby -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/11/2009 5:04:30 PM)

not a mistress, but I can give you some general pointers nevertheless.

1. Fix your spelling and grammar. Proper english will instantly set you apart from many others.
2. Get a picture. Your webcam doesn't take pictures? That's just an excuse. Buy a new one. then take pictures.
3. Expand your search a little, perhaps. The UK is all one island, and it can be travelled around in a day. Is it unreasonable to expect you to travel to london, or glasgow? Limiting it to just hampshire severely shrinks your pool of possible matches.




beeble -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/14/2009 1:18:23 PM)

quote:

WarKirby wrote: The UK is all one island, and it can be travelled around in a day.

Um.  Actually, the UK is an archipelago of several thousand islands.  For a relevant example of this, slaveboisam lives on the Isle of Wight.

quote:

Is it unreasonable to expect you to travel to london, or glasgow? Limiting it to just hampshire severely shrinks your pool of possible matches.

Google reckons on seven hours' drive from Southampton to Glasgow; the train takes the same amount of time and costs a hundred and thirty quid return unless you buy tickets well in advance.  And that's after you've crossed from the Isle of Wight on the ferry, which is going to add at least another hour by the time you've got to wherever it sails from and waited for the next one and unloaded at the other end.

So, for somebody looking for a real-life relationship, Glasgow isn't especially practical.  London's a little better, at only an hour and a half each way and thirty-five quid return on the train, again, plus ferry.

beeble.



MsDDom -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/14/2009 4:25:03 PM)

quote:

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro.

ummm...i disagree...  why do all Dommes here have to be pros??

i definitely agree w/ Otter...



DVsFox -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/14/2009 5:20:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Not a chance you will find what you are looking for on this website, unless you want to hire a pro. 


I found what I was looking for on this website on my first day.  I guess that must have been a rip in the time-space continuum.

DV's Fox



WyldHrt -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/14/2009 5:51:14 PM)

quote:

I guess that must have been a rip in the time-space continuum.

And here I thought she homed in on your beacon and tractored you in. [;)]



YoursMistress -> RE: how long does it take to find a Mistress? (3/14/2009 6:42:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Next, you are in a small area where I imagine there is little in the way of community groups, you may have to expand to a larger city to look and plan on some travel on occasion--and as others have said, a well written profile is a great start---"brush up your Shakespeare" as they say.



omg Miss Cat, that is my favorite musical clip of all time!  Keenan Wynn and James Whitmore were priceless!  <3 <3

yours



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