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About a Dude - 3/11/2009 5:37:00 PM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline 		So I have been talking with a "Dom"on CM for a few months and got to meet him about 2 weeks ago.

After the meeting he said he'd call.  He didn't.  Well I was on another site and I happened to find him.....except according to his profile he was someone completely different....

It isn't the fact that he didn't call or say that we weren't a match.....i thought we were...he apparently didn't....but anyway the meat of the question...

On here he claims to be a Dom...........on the other site he says he is a sub who really wants to be a slave. 

Should I just disqualify him as being a confusedwannabe or what? 

Just a random thought as I watch Mirrors.

edited: Because CLB watches too many scary and gory movies and is waiting for the end of the world.


< Message edited by clearlightblack -- 3/11/2009 5:46:56 PM >
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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 5:40:13 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		Damnation for what? i see no one doing anything wrong with the exception that he did not contact you after your initial meeting to say you were not the one for him

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 5:40:14 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Welcome to the internets?

Dr. House says "Everybody lies." It's a good philosophy to go by, I think. He's just trying to get laid, using various profiles and orientations.


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/11/2009 5:41:01 PM >

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 5:47:44 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I think that the lack of contact after the meeting, if only to say that he is not interested, is poor form. 
As for the conflicting profiles, he's likely just trying to broaden his options or he's not willing to say he's a switch because he's afraid it'll limit his options...though, I'm going with the theory that he's likely a liar. 
Better luck next time, 
  Davan

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 5:48:03 PM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline 		I was having wayyyyyy too many thoughts while I was writing! 

**hugs** I miss holly!

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 6:27:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Just consider him incompatible, shrug him off and move on. Why dwell on it?

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 6:35:06 PM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline 		i guess because for a moment...after doing the double take...it felt like "What did I do?" (granted there is no evidence that I did anything or if it was even me but still....we all have those moments i am sure.

I believe I am a little more worried about getting into finally jumping into the local scene and him also being a part of it.  I am the last one to want to have or insight drama....so i worry....even though it might give me warts

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 7:11:23 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Disqualify him for getting what he wanted. Learn a lesson, move on.

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 7:34:39 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clearlightblack

Well I was on another site and I happened to find him.....except according to his profile he was someone completely different....



How do you know it was "REALLY" him?  Picture? 

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I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 7:36:13 PM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: clearlightblack

Well I was on another site and I happened to find him.....except according to his profile he was someone completely different....



How do you know it was "REALLY" him?  Picture? 


Same exact picture......info....just different orientation

edited to add: oh and when I msged him a hello, and asked if his other site orientation was what he really wanted, and he blocked me on everything.....


< Message edited by clearlightblack -- 3/11/2009 7:38:50 PM >

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 7:38:36 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I would just chalk it up to, "Dates do not always lead to anything else" and move on.  I would not even bother giving it a lable.  One more life experience. . . NEXT!

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 8:10:50 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		Just to make you feel better, clb ... I've experienced the same thing.  Someone I knew for about 7 months as a Dom ... then he was on here as a sub - same pic.  I had such an odd feeling about it.  I *know* people lie, it is the Internet after all, but to have it happen directly and indisputably threw me for a loop.  I wound up talking with him about it, and he was honest about his feelings and wanting to explore, etc.  I wasn't the one to do it with, since I don't identify as a top, but it was nice to talk about it.  He recently contacted me, asking if I wanted to be his submissive again ... can anyone say, switch?  Or, perhaps more appropriate, horny? 

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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 8:37:13 PM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234
I *know* people lie, it is the Internet after all, but to have it happen directly and indisputably threw me for a loop.  I wound up talking with him about it, and he was honest about his feelings and wanting to explore, etc.


This is the feeling I had.....I do know people lie, I work in an industry that it is a necessity to survive, but to have someone who seemed to just connect and then have him throw a loop and go completely in another direction, especially since I had asked about it before I had ever found out about his other profile.

It was just like whoa!.....I was all for it but.....who knows what happened......it wasn't even given a chance....so i can do as Aylee said...chalk it up and forget about it


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RE: About a Dude - 3/11/2009 8:41:11 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Who he is or how he represents himself doesn't have anything to do with you and there's nothing you can do to change it. However, you CAN decide how you're going to react to his actions. If the fact he didn't call doesn't send a message that you need to hear, then move on.

Master Fire


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RE: About a Dude - 3/12/2009 7:59:36 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So why be afraid you'll run into him? If he is at the same meeting just say hello and keep moving on to talk to someone else. You met him, it didn't work, so what?

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: About a Dude - 3/12/2009 8:49:30 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clearlightblack

i guess because for a moment...after doing the double take...it felt like "What did I do?" (granted there is no evidence that I did anything or if it was even me but still....we all have those moments i am sure.

I believe I am a little more worried about getting into finally jumping into the local scene and him also being a part of it.  I am the last one to want to have or insight drama....so i worry....even though it might give me warts



you did nothing wrong.  sure, it will feel awkward, but, dont lower yourself.  no drama needs to be made, unless it comes from him.  then simply smile and walk on by.  im betting he wont hit the local scene, because if he is afraid to admit to his desire to switch, he wont want to be found out.  and if he admits to it, it wont mean any more to him than it does you. 

just because someone else is not what they claim to be, doesnt give me the right to be less than what i know i am.


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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: About a Dude - 3/12/2009 10:29:08 PM   
maatsubJ


Posts: 35
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline 		I can understand a fear of drama if they run into each other out in the scene.  If people lie on the internets there's nothing to stop him from acting an ass in public.  I've had it happen (not lifestyle related).A guy kept hitting me up and I told him no, he then runs into me at my job and makes a scene.  Hella insanity.  I can comprehend the worry. Outside of that moving on is a great thing :-)

< Message edited by maatsubJ -- 3/12/2009 10:30:35 PM >

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RE: About a Dude - 3/13/2009 5:47:35 AM   
rabinyaZharovna


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		CLB~

When I first started doing this internet thing I was with someone and so I wasn't looking, but I wound up chatting with several Doms in just a friendly fashion. What I found was that once they got comfortable with me they would wind up confiding to me how they had some desire to switch on occasion, but not enough to claim they were a switch and possibly it was an area they weren't entirely comfortable with within themselves. I didn't think much of it really until........ fast forward a couple of years to when I was actually looking to find someone. I discovered that alot of doms were actually like this! You chat a few times, and you are thinking this is going okay and at some point something is said and you question it and discover that the reality is they want to flip it around sometimes. ( I saw a post on here one time from a Domme saying what is with all these men with Dom profiles contacting me and professing there submissive side?) By the time I talked with my Master I swear I grilled him on it... okay realllly and truly you aren't going to want me to whip your ass... ever? Really you aren't eveeeer going to want to wear my panties and have me make fun of you? Ever? Swear?? It wasn't that I had a problem with men wanting this, it was that I don't have any inkling, at all, to play Domme to anyone ever. It also teed me off just because I felt like my time had been wasted... I was clear.... looking for Dom, need Dom... I am allllll subby here. And it was only because I tuned in to some small thing they said and then rooted around that I got them to tell me the reality of what they wanted before it had gone any further. So, this guy you met went about it differenty, but it all comes back to the same thing I think and it's more common than one might imagine. (in my expereince) So, now ya know :)

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RE: About a Dude - 3/13/2009 7:14:21 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If he's attractive, there's a possibility someone's using his picture without his consent. 

But since he hasn't contacted you, I'd say the whole point's moot.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: About a Dude - 3/13/2009 7:20:58 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Okay, listen carefully to this:  guys don't always call when they say they will.  There are tons of books on this subject matter.  Maybe he's confused, maybe he didn't want a confrontation, maybe he's not that into you.

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