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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 9:29:27 AM

scottjk

Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
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I think that what the OP was REALLY complaining about is the very vocal and often quite stupid group of people that feel the need to abuse others to satisfy thier own need to feel superior. The target is often those that appear vulnerable or are considered vulnerable, like the younger ones. Of course, that just demonstrates how stupid those people are. Jabs at age is a common weapon with people that practice verbal and emotional abuse. It's often a favorite.

The problem with verbal and emotional abuse is that it's not often recognized as actual abuse, because it's not physical. Verbal and emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse, and it's often employed in combinations of both. Sadly, you can't quantify verbal/emotional abuse like you can with bruises, blood and broken bones. Few people die from a vicious statement.

The best advice I can offer is what I've learned from a good person.

There is a difference between verbal abuse and the painful truth. Verbal and emotional abuse is used to control and cause pain. The painful truth is used to educate and correct errors, whatever they may be, in good faith and intention.

Just ask yourself when you can't decide if it's verbal abuse or the painful truth you hear: Is it true?
If it is, then it's a painful truth and you should try to learn from it. If it isn't, then write it off and move on, happy that you resolved it.

I'm not changing my point of view from my previous posts, just changing the angle. :)

< Message edited by scottjk -- 3/15/2009 9:30:22 AM >

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Post #: 61

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 10:31:13 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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You're just squatting on the other side of the *You're OLD , how can YOU know?* thing....lol

It get's just as dull hearing that.

My sprogs AND grand-sproggies teach me about THEIR lives in this world today and about how THEY see it and cope. I learn a lot about life for THEM as young people by listening to it.

My contribution, as a bit of a maverick, gives them a smidgeon of confidence to stand up for what they think is right for them.

I hope I give them an alternative view from someone who's not tramping the same wheel as they are. It's just another angle for them to consider and use if they want to.

"You're only 22? Stop acting like you have life figured out, you're just a brat trying to get attention."

Well, the comment above is one I'd make if I felt I'd lost any credibility. I wouldn't even say that to my youngest sprog of 15yrs. He'd see through that before it'd finished leaving my lips.

All you have, and all I have, decades apart in age, is what we portray, how we behave and live our lives... make it count if it matters to you. You have what you have at 22yrs...... you'll amend some of it by the time you're 30yrs , and so on and so forth.

This is the same for everyone.

agirl

(in reply to LadyDread)

Post #: 62

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 11:05:04 AM

Alfonze

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/15/2009
Status: offline

Man, I absolutely agree with you.

Er. Ah, not that I'm much position to talk being new to the site, but definitely not new to the life. What I dislike is definitely how others in this lifestyle assume you don't know what you're talking about or why based on superficial things. Especially just based on your age. You can be fifty or eighteen and have more pain, depth, tolerance and patience than anyone in the world. Reflecting on what people here have said, I agree that there are plenty of people out there that jump in too quickly or aren't too sure but at the same time I know there are too many that get dismissed right away.

If you know your beliefs, no one should talk or throw them down. If you know who you are than that's fantastic! Don't let any one stand in the way of that. And if you are a dom or sub that's wonderful too. Any dom who knows what this life means knows how to treat this lifestyle right and those in it at least with some dignity I'd like to think anyways. If they have nothing better to do than tell you off without considering what you're saying or giving real responses to it as if they know you I'd imagine you'd know a bit more of this life than they do.

That's my oppinion of course, but I'd stand by that if someone really has a problem with what you said they should not dismiss it based on just your age alone.

(in reply to LadyDread)

Post #: 63

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 11:42:35 AM

kaleidoscopeeyes

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

The person I was replying to seemed to think that the younger generation should be in awe of their elders, thanking them for every bit of advise belched out. He also mentioned it was the "JOB of the elders to teach the young." I agree with this... to a point. I have great respect for my family, my professors, and people who I choose to learn from. I do not, however, think it is required of me (or even wise) to take advise from Sailor Joe here, just because he happens to be a baby boomer. I respect myself too much to listen to every pompous ass that comes along... ;)

Re-read my post, Lynnxz. You failed to comprehend what I was saying, choosing instead to comprehend what you were feeling. I never said anything about younger generations being in awe of their elders or showing gratitude. Nor have I stated any requirement of any kind. You decided, without any qualification, that I just HAD to be a pompous ass just because I was older, and made a statement that opposed your attitude. What's more, you showed very little patience, never mind basic respect, to actually READ what you were looking at, taking time to only glance and therefore making a very uninformed retort.

You probably don't want advice from me, but I'll offer it anyway, just to be a pompous ass.

Learn patience. Take time to make sure you see what you think you see. The more you practice this, your decisions will improve as well as the time you take to make those decisions. Be the good example, not the horrible lesson.

There, as a pompous ass, I educated you. I do not expect or demand awe, but I demand respect. I do not demand that you follow my advice, and you're welcome to disagree if you like. However, with my limited interaction with you, you'll probably only be interested in reading my advice and take it as a criticism and will focus on just that, rather than the message itself, no different from the post I made that you so poorly criticized.

Actually, I got the same impression from your post and I re-read it a few times. Even if you didn't mean for it to come across as a little pompous and arrogant, it did. Especially considering the OP's post was a rant about older people insulting and demeaning her based on her age, specifically mentioning that their messages are usually something like "You're only 22? Stop acting like you have life figured out, you're just a brat trying to get attention." And then you asked the OP to think over the "gifts" her elders have given her without getting irritated (also saying that they're giving her growth and wisdom, not insults, despite the example the OP gave)? Where exactly did that come from? It seemed like you were asking the OP and the rest of us younger people to respect older folks no matter what, even if they don't respect us. You didn't actually say that, no -- but that was the impression given based on the OP and how you replied.

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 64

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 11:51:09 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

I didn't read the replies as my migraine today causes problems with staring too much onto the screen, but I totally agree with the OP, just the other way around.
On a few occasions I got told "you don't have those issues I have (healthwise), as you are still young..." well, being 31 is not "that young" anymore in my view and despite that I am taking daily my painkillers for my fibromyalgia, where the dosis currently seems to be too low as on far more occassions I end up waking up at night again as my whole body is severely aching... so yes, I am not 50 yet, but as the OP says...its not all about the number of the age...totally agree...

despite that I know quite many people who experienced far more then some of so called "wiser older people."

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 3/15/2009 11:53:09 AM >

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Post #: 65

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 3:12:38 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
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No, not kidding. God forbid anything more serious than a broken laptop or iPod crisis should happen.:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
A fifteen year old... ok, I might give you that one, providing the kid was neglected or something... but 30? Are you kidding me?

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Post #: 66

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 7:25:32 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

No, not kidding. God forbid anything more serious than a broken laptop or iPod crisis should happen.:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
A fifteen year old... ok, I might give you that one, providing the kid was neglected or something... but 30? Are you kidding me?

I... I think I might just have to assume you are being sarcastic here. Have you never met someone in their twenties with their shit together?

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/15/2009 7:27:03 PM >

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Post #: 67

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 7:49:06 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I sometimes wonder, when people say, "No one of age ___ could possibly know anything," if they are thinking of themselves at that age and projecting out. Pompous old farts were once clueless young bucks.

I had a long-term girlfriend from Mexico. She started working for a living at age 9. It's definitely the upper middle class folks who think 20-somethings don't know anything. There's lots of people in the world who get mature, fast. Start working young, and see a few people die -- presto, instant maturity. Not everyone lives in a fluffy little bubble until they get out of liberal arts college.

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(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 68

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 7:52:37 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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And yet...people who graduate from liberal arts colleges do know some things that other people who had to start working at the age of nine DON'T know. Otherwise we wouldn't send our children to liberal arts colleges.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I had a long-term girlfriend from Mexico. She started working for a living at age 9. It's definitely the upper middle class folks who think 20-somethings don't know anything. There's lots of people in the world who get mature, fast. Start working young, and see a few people die -- presto, instant maturity. Not everyone lives in a fluffy little bubble until they get out of liberal arts college.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 69

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 7:53:50 PM

RedMagic1

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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Sure, but you're talking knowledge and I'm talking maturity. No contradiction there.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 70

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 7:57:07 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I was a mature young person. Now I am a mature middle aged person. The difference? PERSPECTIVE.

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Post #: 71

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 8:17:00 PM

LadyDread

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/16/2008
Status: offline

You all have made some valid points. I do believe a few of you have grossly misunderstood my original post, and in doing so have helped to drive home the point I was trying to make. Those who feel the need to condescend to others who may be younger (on the basis of age alone), are usually those who don't care to listen to them or get to know them before they form their opinions. I am not claiming to be all-knowing, far from it. I can acknowledge there is much to learn in life and I look forward to it. And yes, a lot of what I have learned so far has been learned from those who are older than I am. On the flip side, I have learned a lot from observation, whether it be of someone my own age, or someone at age 45. Some wisdom is self-taught.

So, we can all argue until we're blue in the face, but I can say with confidence that this issue is not nor will it ever be black and white. Thanks for your thoughts!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 72

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/15/2009 11:50:05 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDread

"You're only 22? Stop acting like you have life figured out, you're just a brat trying to get attention."

And to reply to this quote, I am 23, and I have life-my life- figured out. I have my shit together and get by day to day month to month. I am constantly trying to improve myself, to better cope with my life, to reach my goals. However, where I am now in life is where I want to be for this phase of my life. If I'm still here when I'm 27 I might have a different perspective.

Thats all any of us need to worry about, is where we are in OUR own lives, and to offer advice and or help to friends and family, who ASK for it.

Where I am in my life is ok with me right now. Last year not so much, but I worked hard, set some goals, and here I am. Its not easy, its damn hard. But I love it and I'm happier than I ever was living with mommy or gramma paying the bills.

(in reply to LadyDread)

Post #: 73

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/16/2009 12:09:49 AM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

Yes and no. While I can not attest, nor care too, how someone of any age "compiles their excrement" (classy of you to term it as such) I do know the following:

You seem to be of the opinion that you are intelligent, worldy, educated and seem impressed with your matriculation. Good for you. Seriously, good for you.

I am nearly twice your age. Roughly half of your age would be a child of about 10 years old. So if we use for example a normally bright child of 10, are you willing to concede that child is on par with you as regards intellect and experience? I mean they may be in rare form, top of their class, honor role, but that child is still only 10 years of age. If that child were to try to impress you with his/her wit and knowledge, you would reply (condescendingly perhaps, but also patiently hopefully) "Wow. Good job!

Same rule applies here. To me, at my age, you at half my age, are that child. I am not saying this to insult you, simply to make a point. And the same would apply to me. Someone twice my age would perhaps see my life experiences and level of "life knowledge" as being "childish", or in both cases being so much shorter than anothers as to be of little importance, relatively speaking.

Knowledge is infinite. There is not some great magical "thing" that happens when one turns 18, or 21 (other than being legally able to buy cigs, porn and alcohol).

I hope you live to be 100 so you can look at all those "silly little kids" who are half your age and are "only" 50.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I... I think I might just have to assume you are being sarcastic here. Have you never met someone in their twenties with their shit together?

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Post #: 74

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/16/2009 12:10:42 AM

rulemylife

Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDread

"You're only 22? Stop acting like you have life figured out, you're just a brat trying to get attention."

And to reply to this quote, I am 23, and I have life-my life- figured out. I have my shit together and get by day to day month to month. I am constantly trying to improve myself, to better cope with my life, to reach my goals. However, where I am now in life is where I want to be for this phase of my life. If I'm still here when I'm 27 I might have a different perspective.

You have it figured out huh?

More power to you, I'm 40+ and haven't figured out a damn thing.

Maybe you should share your wisdom.

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 75

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/16/2009 12:25:32 AM

rulemylife

Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

I remember being 22...indignation, desire to be heard, making my mark...all that.

I just want to tell you honey...at 50....I'd fuck you...and to hell with what anyone else thinks.

(But then, I'm a giver).

$0.02.

Such an amazing spirit of generosity LNN.

I'm so proud.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 76

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/16/2009 3:53:04 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Ya know just when I "think" I have it figured out... them bastards change the rules. That's just the way life is. The stock market is a good example of life rules changing.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 3/16/2009 4:04:57 AM >

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Post #: 77

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/16/2009 5:12:21 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Yes and no. While I can not attest, nor care too, how someone of any age "compiles their excrement" (classy of you to term it as such) I do know the following:

You seem to be of the opinion that you are intelligent, worldy, educated and seem impressed with your matriculation. Good for you. Seriously, good for you.

I am nearly twice your age. Roughly half of your age would be a child of about 10 years old. So if we use for example a normally bright child of 10, are you willing to concede that child is on par with you as regards intellect and experience? I mean they may be in rare form, top of their class, honor role, but that child is still only 10 years of age. If that child were to try to impress you with his/her wit and knowledge, you would reply (condescendingly perhaps, but also patiently hopefully) "Wow. Good job!

Same rule applies here. To me, at my age, you at half my age, are that child. I am not saying this to insult you, simply to make a point. And the same would apply to me. Someone twice my age would perhaps see my life experiences and level of "life knowledge" as being "childish", or in both cases being so much shorter than anothers as to be of little importance, relatively speaking.

Knowledge is infinite. There is not some great magical "thing" that happens when one turns 18, or 21 (other than being legally able to buy cigs, porn and alcohol).

I hope you live to be 100 so you can look at all those "silly little kids" who are half your age and are "only" 50.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I... I think I might just have to assume you are being sarcastic here. Have you never met someone in their twenties with their shit together?

You continue to miss every point brought up by 'children' half your age. If you want to continue this pointless debate, I'd suggest you just take it to my inbox.

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Post #: 78

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/16/2009 7:11:11 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

No thanks. I don't do babysitting. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Yes and no. While I can not attest, nor care too, how someone of any age "compiles their excrement" (classy of you to term it as such) I do know the following:

You seem to be of the opinion that you are intelligent, worldy, educated and seem impressed with your matriculation. Good for you. Seriously, good for you.

I am nearly twice your age. Roughly half of your age would be a child of about 10 years old. So if we use for example a normally bright child of 10, are you willing to concede that child is on par with you as regards intellect and experience? I mean they may be in rare form, top of their class, honor role, but that child is still only 10 years of age. If that child were to try to impress you with his/her wit and knowledge, you would reply (condescendingly perhaps, but also patiently hopefully) "Wow. Good job!

Same rule applies here. To me, at my age, you at half my age, are that child. I am not saying this to insult you, simply to make a point. And the same would apply to me. Someone twice my age would perhaps see my life experiences and level of "life knowledge" as being "childish", or in both cases being so much shorter than anothers as to be of little importance, relatively speaking.

Knowledge is infinite. There is not some great magical "thing" that happens when one turns 18, or 21 (other than being legally able to buy cigs, porn and alcohol).

I hope you live to be 100 so you can look at all those "silly little kids" who are half your age and are "only" 50.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I... I think I might just have to assume you are being sarcastic here. Have you never met someone in their twenties with their shit together?

You continue to miss every point brought up by 'children' half your age. If you want to continue this pointless debate, I'd suggest you just take it to my inbox.

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 79

RE: My age does not define me. - 3/17/2009 1:19:45 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

You're as-old-as-the-man-you-feel-for-in-the-dark-'cos-you-don't-know-where-he-is-when-you-are-wearing-blindfolds-save-for-some-whispering-whip-as-it-tremors-through-the-air-inches-from-your-skin.
Or did somebody already post that????

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Post #: 80

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