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RE: Making assumptions - 3/16/2009 7:00:45 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I expect common courtesy when I show it to others. If I don't get it, that's that... I think less of them and move on.

Exactly!! It's all in the approach. When I'm met with anything less than courtesy, I usually ask the person to read my journal. Sometimes they still can't pick up the subtlety asking that they be respectful as they come back with the same inane comments. At that point, their e-mails are deleted. They could be UberDomMaster of the Universe...big whoop!! I haven't agreed to submit to them, so they're just pixels on a screen.

Edited to add: I've been called fake and everything but a child of God because I refuse to submit to an "e-mail". The only person I have to prove my realness to is my Sir.

< Message edited by sblady -- 3/16/2009 7:09:16 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Making assumptions - 3/16/2009 7:07:19 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

what dynamic is left to be determined. you just said, he is a dom, i am a sub.

i would think that when it comes to finding a partner in a lifestyle like this, one would expect certain behavior traits from their potential other(s).

just because i would expect a sub to show some submissiveness doesnt mean i expect to have my way with it, and collar it upon arrival, but i do not think a long list of demands is going to win over to many masters

So he’s a dominant. That’s a label and it doesn’t tell me anything significant about him as a person.
So I’m a submissive. That’s a label and it doesn’t tell him anything significant about me as a person.
I don't understand dominating or submitting to someone I don't know very much about.
And this, I think is where you and I have the greatest difference of opinion. I have never felt compelled to win over ‘many masters.’ If they don’t want the ‘me’ of me, then I wish them well in their search; and it only takes one (or in my case, two).

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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Post #: 22

RE: Making assumptions - 3/16/2009 8:21:28 PM

crazyredhead1957

Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sblady

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I expect common courtesy when I show it to others. If I don't get it, that's that... I think less of them and move on.

Exactly!! It's all in the approach. When I'm met with anything less than courtesy, I usually ask the person to read my journal. Sometimes they still can't pick up the subtlety asking that they be respectful as they come back with the same inane comments. At that point, their e-mails are deleted. They could be UberDomMaster of the Universe...big whoop!! I haven't agreed to submit to them, so they're just pixels on a screen.

Edited to add: I've been called fake and everything but a child of God because I refuse to submit to an "e-mail". The only person I have to prove my realness to is my Sir.

Hi ChelseaNY,
In the past, when i was still "looking," i have been called a "fake" and told that i "need to be punished for disobedience and unruliness" by Doms i have only gotten a couple e-mails from and that i have never met. When i first got here on collarme i was new to DBSM & didn't know any different so i let it slide, but no more. i started writing back, "Sir, are You trying to Dom me by e-mail when W/we have no D/s relationship as yet?" and tell them "i will respect You but i will not submit to You because You are not yet my Dominant." IMHO All Dom/mes should be respected, but only your own should you submit to. As i've said elsewhere before, i feel if i submit to Everyone, my submission means less than nothing.

(in reply to sblady)

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Post #: 23

RE: Making assumptions - 3/17/2009 8:22:10 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Chelsea, I wanted to say that I very much liked your post. There have been quite a few threads related to the topic, but your has a wonderful way of looking at it. I especially liked that you made the distinction about specific circumstances. It made your writings a lot more pleasing to read than the normal rant variety. Thank you.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Post #: 24

RE: Making assumptions - 3/17/2009 3:58:24 PM

ChelseaNY

Posts: 33
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline

Thank Y/you very much A/all. Thank You especially LadyPact, i truly appreciate Your words.

I try not to rant hehe. As i said in my intro post, i was on the site a few years ago. I went to the chat rooms then and i go now, it is alot of fun and i love to rp. So i am respectful to the Dom/mes when they are in the room, but not those who pm me and think they can assume control. I think it's an even balance ! lol

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Chelsea Kya

"It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not"

"Pay no mind to those who speak behind your back, it simply means you are two steps ahead"

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Post #: 25