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unacceptable - 3/16/2009 1:29:12 AM

steviemichael

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just what is the meaning of the term to you unacceptable in your realtionships or your requirements.
it seems the word has become very open ended in requirements .
let me throw outt this for some feedback if someone o says in their profile or even in our personal realtionships we use the word unacceptable .
if something is unacceptable does that mean it was acceptable once before and what moral system ?
Rape meant when a person said NO non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?

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Post #: 1

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 1:40:16 AM

WyldHrt

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quote:

Rape meant when a person said NO non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?

WTF? Your whole post was incomprehensible, but this bit is hella confusing. Rape is rape and a world away from consentual force play. That said, hearing "NO" and deciding that it means "Maybe" is a good way to see the inside of a jail cell.

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Post #: 2

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 1:44:48 AM

HeavansKeeper

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I can't be 100% sure I follow what you're asking...

But I define "unacceptable" as a way of saying I refuse to associate with a certain behavior. Whether it's a law, moral (whatever that means) qualm, or ethical issue, I refuse to touch it. It could be a completely legal legit thing, and I still don't want it. For example, some dominants consider their submissive to smoke as unacceptable (And hence, do no accept/allow their submissive to smoke).

What a person accepts is a matter of preference. It doesn't matter who else has an opinion. In reality, it has no requirements. A person can believe something is unacceptable on completely irrational grounds. "It is unacceptable for my girls to wear socks" or "I do no accept submissives who wear green. My house, my rules."

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Post #: 3

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 1:54:17 AM

steviemichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Rape meant when a person said NO non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?

WTF? Your whole post was incomprehensible, but this bit is hella confusing. Rape is rape and a world away from consentual force play. That said, hearing "NO" and deciding that it means "Maybe" is a good way to see the inside of a jail cell.

i agree Rape is Rape !
and if that is correct then isint it also correct what is Right is Right and what is wrong is wrong.
But to another can use the word unacceptable to change what IS in their moral framwork .

_____________________________

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Post #: 4

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 2:18:12 AM

HeavansKeeper

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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

i agree Rape is Rape !
and if that is correct then isint it also correct what is Right is Right and what is wrong is wrong.
But to another can use the word unacceptable to change what IS in their moral framwork .

A situation can change its status. Lets say I'm at a bar and a heated exchange occurs. Killing the other man is wrong... Unless he pulls a gun on me. In one moment, killing would be wrong. The next, killing would not be wrong.

If any element of a scene (here meaning any occurrence in life) changes, no matter how small, one must reassess the parameters. Changes are normally small and have no net effect, but a working mind accounts for them anyways. If in the bar example, the new fact that he called my mother a whore was added, killing is still wrong.

At any EXACT moment, with certain FROZEN parameters, something is either right or not right. There is no middle ground. It is either wrong or not wrong, and either acceptable or not acceptable. Once the smallest thing is changed, we're discussing a whole new second situation.

Another way to look at it. Freeze a moment in time. At that instant, you know certain facts, have a certain upbringing, are in a certain situation. Combine them all and you get a feel for what you can and cannot accept.

Another thought... People use the word "unacceptable" a little loosely. Sometimes they say it when they REALLY mean "undesirable". Being strict about the word, "unacceptable" means "I will not accept the terms of this deal. If my choices are continue or die, kill me." (To be less dramatic, feel free to replace "or die" with "or walk away."

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Post #: 5

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 2:30:29 AM

steviemichael

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

I can't be 100% sure I follow what you're asking...

But I define "unacceptable" as a way of saying I refuse to associate with a certain behavior. Whether it's a law, moral (whatever that means) qualm, or ethical issue, I refuse to touch it. It could be a completely legal legit thing, and I still don't want it. For example, some dominants consider their submissive to smoke as unacceptable (And hence, do no accept/allow their submissive to smoke).

What a person accepts is a matter of preference. It doesn't matter who else has an opinion. In reality, it has no requirements. A person can believe something is unacceptable on completely irrational grounds. "It is unacceptable for my girls to wear socks" or "I do no accept submissives who wear green. My house, my rules."

in repect to you and you run your house on your rules and as you have stated "A person can believe something is unacceptable on completely irrational grounds".
this is the underline factor of my oringnal post despote it seems confusing but the word unacceptable can be a term to change your rules since one does not some of your rules or others rules are not aware what foundation or thinking process u may have to define them .

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Post #: 6

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 3:15:40 AM

VanessaChaland

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If a male and female are having sex, totally with mutual consent thus far, and the male is perhaps one or two "pumps" away from orgasm, she says stop, his body is almost involuntarily twitching, one more pump, he comes, is it rape?

I mean perhaps its as I said, one last involuntary twitch or spasm, a bioligical instinct dating back tens of thousands or millions of years, something that by the time her statement of "No" fully registers in his sexually charged and soon to come brain, its to late, one more pump, he comes, is it rape? Just asking. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Rape meant when a person said NO non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?

WTF? Your whole post was incomprehensible, but this bit is hella confusing. Rape is rape and a world away from consentual force play. That said, hearing "NO" and deciding that it means "Maybe" is a good way to see the inside of a jail cell.

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Post #: 7

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 3:22:28 AM

julietsierra

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Irrational grounds or rational grounds matters not one whit. If something is unacceptable to me, then regardless of whether I'm acting from a rational or irrational point of view in your estimation, it's still unacceptable to me.

Rape is never acceptable. "No" means "no" in my world. And even if it does mean "maybe" in someone else's, in mine, for someone to presume or assume that "no" means "maybe" is unacceptable.

And as far as a Master's preference for what his submissive wears, it doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense to you. It makes sense to him and that's who I follow.

juliet

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 8

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 3:37:18 AM

CNJDom

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
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Are we talking of the term "Unacceptable" or of rape? Unacceptable refers to a behavior or a set of behaviors that is found to be undesired and not-tolerated between two or more individuals. This can be in a singular response or a group response as in a societal norm. Rape would be one of those behaviors found not acceptable on a greater level. You'd be hard-pressed to find a community or society that would condone that behavior. And there are more or less extreme behaviors that would also be found unacceptable by the general population: kicking or abusing animals, picking someone ELSE's nose, and some may frown on poorly performed public masturbation. Showing an ankle was too much skin at one time in the human society as we know it, and was considered unacceptable. Madonna, Tommy and Pammy Lee, and Playboy have helped to deliver us from that being the case again in our current society...but there are still a few stragglers out there that still get bothered over ankles I'm more than sure....but for them that would not be a good case for arguing the term "unacceptable".

(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 9

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 3:43:32 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

just what is the meaning of the term to you unacceptable in your realtionships or your requirements.
it seems the word has become very open ended in requirements .
let me throw outt this for some feedback if someone o says in their profile or even in our personal realtionships we use the word unacceptable .
if something is unacceptable does that mean it was acceptable once before and what moral system ?
Rape meant when a person said NO non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?

I'm essentially dealing with the bolded text. Unacceptable means that someone will not accept something or some one. It is as simple as that. The term unacceptable has nothing to do with something being acceptable once and certainly, nothing to do with morals as far as the meaning of "Unacceptable" goes. I believe the OP is confusing the issue with reasons for unacceptability and not the meaning of the word.

On another track, OP I strongly suggest you would benefit by writing in Word or some other word processor with a grammar checker in place. This way you can take the time to read your post for clarity and Grammar. Your initial post is difficult to fathom because you appear to be dealing with several ideas at once and perhaps I could suggest that it is normal to use caps after the use of a period. It would make reading much easier and thus reply more accurately to your questions.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/16/2009 3:46:44 AM >

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Post #: 10

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 4:36:15 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

just what is the meaning of the term to you unacceptable in your realtionships or your requirements.

Something that I, alone, personally, can not live with.

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Post #: 11

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 5:11:27 AM

eyesopened

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From: Tampa, FL
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Your post raises more questions, it is unclear what you are asking and without specific clarification I can only guess what advice you seek.

The word unacceptable means, to most of the English-speaking people: something or person that is not accepted.
ac⋅cept
ækˈsɛpt/–verb (used with object)
1. to take or receive (something offered); receive with approval or favor: to accept a present; to accept a proposal.
2. to agree or consent to; accede to: to accept a treaty; to accept an apology.
3. to respond or answer affirmatively to: to accept an invitation.
4. to undertake the responsibility, duties, honors, etc., of: to accept the office of president.
5. to receive or admit formally, as to a college or club.
6. to accommodate or reconcile oneself to: to accept the situation.
7. to regard as true or sound; believe: to accept a claim; to accept Catholicism.
8. to regard as normal, suitable, or usual.
9. to receive as to meaning; understand.
So unacceptable is the opposite

If we look at the offered definition "to regard as normal, suitable or usual" then unacceptable means it is unsuitable or unusual. And as HeavansKeeper pointed out, what is suitable in one situation can be totally unsuitable in another situation. Tank tops, shorts and flipflops are suitable attire for the beach but not suitable for a black-tie dinner party. It has nothing to do with a person's morals, it's situational.

< Message edited by eyesopened -- 3/16/2009 5:14:49 AM >

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Post #: 12

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 5:11:46 AM

InTonguesslut

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Unacceptable for me is behaviour i cannot accept. However as with anything there are exceptions to every rule and i may tolerate something i find unacceptable once or twice.
I may also tolerate behaviour i cannot accept from one person and not another. It all depends on personal circumstances, situations etc.
Behaviour i will not accept now has changed over the years. At one time i would have accepted most forms of behaviour even though i found them unacceptable just to not rock the boat, stay in a relationship etc.
Not anymore though.

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RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 5:16:45 AM

CatdeMedici

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Unacceptable in My world means just that, I don't care if someone did "it" before, I don't care if the world says its ok, doesn't look ascance or it is indeed legal or illegal--its My circle, My rules--and if someone breaks one of those unacceptable rules--they are dismissed immediately--no if's ands or buts.

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Post #: 14

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 5:36:55 AM

chezzy71

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Joined: 4/19/2008
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Echoing most sentiments...unnacceptable means don't even think about it..it is going nowhere and will not be tolerated.

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Post #: 15

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 6:55:43 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

just what is the meaning of the term to you unacceptable in your realtionships or your requirements.

From dictionary.com......I am not sure why the definition would change meaning with each relationship

un·ac·cept·a·ble

var interfaceflash = new LEXICOFlashObject ( "http://cache.lexico.com/d/g/speaker.swf", "speaker", "17", "15", "", "6");
interfaceflash.addParam("loop", "false");
interfaceflash.addParam("quality", "high");
interfaceflash.addParam("menu", "false");
interfaceflash.addParam("salign", "t");
interfaceflash.addParam("FlashVars", "soundUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.lexico.com%2Fdictionary%2Faudio%2Fahd4%2FU%2FU0018600.mp3&clkLog=http%3A%2F%2Fwzqa01oak%2Fi%2Fb.html%3Ft%3Da%26d%3Dd%26s%3Ddi%26c%3Da%26ti%3D1%26ai%3D51359%26l%3Ddir%26o%3D0%26sv%3D00000000%26ip%3D%26u%3Daudio");
interfaceflash.write();

(ŭn'ĭk-sěp'tə-bəl, -āk-) Pronunciation Key
adj.   Not acceptable; unsatisfactory.
un'ac·cept'a·bil'i·ty n., un'ac·cept'a·bly adv.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company

it seems the word has become very open ended in requirements .
let me throw outt this for some feedback if someone o says in their profile or even in our personal realtionships   we use the word unacceptable .
if something is unacceptable does that mean it was acceptable once before and what moral system ?
To know if it was unacceptable before, you would have to give an example. It will change depending on the subject. Not sure what you meant with moral system?

Rape meant when a person said NO   non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?
If someone says no, it is generally a good idea to assume they mean no unless you know them and know they are role playing.

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Post #: 16

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 7:28:48 AM

masterlink65

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unacceptable is pretty self explanatory to me. check webster

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Post #: 17

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 7:32:55 AM

CreativeDominant

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Joined: 3/11/2006
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For me, the term "unacceptable" means just that...I will not accept something whether it is behavior or thought or words that go against my own moral code, my rules, my way of life whenever it seems that those behaviors or thoughts or words are going to end up causing either outright revulsion or constant increases in the tension levels.

My oldest um loves to say that my brother and sister-in-law are going to "have to get over what her mother did to me"...well, my um, in all actuality they DON'T. Nor do I. If she has the right to never get over my behavior at the end of our marriage, I have the right...as do those close to me...to not accept what she did to my reputation and hence, my practice. I can get along with her for my ums' sake...doesn't mean I care to be around her for any great length of time or to act as if it is completely in the past. I've lived with what she did...financially, mentally and emotionally...and words of explanation or apology 10 years later are unacceptable.

Forced play of any sort, be it bisexuality or gang BDSM or knife play or...to use what has been spoken of here..."play rape"... has a dark and edgy and fun aspect to it. I like it when the other party agrees with my assessment of it. I do not accept it as a dominant's way of handling a recalcitrant submissive when it is NOT part of her desires or wants or needs, not even at the dark edges of her soul. In that instance, it is unacceptable to me.

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Post #: 18

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 11:42:41 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

just what is the meaning of the term to you unacceptable in your realtionships or your requirements.
it seems the word has become very open ended in requirements .
let me throw outt this for some feedback if someone o says in their profile or even in our personal realtionships we use the word unacceptable .
if something is unacceptable does that mean it was acceptable once before and what moral system ?
Rape meant when a person said NO non consentual) it was not really mean NO it meant Maybe or is that also unacceptable ?

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\wtf\\/ \the whole world is open ended...sht man I thought it was round

ed to add: they were liars then?? the ones who said it was round?
look now that's completely unacceptable

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 3/16/2009 11:44:17 AM >

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Post #: 19

RE: unacceptable - 3/16/2009 12:25:34 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Unacceptable means, to me, an approach/behavior/mindset/etc. that I find to be at odds enough with some aspect of my own orientation to a degree where it needs to be changed or I need to be away from it.
As an example: I find sleeping with someone yet being treated with a lack of status unacceptable.
Davan

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Post #: 20

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