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RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 11:57:35 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Maybe, just maybe he's just not that into you

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(in reply to sailorfrank)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 12:06:59 PM   
thegirlincharge


Posts: 68
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		He does it because it strokes his ego to have you come back again and again regardless of how he treats you. Each time you give him more because somehow you believe that YOU did something wrong. Are you a masochist? Ok if you are, but then why complain? People treat you the way you let them. It is obvious what he gets out of this. Perhaps you should examine what you are getting out of this. you continue to do it so it must reap some reward for you.  (negative rewards are still rewards)

(in reply to kuuipo)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 3:54:50 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		the cm mails, the phone calls, the constant trying to get into contact.... for him, its all an ego stroke.  if the girl friend is checking his cell, they are obviously vanilla.  ummm... how dominant is he?  my opinion is he isnt dominant enough to have a vanilla life and a submissive at the same time.  he has lied by saying the girl friend says its ok... He then drops the bomb that he is in a relationship with someone (Vanilla) but that she was alright with him having a submissive (red flag number 1)... then the girl friend returns your text complaining that you need to stop.  sounds like he is lying to her too.

are you sure you want this man who cannot tell either woman the truth?

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to kuuipo)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 5:51:23 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I called him today anonymously and he answered. I wasn't expecting it and I got spooked so I quickly hung up. I then called back a few minutes


First of all, you are close to stalking him, and you need to stop that, if only because that is breaking the law. You should have accepted by now he is not available for you.

He has taken you for a ride, this is typical behaviour of somebody who is in a relationship already, and the text from the girlfriend very likely came from his R/L girlfriend, who caught him talking to you, which is why the phone went on the hook.

You have to understand the majority of both men and women on the internet are fakers, who have no intention to set up a real relationship. If somebody wants to cam and talk with you, but makes no real effort to get together, they're not going to ever be real.

If you and I were talking, connecting well, spending hours on the wire every day, I would by the end of the week offer to buy you a ticket. If someone doesn't start making efforts to meet, once you connect, there is a reason, and usually, that's that they're not free. In the future, call the guy at 2am "I wanted to hear your voice". If there is a missus, you'll hear her yelling in the background . If there is no answer, and some cockamamie excuse why he didn't answer the phone, same thing.

So there. Find another one, there are plenty to go around..

(in reply to kuuipo)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 6:34:07 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If you call me at 2am, I will be the one yelling.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 7:18:36 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		~FR~

Damn look at the drama. Those that cannot control drama in their life belong in a collar 24/7.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/17/2009 9:32:29 PM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline 		First, I start with the disclaimer: I don't know this man.  I know only some of his behaviour from the viewpoint of someone who also doesn't really know him.

That said, let's have a look at a possible timeline of events from his viewpoint.  Maybe it will help you to move on.
  • He thinks he'd like to dominate a woman and puts an ad on CollarMe.
  • kuuipo contacts him.
  • He doesn't know how to dominate over long distance and assumes kuuipo isn't a submissive.
  • kuuipo isn't sure she's submissive, either, and tries vanilla but comes back to CollarMe and contacts him.
  • From previous experience, he isn't sure kuuipo is worth the time but pushes to see if he can get his rocks off online.  kuuipo backs off.
  • Later, he is forming a vanilla relationship but wonders if that's what he wants.  He has a look at CollarMe and views kuuipo's profile.  Should he stick with the vanilla that is real, or hold out for the kink that never was real?
  • kuuipo contacts him and shows interest.
  • He is still wondering about his choices and tells kuuipo he has a girlfriend.  He still wants to find out if kuuipo could be a better choice, so he pushes for some subservience in the form of titillation (win-win on his part).
  • kuuipo comes up with the titillation.
  • His girlfriend catches on.  As the one that is real, she's able to apply the emotional pressure (and possibly the dominance) to keep the intruder away.
  • He keeps thinking that maybe he might have made it with kuuipo but won't risk the regular real sex he's getting to find out.  So he pines after the 'might have been' while sticking to the reality.
  • kuuipo thinks his interest means anything.  Perhaps it does, but not enough to make a difference in her life.  If she did anything 'wrong' it was in not moving fast enough years ago - but doing so would have been wrong at that time, since she wasn't ready.
Which leaves you with some lessons, perhaps, and a need to sigh for what might have been, then moving on with life.

(in reply to kuuipo)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 7:13:35 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

~FR~

Damn look at the drama. Those that cannot control drama in their life belong in a collar 24/7.


With a ball gag.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 8:39:40 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I agree with both Orion and LaTigresse. Those sprouting drama need to spend time in a collar wearing only a shirik and a ball gag. perhaps under strict disclipline of a Gorean Home..


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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 9:25:43 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

If you call me at 2am, I will be the one yelling.


I'll make note of that, dear


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 11:11:50 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Some may think this just a joke but it has a lot of truth to it. Every slave I have owned had drama in their life until collared. I do not allow that kind of drama around me. I may not have many friends because of that standard but I refuse to allow drama to cause problems in life. Life is just too short.

My girl now, orinsproperty, was taken from the area where her family lives. Her family thrives on drama. My girl used to horrible anxiety, and now she loves the peace and quite. We have discussed things and she has said that her life in a collar gives her more freedom than being out of a collar.


quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

~FR~

Damn look at the drama. Those that cannot control drama in their life belong in a collar 24/7.


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 11:20:07 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Dude is doing what many dudes do.  Chick is attractive but dumb.  Nothing like some free wacking material provided by some out of state sub.

Get over your pretty self and your nice ass.  If you have some photos laying around and you need someone else to treat you like shit send me a message.   I can lack interest with the best of 'em.



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(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 12:28:47 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		My thoughts:  He hasn't got the balls, guts, integrity nor honor to speak the truth to anyone, thus really only deceiving himself.
 
Then he has the gf call you and tell you off instead of himself.
A dominant?  No a HNG who wants a vulnerable woman to get himself off.
 
You don't need closure with him kuuipo.  You need closure for yourself.
Write the lessons learned in your journal.  I hope you have learned that love is lust to men and to women it is emotional attachment.  (I don't give a shit if it's a generalization, its true.)
Realize that cyber sex is beneath you.
Do not get emotionally vested with the I love you crap until you have a regular real time dom who is into you.
Closure is walking away and being a better person for it.
 
 
Edited to add: to the forums.      

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 3/18/2009 12:30:39 PM >

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I feel like I'm in High School again... - 3/18/2009 1:03:05 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		damn cheerleaders

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 34
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