RE: taking stock of something im not proud of

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/18/2009 12:21:37 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Hey, next week when this months relationship of yours ends in a disaster like all your other ones, I hope you repost about what your perspective is then about how masters are all perfect and you are filled with bliss.
.

Your words and their tone say far more than ever I could about why you are hanging around on Ask a Submissive.
But I am flattered you are following my career. Anything you'd like to ask?

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/18/2009 3:50:16 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Hey, next week when this months relationship of yours ends in a disaster like all your other ones, I hope you repost about what your perspective is then about how masters are all perfect and you are filled with bliss.

This is the type of spiteful, personal comment that ruins your, often, great posts for me.

agirl

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/18/2009 11:53:03 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

disbelief that anyone like Sir would want me or care about me enough to put the work in.

Are you willing to give up your disbelief in order to know that you are worthy of love, simply because you are you? Most specifically, are you willing to learn and realize that you are of value because this is inherent and not because he says so? Until you're actively willing to do these two things, I feel that you will remain stuck.

Think of someone you admire. List five traits they have you wish you had. Then make five mantras out of them stating that you ARE those things. What we admire in others, we admire in ourselves, only we don't want to admit that we're either worthy of admiration or that we have the traits to begin with or both.

Master Fire

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/19/2009 12:32:26 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

disbelief that anyone like Sir would want me or care about me enough to put the work in.

Are you willing to give up your disbelief in order to know that you are worthy of love, simply because you are you? Most specifically, are you willing to learn and realize that you are of value because this is inherent and not because he says so? Until you're actively willing to do these two things, I feel that you will remain stuck.

Think of someone you admire. List five traits they have you wish you had. Then make five mantras out of them stating that you ARE those things. What we admire in others, we admire in ourselves, only we don't want to admit that we're either worthy of admiration or that we have the traits to begin with or both.

Master Fire

Ma'am: I really apreciate the exercise that you have given to Lally.
I am going to do it. So:
The five traits I most admire in other(s) are:
intelligence
creativity
fortitude
consistency
kindness
I have pretty much spent a life time learning how to be better at those qualities.
HOWEVER....
That doesn't stop me necessarily looking for someone who acknowledges that I may have achieved the progress.

:

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/19/2009 6:56:29 AM

InTonguesslut

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quote:

I have pretty much spent a life time learning how to be better at those qualities.
HOWEVER....
That doesn't stop me necessarily looking for someone who acknowledges that I may have achieved the progress.

A little while ago i had a cmail from a reg poster here telling me they could see my growth and that one day i was going to be an amazing woman. I keep those words with me all the time although i probably hadnt realised it.
Every now and again i think we all need reassurance of how far we've come. Sometimes it is hard to see it for ourselves.

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/19/2009 1:34:18 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
A Master doesn't NEED to do anything in the M/s relationship in terms of changing himself either by consciously NOT reacting or by consciously trying to take a deeper interest.

You are right in that a master doesn't have to, unless of course he happens to be a decent human being who cares about the way his s type feels. If he's a selfish pig then he can continue to go his merry way wondering why he goes through s types rapidly.

Good dominants use all possible honorable tools to get the desired effect on the sub/slave. Bad ones don't take into effect what results they are getting. Instead they keep doing the same things and wonder why they don't get different results.

Now you can of course disregard what I say with your idealized views that a M/s or D/s relationship shares nothing in common with any other type of relationship, however I invite you to consider why the longest lasting relationships you see here are totally other than you espouse.

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/19/2009 6:22:32 PM

wisdomofgiving

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Hi InTongueslave
I am working on this now by myself. Holding my inner child by her hand and being very supportive of her. Even written a whole chapter in my book devoted to her:). It's a journey to say the least, but you Sir seems supportive and that is a good thing. Sometimes we need to embrace our own inner child though and heal first. Best of luck on your journey.

wisdomofgiving/oceanwynds

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RE: taking stock of something im not proud of - 3/20/2009 6:05:37 AM

rabinyaZharovna

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Yeesh... have I been there! lol... once in a while I still go there... the good news is that it will in all likelihood happen less and less for you. I ran the gammet on it all... insecure as to why he would/could possibly want me.. surely I wasn't worthy. Or, in the beginning when I could never seem to go more than three days without doing something wrong and being punished for it. (I was thankful he punished me, and it was NOT the fun kind of punishment, but I was scared... scared he'd think I wasn't being sincere about trying to please him, scared I was going to exhaust him, scared he'd realize I was entirely too much work!) As I got more attached to him and secure that he wasn't going to just ditch me then came the fear that something horrible was going to happen to him because surely, suuurely, nothing this good could last. Surely I couldn't get thiiiiis lucky! Good grief!

I think what you are going through is entirely normal, I don't think you need therapy. I think that the level of trust and vulnerability required in this type of a relationship puts us in emotional over drive for awhile. How could it not? Believing someone can really deal with you... all of you... and find enjoyment in you is hard to really wrap your brain around sometimes. We had lots and lots.. did i mention lots?? Of conversations on it.. him reassuring me that I was everything he wanted. Me feeling guitly for needing the reassurance, him explaining that guilt wasn't something I got to feel over this and on and on. Eventually it just got easier... I think in part though, perhaps not intentionally, we hit a wall that we must crash through, it's this wall of... you say I'm yours, you say you own me, you won't just release me... if I throw everything at you... all my ugliness, neediness, insecurities, craziness... will you really still be here? And at some point you realize that he's still there and you've busted through the wall.

One other thing I would concentrate on was something he said to me... You think the world of me, you think I'm wise and strong, and calculated in my decisions. You have absolute faith in me... so if you doubt your wothiness to be my slave, then really you are doubting me... you are doubting my decisons. You are saying that I was easily fooled... do you believe that's possible? To which I said no... no I know it isn't possible. He said... then let it go and trust me. Trust that when I took you I knew exactly what I was doing, that I decided you were worthy and that's all that matters.

Realizing that I couldn't doubt mysef, without doubting him, made a real difference for me. You know.... it was no big deal for me to doubt me, but for me to doubt him?!? Omg.. I couldn't.

edited cuz I can't spell or nuttin today :(

< Message edited by rabinyaZharovna -- 3/20/2009 6:09:00 AM >

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