Fun factor

Fun factor (Full Version)

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ScorpGirl444 -> Fun factor (1/24/2006 1:06:52 PM)
So I was lying in bed last night thinking of fun. You see, I'm all about fun. Fun is my middle name...sort of. Of course it can't be my actual middle name because that's not what my mother named me. You get the idea. [;)] My Dom, further to be known as my husband cause that's what I call him, and I were walking to our car yesterday and talking about how much fun we are. We're so modest, I know. Anyway. We are with a girl right now who we absolutely love. We're under the impression that she loves us to, especially since she says it every 3 minutes. [:D] We were discussing that we think she likes us SO much cause we're fun. No matter how much he is my Dom and I am his sub, we still act like...us. We're goofy. We smack each other in public for fun and we annoy each other for the sport of it. It's just who we are. We've been together for 10 years, we're 26, and we learned and grew in this lifestyle together, never forgetting who we are. Of course we know when fun is not something that can be done at a specific time...last night's punishment being one of them. I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. So I was wondering...how much of the fun factor do you have in your relationships with your subs right now and how much would you like to have there AND are you willing to compromise anything to get to that point? ~Scorp~

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 1:12:27 PM)
I posted in my LJ this week that I love how I laugh so much in scenes with my local partner. Having fun and laughing is a huge priority in my life.

Nuke718 -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 2:01:00 PM)
Sense of humor is more important to me than almost anything but honesty, both in my friends and in my partners. Outside of scene I am a total smartass, and love to laugh. In scene, I find that actually laughing at something funny is much less distracting than trying to ignore it and stay in role. I mean c'mon its a natural response, and denotes enjoyig ones self. I'll give an example. I had a woman bottoming to me that looooved anal play. So while I was using other implements on her I had a butt plug in. Well I INTENDED for it to be in. When she would start to get aroused her booty would end up popping the plug out. After the third time, I advised her that I was going to by a yard gnome for next time (did I mention I liked crude humor lol). Anyway, be yourself, and have fun, and if somebody tries to tell you how you aren't doing it right just make bunny ears behind them after they turn around. Nuke }:-

DelRey -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 2:01:50 PM)
yippy... "fun" I'm having fun just reading this post... yippy oh what fun

ScorpGirl444 -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 2:48:44 PM)
Wow. That was uncalled for.

Sensualips -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 4:19:33 PM)
I place laughter and fun as a pretty high priority in a relationship. But there is always room for more. My idea of fun may not be the same as someone else though. I am not sure what you mean by willing to compromise to get more fun. Like give up some protocol or authority if it would lead to more fun? Or like if he is super fun and makes me laugh I am willing to compromise on some other preferred quality. (Like honesty or commitment or fine ass some of those other overrated items.)

windy135 -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 4:30:20 PM)
I love to laugh. I love being around people that can make me laugh. It's a HUGE part of who I am. And when tickled I even laugh like a seal.. that part is scarey :)

ScorpGirl444 -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 5:49:57 PM)
I didn't mean anything specific when I asked if you would compromise something for more fun. Fun is whatever your definition of it is for you. The question really is just that...is anything worth compromising to have the level of fun in your relationship that you want? ~Scorp~

Sensualips -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 6:53:29 PM)
I feel compromise is required in all relationships. So..yes.

IrishMist -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 8:13:49 PM)
quote: I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. /scratches head in total confusion I need a clarification please? And this is in no way meant to be offensive, it's just how I read your post Is it your suggestion that since one can be totally immersed in who and what they are, that they are unable to enjoy who and what they are?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 8:23:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScorpGirl444 The question really is just that...is anything worth compromising to have the level of fun in your relationship that you want? ~Scorp~ Now I'm confused. If a partner suddenly came down with a cold, I would not leave them alone in the house just because we had planned a night at a club and I still wanted my fun. Really it wouldn't be fun for me anyway. If a partner had an ongoing illness, I would not end the relationship because there wasn't enough fun in it. That doesn't mean I'd have to give up a life of joy and laughter. Is that the sort of thing you meant?

MistressOfGa -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 8:55:09 PM)
Hmmm...I spend so much time laughing with my pup that time just flies. Hell, half the time our laughter is our foreplay lol We dont have 24/7, and we only get to see each other on the weekends, but we sure do make up for lost time. I dont know if I can be with someone who doesnt make me laugh, or I, he. I love his laugh..

OscarHargraves -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 10:20:16 PM)
The 'fun factor' is a large part of who I am and who I want to be with. If I didn't have fun with my Sub then she and I wouldn't be together. Compromise? Life is a compromise. We compromise every day so I guess I would say that, as part of my normal decision making, I would compromise to have more fun. Hell, I do that almost every day anyway ! ! I enjoy who I am and where I am now. I don't need to achieve anything or compromise my standards to get ahead. I DO see compromise as a means of living day-to-day and working in a relationship. That's both in and out of the BDSM world.

wolffeathers -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 10:28:49 PM)
I thought one reason people are into various aspects of BDSM was for fun? /me scratches head.... It seems there's alot in the manual I overlooked....... Me and my slave attempt to have fun outside of BDSM.... No, no we don't, as D/s is part of BDSM....sorry.... Only comprimises are when it pleases me, however.

Petruchio -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 10:36:32 PM)
I had often thought that many of the doms I'd seen at clubs seemed grim and lacked humor, admittedly a persona they may have felt compelled to adapt. I love to have fun and laugh and enjoy and believe sex and bdsm should incorporate any and all of it.

perverseangelic -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 11:23:27 PM)
Before I was with my owner, I was with another person who I also introduced to BDSM. WHen he learned about dominance, he began to adopt this...persona...that it seemed like he felt he had to be in order to be dominant. He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped being fun to be around. I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control. ~shrug~

MistressOfGa -> RE: Fun factor (1/24/2006 11:40:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic Before I was with my owner, I was with another person who I also introduced to BDSM. WHen he learned about dominance, he began to adopt this...persona...that it seemed like he felt he had to be in order to be dominant. He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped being fun to be around. I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control. ~shrug~ That is so sad. One of the first things people say about me when they meet me is "You are so funny" which of course is true lol I do tend to joke alot. If I had to give up sex or give up laughter, I guess I would be one horny broad! :)

BitaTruble -> RE: Fun factor (1/25/2006 12:47:39 AM)
quote: I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. So I was wondering...how much of the fun factor do you have in your relationships with your subs right now and how much would you like to have there AND are you willing to compromise anything to get to that point? Living with Himself is liking being in the audience of a Three Stooges marathon. He's a natural born ham and loves to crack jokes and be 'on stage'. His sense of humor is ribald and fast and we laugh all the time. Without his great sense of humor, we'd never know what, exactly, it took to get thrown out of the potato aisle at Cub Foods. But.. that's another story. Celeste

Jewelry -> RE: Fun factor (1/25/2006 2:59:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScorpGirl444 I've been reading a lot of posts on here and as much as everyone is into their roles, it seems like that's all they think about. So I was wondering...how much of the fun factor do you have in your relationships with your subs right now and how much would you like to have there AND are you willing to compromise anything to get to that point? ~Scorp~ Good topic! Previously I was with a dom that I think had trouble with this. Then again, I think he truly had not come to terms with who he was. Often after sessions, he would have trouble dealing with me as a person. Which was why I left! Sounds like you've got a really healthy relationship. Good luck to you. :)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fun factor (1/25/2006 5:49:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped being fun to be around. I felt like he thought that being in control meant never having fun and denying me fun as a show of control. ~shrug~ As someone who has gone through that, I can understand the perspective. You want to be stern, you want to be in control (and how often are doms bonked with the "You have to be in control first! stick?) and you want to have the submissive in a good mindset to be receptive. This unfortunately easily translates into being an asshole. With female dominants it's often referred to as being a bitch. I realized a few months ago that I found topspace tiring because I was always trying to project an air of aloofness and coolness. I did not want to have to be bitchy or cool just to enjoy a relationship as a top. Since then I've really worked on it and come to an understanding that domination doesn't go away just because you're laughing and relaxing together. However, I can see how it's a common misstep for novice doms to make.

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