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I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 6:47:38 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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I always get in trouble putting stuff in "Off Topic"...and can never figure out if it belongs in "Polls...and...."....or....

So here I am....

I need a girlfriend.

I don't want to be single anymore.

I have a big list....but mostly it involves her being nekkid...a lot.

(Often even).

I can't cook.  It would be nice if she cooked.  (And was nekkid a lot).

Keeping the house clean would be nice (because I travel a lot and can never find my socks).  I have a cat food thingy that feeds the cats, so she wouldn't have to do that....but there's a neighbor cat, (he's orange) which I actually like...he likes to sit on top of the cabinets.

Until I wake up at 3 in the morning...then he freaks and runs (frightened out of his wits)...until I come over to him just before he hits the kitty door....whereupon I calm him down, extend my hand, tell him "it's okay....really...it's okay....NOW RUN YOU FUCKING INFIDEL BEFORE I CRUSH YOU WITH SOMETHING EXTREMELY LARGE AND PAINFUL"

(Said of course, with love).

I have a fairly nice sized house (3,100 sf)....but I like all my shit where it is....which is usually on the floor.  (We can negotiate on this....but....isn't that what a housekeeper is for anyways?).

And the whole "under/over" thing?

Over.

(Why anyone would choose "under" is beyond me).

Let's talk about the Over/Under thing for just a minute.

What the hell is it about chics that you all like the under thing?

Is there an "under" thing that you all kinda go for?  What is it about the whole under thing?

Okay...let's move on....

Toilet seat.

My cats (for some unknown reason) like to drink where I pee.  I don't know why...maybe they want to be close to me...but they do....drink from...(as above mentioned)....

There's going to be water on the toilet seat.

I DID NOT PUT IT THERE!!!!!!!!

(Can we agree on this from the start....PUHLEASEEEE???????).

Right...let's move on.....

My socks.

I know they're not where you want them to be.  I'll buy you a car.

Honest to gawwwd.....I'll buy you a car.

My cats like to roll around in my socks....they find them rather sexy.

You came after the cats.

(Nuff said).

(By the way...if you want to roll around in my socks...I'm okay with that).

Money....

As a male sub, I'm entirely okay if you have some.

I'm more okay if you have enough to take care of me in the style I've become accustomed to.

I've thought about this a lot....and the more I think about it...the more I realize...I'd like to be a kept man.

(Note:  This does not exclude you from spending an inordinate amount of time being....nekkid).

So....

There ya have it....I'd like a very (or semi) rich woman, nekkid, who may or may not want to roll around (nekkid) among my socks....who could or could not end up on a wet toilet seat....whom I will probably buy a car for....who...naturally...prefers "over".

(With, in case I failed to mention....extremely large Tata's).

(Who would be nekkid often).

(All other things being equal..."nekkid, often" would trump just about everything else).

(Except of course...extremely large Tata's).


















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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 6:57:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Well, I prefer "over", and the tata's are obvious.... so I think that you need to expand your requirements, eh!

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:17:52 PM   
thornhappy


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I prefer under...just wait until your cat paws all of your "over" toilet paper onto the floor!

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:19:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Ah, see the parrot doesn't go into the bathroom!

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:20:12 PM   
thornhappy


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I used to give mine showers...

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:20:52 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Birdo gets hit with the spray mist, or the garden hose outside.  The SQUAWWWWWK of outrage in the shower is just too annoying. 

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:23:55 PM   
thornhappy


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Mine would growl at me (my grey or the senegal were good for growling!)

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:25:34 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


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LMAO  I'm just glad that Thorn posted that. I didn't really get the whole under/over thing until then... I thought we were talking about under/over the shirt.... lmao. Sometimes, I really am a bit of a stooge. 

I like my TP to be put however drives the other people in the house insane.  My ex's mom liked it over... So I put it on there under.  My dad always bitched about over, so that's how I put it on there.  My stepdad doesn't care, as long as it's on the dispenser thingy.  So I would hide it! LMAO!

But I do have big tatas..... And enjoy being nekkid.

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:25:52 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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I growl back at my grey baby!  He is SUCH a sillyhead!

Oh,  hey!  Ladies, LNN is looking for some company!

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:30:30 PM   
thornhappy


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The nekkid part sounds good...the socks are a bit out of the ordinary.

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:32:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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I have no particular interest in rolling in laundry... 

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:33:21 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


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Clean laundry, right out of the drier?  Sure... I've been known to do that....

Dirty fully of sweat, stink, and athletes foot germs?  No.... Thanks anyways. lol

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--Fannie
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AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:39:27 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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Okay...I've actually had slightly less than an hour to consider everything very carefully....and I've dialed it down to 2 things....nekkid...and bodacious Tata's.

Okay....Tata's.....no...wait....nekkid...no....wait....

FUCK!!! My head's exploding!!!!

Okay...wait.....

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:41:14 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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Okay....wait.....I think I have it now.....

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:41:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Oh please!  Most of us have that stuff in SPADES, have you LOOKED at our pictures??

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:44:00 PM   
SteelofUtah


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Lookie,

I just sent you a C-Mail I think I found the PERFECT GIRL FOR YOU... now you just need to figure out how to get her to be a Domme.

Steel

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:44:30 PM   
dreamofthemoon


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

The nekkid part sounds good...the socks are a bit out of the ordinary.

Yeah, the nekkid thing sounds good, too.  Though, as far as the under/over thing... i thought we were talking about bunk beds, heh.

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dreamy

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:55:11 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


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dreamy, Can I bunk with you??  :)

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--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 7:59:14 PM   
dreamofthemoon


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 Of course you can!

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dreamy

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RE: I need a girlfriend.... - 3/17/2009 8:04:34 PM   
LadyPact


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Thank you for the laugh.  I needed it after someone chose to contact Me in the past hour and decided to be particularly vicious.  This is besides the point, and I would much more prefer to thank you for My smile.

I don't blame you for not wanting to be single.  I can't imagine My life being so.

I completely understand your feelings about socks.  There was truth behind the joke that I used to tell often.  "Will Top for mated socks."  Oddly enough, this and prepared meals are the two things I miss the most.

Speaking of which, I don't cook.  I can cook, but I expect food as a service in a sub taking care of Me.  They don't have to have the ability to cook, but they'd better be able to order a mean take out and open their wallet when the delivery guy shows up at the door.  Otherwise, it's not that difficult to fry an egg.

About things that show up at the door, there used to be a cat who though he 'belonged' to the house, who we affectionately nicknamed "Broken."  He was an orange thing who had seen too many spats with other creatures and was such a pitiful cat that one couldn't help but love him.  One day, he went away in the same matter that he came, but he taught Me a lesson.  All things who have been treated badly in some way, still have the capacity to love.

As for the owned cats, yes, they were here before you, which means you won't move them out of the chair one chooses to sleep in.  A sub in My house would probably be on the floor anyway.

Close the damn toilet lid!  Get over your delusions.  They drink the water because it's cool.  It also happens to be very bad for them, no matter what cleaner you are using.  It has nothing, whatsoever, to do with you.

Neither does the dresser drawers.  Some cats just love being surrounded by cloth.

Speaking of which, I do, too.  I'm more the naked male, clothed female type.  I spend entirely too much money on the things I wear not to put them on.

For the money issue, come with your own.  I work entirely too hard earning Mine.  Any fantasies you have of being kept, you might as well close along with the lid to the toilet.

I like My own car, thank you very much.  I have no need for you to buy Me one.  If you'd like to give Me something, give Me something that comes from yourself.  I'll most likely put a limit on what you're allowed to spend on Me anyway.  Give Me a smile.  That comes without a pricetag and means infinitely more to Me.  The best tangible gift that clip ever gave Me was less than five dollars.  It's worth more than anyone could shell out a lot of cash for.  I do love beautiful things.  Some things from the heart are more beautiful than others.

On matters of heart, it is a requirement for you to understand that I have one and each member of this family has a place in it.  There is a place for the next member of it, too, but you can not usurp someone else's place.  I would not consider replacing them any more than I would consider replacing you.  If you have touched My heart, I will not forsake it.


With All Respect,


LadyPact




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