VeryNastyDom
Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
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A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says: "Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!"
"No" says the bartender. "I think you’ve had enough”
The drunk spies a dart board behind the bar. "Tell you what," he says. "If I can throw three bull's eyes with that dart set would you let me have the drink?"
"Sure," says the bartender, thinking the guy would leave after the little game. He hands the drunk three darts. "Look out, everybody!"
Twack, twack, twack. The drunk throws three quick bull's eyes. Well, the bartender had never seen anything like that before, but he has to make good on the wager, so he makes a martini and sets it before the drunk. He then puts a napkin next to the drink and sets a turtle on it.
"What's this," says the drunk.
"That's a prize for such fine dart throwing," says the bartender. The drunk drinks his martini, picks up the turtle, puts it in his coat pocket, and leaves.
Well, the next night, the same drunk goes into the same bar. Again, he is hopelessly inebriated; totally shit faced. "Bartender," he says. "Gimme a martini!"
"No" says the bartender. "You're already drunk. Why don’t you go home." Again the drunk notices the darts.
"If I can throw three bull's eyes would you gimme the martini?" he asks. The bartender thinks, "This guy can't be that lucky again. I'll get rid of him."
"Sure, sure," he says, handing the darts over.
Zip, zip, zip. Three bull's eyes. “Holy cow," says the bartender, and he gives the drunk guy a martini. Again, he sets a turtle next to it.
"What's this?" asks the drunk.
"That's a prize for being such a good shot."
"Oh," says the drunk, and he quaffs his martini, puts the turtle in his coat pocket, and leaves. Believe it or not, the very next night the same drunk enters the same bar, more inebriated than before.
"Gimme a martini!" he demands.
"No” says the bartender. "You've have one too many. Get on home."
Spying the dart board once more, the drunk guy says: "Would tossing three bull's eyes prove that I'm not wasted?"
The bartender can't believe that anybody this drunk could possibly hit the dart board, let alone get three bull's eyes. "OK," he says, forking over the three darts.
The drunk deftly grabs all three darts and tosses them simultaneously.
Thwock! All three darts land solidly in the bull's eye!
"Unbelievable!" says the incredulous bartender. True to his word, he prepares a martini and sets it before the drunk. He then lays a beautiful long-stem rose on the bar next to the cocktail.
"What's this?" asks the drunk.
"That's a special prize for being so good at darts," says the bartender.
"Oh" says the drunk disappointingly. "Guess you are all out of that roast beef on a hard roll, huh?"
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A drunk walks (barely) into a bar - 
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