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Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 4:47:32 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		It seems that one of the most common tidbits of advice that people choose to give in D/s and BDSM is "Know Thyself". In fact, recently I came across a thread where a poster suggested that one must know thyself completely and utterly, plus accept themselves for who they are before they enter a relationship.

I don't think it's possible. The only thing about life that never changes is that it is constantly changing. It is not possible to ever completely know yourself, and to think that you do, in my opinion, is arrogant and dishonest.

In my opinion, it is foolish advice and a foolish notion that one should know and accept and themselves before entering an intimate relationship. One of the things that I love most about my own relationship is the understanding and exploration I can have with my partner as I explore myself. Likewise, he obtains the same sorts of experiences, which can be applied to his knowledge of himself.

One thing a lot of newbs do when they enter a relationship is create a laundry list of will dos and wont dos. Those change. They change as we trust our partners, as we grow and move past the beginner stage. We will spend our entire lives striving to know ourselves, and it is possible we may never reach the end of that journey. We may never know it all-even about someone as close to us as ourself.

To keep with the theme of that advice, I would suggest to a new sub or dom: keep in mind your own personality and be true to it, because if that relationship ever ends, you'll always be stuck with you, and your own happiness is, ultimately, the most important thing.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 4:53:46 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

because if that relationship ever ends, you'll always be stuck with you, and your own happiness is, ultimately, the most important thing.

And this is why it is important to know and learn you befor you tempt to know anyone else.


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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 4:55:30 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		quote:

because if that relationship ever ends, you'll always be stuck with you, and your own happiness is, ultimately, the most important thing.

And this is why it is important to know and learn you befor you tempt to know anyone else.
============

THIS is WHY pappy told ME to look in that mirror....and if ya dont like whatcha see...
do something or shut up.





_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 5:38:21 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
male slave in wis
you crack Me up!
can you clean something
else tho now cause Im
really getting tired of
watchin ya clean the same
damn thing.

(in reply to veronicaofML)
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 5:42:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's perfectly possible to know who you are now, to understand how you fit into the world, to envision yourself as you will become.

And it's perfectly possible in 6 months for all of those to be completely different than what you know now.

And still have both be completely correct.

People come into wiitwd so often saying how happy they are to finally be free to be who they are. But they rarely take any time to actually understand what that means to them. Time and experience usually straightens it out for them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 5:58:50 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		Know Thyself.
Thou art.

...

He is called Apollo
Another is called Pluto
He is Delius (apparent)
The other Aidoneus (invisible)
He is Phoebus (bright)
The other Skotios (full of darkness)
By his side are the Muses, and Memory
With the other are Oblivion and Silence
He is Theorius and Phanæus
The other is "King of dim Night and ineffectual Sleep"

...

All things are possible and all things meet their opposites.

...

Ozymandias

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert...Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley, 1818

...

Nothing is sacred
Everything is permitted

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 5:59:42 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I would suggest to a new sub or dom: keep in mind your own personality and be true to it


Wouldn't that require at least a remedial knowledge of yourself to know what to be true to?

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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 6:40:19 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline
male slave in wis
you crack Me up!
can you clean something
else tho now cause Im
really getting tired of
watchin ya clean the same
damn thing.
===========================

like YOU deleting someone's email address behind their back?


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to MistressDREAD)
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 6:58:14 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, funny there's that "true" word again.

Kitten, a lot of what you say is right. But only partly. One has to know and understand themselves to an extent so that they are able to openly express themselves to a possible partner.

But you are right..... life changes daily. Just like learning. It's something that goes on daily.


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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 7:07:35 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		But you are right..... life changes daily.
-------------------------------------------------

???????????????????????

really?????

huh
far as i see it..mine aint much different now than it was back when i was nigh on 30 year old..
still living alone for 90% of the time, and still doing about what i wanna...
aint seen much for major changes..
awww a few less folks left alive now...but that's ok too.
most of em i couldnt stomach when they were alive anyway.


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to truesub4u)
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 7:13:49 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

one of the most common tidbits of advice that people choose to give in D/s and BDSM is "Know Thyself". In fact, recently I came across a thread where a poster suggested that one must know thyself completely and utterly, plus accept themselves for who they are before they enter a relationship.
I'm wondering if maybe you are talking about kinks/interest lists that people start with, because that has changed a good deal for me in the short time since I've become aware of wiitwd.

Knowing yourself I think is extremely important, but that has more to do with your core as a human being than a sexual one, and I don't believe that changes a great deal over time, unless one is introspective enough and bold enough to recognize unhealthy past patterns to try to correct/change them when needed (again part of knowing thyself).
Hope that makes sense. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/24/2006 7:14:25 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 7:22:11 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

I don't think it's possible. The only thing about life that never changes is that it is constantly changing. It is not possible to ever completely know yourself, and to think that you do, in my opinion, is arrogant and dishonest.

In my opinion, it is foolish advice and a foolish notion that one should know and accept and themselves before entering an intimate relationship. One of the things that I love most about my own relationship is the understanding and exploration I can have with my partner as I explore myself. Likewise, he obtains the same sorts of experiences, which can be applied to his knowledge of himself.


I tend to agree with this, lfe is ever changing everyday.
It takes twists and turns all the time that affect change in us.

I'd also say that I think you do need to become somewhat clear about what this lifestyle means to you and in how you what to engage it, before searching for another to share it with. This could be even the most simplest of the basics, to steer yourself to a person with the same ideals as yourself.
Having basic likes and needs gives growth a chance to happen.
After that I see nothing wrong with figuring out the jouney of your relationship or interaction, imaginatively together.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 7:27:22 PM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

In my opinion, it is foolish advice and a foolish notion that one should know and accept and themselves before entering an intimate relationship


How and why though is this foolish? The only way to effectively sustain a relationship is to know yourself first. If you don't know who YOU are, and accept YOURSELF for what you are, faults included, how can you expect anyone else to either?

quote:

One of the things that I love most about my own relationship is the understanding and exploration I can have with my partner as I explore myself. Likewise, he obtains the same sorts of experiences, which can be applied to his knowledge of himself.


I will not disagree. One of the most exhilarating experiences is growing in a relationship with another. But to grow together, you must first know who you are.

quote:

To keep with the theme of that advice, I would suggest to a new sub or dom: keep in mind your own personality and be true to it, because if that relationship ever ends, you'll always be stuck with you, and your own happiness is, ultimately, the most important thing.


This contradicts what you said in your fist paragraph.
quote:

In my opinion, it is foolish advice and a foolish notion that one should know and accept and themselves before entering an intimate relationship


If you are to keep in mind your own personality, then you must first know and accept yourself.

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 7:59:28 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I am new, I am inexperienced. I am no expert. I have done a lot of watching though. One of the obstacles that I observe in many is the lack of strong sense of identity. Many really don't know who they are or where they're headed and can't converse with you about goals or motivation, etc. They are just wandering around. Which is fine, nothing wrong with that. I am meandering a bit as well. I feel it makes you vulnerable to get caught up in whatever happens along.

To define oneself is an important exercise for me. It is ongoing, but I think everything falls into place so much more easily. If I don't know what I want, and why I want it, how can I express it to another person.

A few weeks ago I was doing a little bit of breath play on a girl, under the direction of an experienced Dom. I really, really liked it. But it was important for me to know why it revved me up. Was it because I received positive feedback and praise from him, for performing well? Was it because she got off on it, and I enjoyed pleasing her? Or was it just that intoxicating powerful feeling of gripping the throat? Or was it the sexuality of the whole situation? Obedience, pleasing, control, or sex? Or some combination and did it even matter. To me, the why matters.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 8:03:50 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		A remedial understanding is hardly knowing yourself inside and out. And I would think that simply living with yourself gives you some knowledge of who you are and what you like.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Know Thyself - 1/24/2006 8:37:24 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		A remedial understanding is hardly knowing yourself inside and out. And I would think that simply living with yourself gives you some knowledge of who you are and what you like.
---------------

i WISH. rhetorically here.......do you even begin to grasp how many people walk this planet w/o clue 1 of who they are OR what they want?

i had 3 wives tell me they thought...marriage would help...but they only guessed...
i know of too many people i have met in life that dont know what they want yet...

if YOU know===== then by the gods i am pickled tink for ya.

YOU would be one of the few that have a firm grasp of reality.

take care


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 16
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