RE: ...Mastered what, now?

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RE: ...Mastered what, now? - 3/21/2009 4:55:36 PM

ThomasMore

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"We pursue what recedes from us." - the Tao Te Ching

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RE: ...Mastered what, now? - 3/22/2009 1:14:42 AM

MaamJay

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I agree with most of what has been said, self-mastery is never over for Dom/mes or subs. However, I do think a Dom/me needs to get to a point where they feel confident and competent enough to handle someone else as well as themselves. Being in control of your temper, having good strategies for behaviour management, being able to explain things well, having good communication skills ... they are all important aspects. Not to say anyone is perfect all the time ... but a sub does need to have confidence in a Dom/me, both in their intent and their actions. It's about getting to know yourself, being open to personal growth and being willing to reveal yourself to your sub.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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RE: ...Mastered what, now? - 3/22/2009 10:59:13 AM

Jeptha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

If you look in the mirror in the morning and lie to yourself, you aren't ready to master a flea.

...How does one lie to oneself?
I mean... wouldn't you kind of know?

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RE: ...Mastered what, now? - 3/22/2009 11:10:09 AM

honeygirl

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Here's one example: an anorexic person who literally looks in the mirror and believes s/he is fat.

There are loads of others, that one is just the first one I could come up with. The brain is quite powerful at allowing us to delude ourselves, if we let it. One of my favorite books, Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert, discusses aspects of this in what I find to be an extremely entertaining and approachable way. Here's the link to the NYTimes review from a few years ago: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/07/books/review/07stossell.html

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

If you look in the mirror in the morning and lie to yourself, you aren't ready to master a flea.

...How does one lie to oneself?
I mean... wouldn't you kind of know?

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RE: ...Mastered what, now? - 3/22/2009 11:13:01 AM

antipode

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Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

one must master one's self before one tries to master another

It is entirely bogus. Can't make an omelet, and all that..

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RE: ...Mastered what, now? - 3/23/2009 11:09:57 AM

Jeptha

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From: Portland, Oregon
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I like where it says that 90% of drivers consider themselves "above average" drivers.

I don't believe that that would be the same amongst dominants though.

...Would it?

I know there are lots of areas of life where people don't do enough reality testing.

Sometimes it is good to have that friend (or girlfriend or partner, or whomever!) who is brutally honest with you.

I haven't had one of those kinds of slaps across the face (snap out of it!) in a long time.

Maybe that's a good sign. Or it could mean that I haven't been taking enough risks or learning anything new lately; or maybe that I just hang out places where happy, happy bullshit is the law of the land.

That's natural enough; we want to hang out where it's pleasant, after all. But too much of a good thing is still too much.

That's part of what appeals to me about a group therapy situation; not that I feel feel there's anything in particular "wrong" with me (...except that that in itself makes me suspicious), more that I'm not trusting the feedback, or lack of it, that I get from others, nor, necessarily, do I have *complete*, 360º faith in my own skill at self-perception (as per some of the reasons that the book review cited, among others.)

Not all insights can be gained from staring at the mirror or at one's naval... (or can they?)

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