How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (Full Version)

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GoddessTeaze -> How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 2:27:39 AM)

When You meet someone who interests You
on CM, how quickly do You lay Your cards on the table
to say this is who I'm, and this is what I want?

I know friendships needs time to develop,
to grow, and it's not the first thing you say to someone
who caughts your attention, but then when...?

AM interested in Your answers.

I wish You enough.

And a Lovely Spring day from The Netherlands.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`




allthatjaz -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 3:31:26 AM)

Are we talking ID and credit cards?



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 4:00:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Are we talking ID and credit cards?


I didn't knew My question wasn't clear, I mean D/s wise,
what do I seek, what am I looking for, what not.

Those cards.

Thank you kindly for your reply.

GoddezzT`




prpackaged -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 5:18:43 AM)

A very interesting question.  If I come on too strong then I know that the potential sub will run for the hills.  If I say little or nothing then the possibility of friendship and eventual domination will never be realized.  I count on my profile to give the potential a chance to see and understand what direction I wish to take.  I assume that the potential has adult like characteristics and will be able to form a basic judgment and interact in an inquisitive if not positive manner.  I understand althatjaz's comment.  If you talk ID then you are talking about simple steps that lead toward developing and if you talk about credit card then you talk about the high, how are you this is my name strip move in and let me beat you every night type of relationship.  I prefer to move at a pace that is in between.  Put out one or two things that are of interest and compare notes to find what is mutual.  I love to use a switch or cane but find that potentials are not all that intested in talking about that topic until some trust is achieved.



chamberqueen -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 5:39:57 AM)

When I joined CM it was as a Domme.  I found that in a lot of first emails from male subs they would come out and ask me what I was looking for.  The funny thing is that I wasn't looking for a specific list of things that I wanted done, but looking more for a certain type of personality. 

As a Mistress you have the upper hand - you can control when you want to start to give information about yourself.  If I was interested in a sub I was much more likely to say that something in their profile struck me, and tell them what it was, than to give them automatic information about me.  It was important to me that our personalities were a good blend before I started telling them who I really was.  I also found that a lot of subs didn't CARE who I was - they liked the photo and would have accepted almost any Mistress.  Thus I felt no need to start to open up to them quickly.  With others things seemed to click right away and then I felt comfortable letting them know a little more about me.

Choose on a case to case basis.  If you have some general information about who you are and what you are looking for in your profile that's a good start.  Typically the best candidates will make some comment on that, or on your journal entries.  Especially as a Mistress you have no need to open up immediately.  (Often subs feel that pressure because if a Dom is interested he will start to press for facts right away and sees it as a sign of insubordination if they are not forthcoming.)  Best of luck to you.



SailingBum -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 6:34:05 AM)

Not that I do the online thing.  I tend to look at the personality, thinking is this someone I wanna hang with.  Since I don't do the "play time" anymore.  The whole conversation of what are you into never comes up.  When I was into play that typically was in the first conversation if we didn't click in the kink area, the conversation was over.

BadOne



littlewonder -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 6:58:52 AM)

I do to a point..I tell them right from the start I'm seeking commitment, monogamy, a dominant personality man..but the rest just goes with the flow of conversations and getting to know one another.



DesFIP -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 7:44:48 AM)

I met him online. And what we both were interested in activitywise was put in our profiles. So we already knew we were compatible simply by reading the profiles.

This allowed us to skip over the basics and go on to seeing if we could be friends.



pinkwind -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 8:05:04 AM)

Andy did so with our first IM conversation, one that lasted five and a half hours and covered so much. We both did, and the exchanges that we had off the back of that initial chat were as open and frank as we both wanted them to be.

You get to our age and would rather not spend too much time skating around the edges of issues, making ineffectual small talk for the sake of it and only slowly moving forward. We have both been there before, and felt it better to be up front and honest with each other. It was actually very refreshing to be able to cut the crap and talk about the things that really mattered to us.




daddysliloneds -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 8:13:08 AM)

i'm an open book and my cards are layed out on the table before a first meeting; it's in my profile.



Tarowa -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 8:32:36 AM)


I am very much an advocate of the one word sentence, believing strongly the unspoken word speaks the loudest and we are judged not by the content of our character but by our words acts and actions.
Ultimately I tell it like it is in the least amount of words possible at the onset of any new encounter.



Lockit -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 10:31:42 AM)

I am always who I am and the cards are always on the table so to speak.  I don't want anyone thinking I have an ace up my sleve.  What you see if what you get if I wish to give it to you... but you will always see it whether you get it or not.



domiguy -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 10:46:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tarowa


I am very much an advocate of the one word sentence, believing strongly the unspoken word speaks the loudest and we are judged not by the content of our character but by our words acts and actions.
Ultimately I tell it like it is in the least amount of words possible at the onset of any new encounter.


I believe it is "not judged by the color of our skin but by the content of our character"....After all, our words and actions do rather define our character....But enough nitpicking!

We meet she is cool and attractive and she feels the same about me...We proceed, we seem to be overall rather compatible.  Things progress, she learns about me as I learn about her.

Fairly simple shit and concept.



LaTigresse -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 10:51:55 AM)

I am not into wasting time. I am a huge advocate of being clear about my interests or lack thereof, right away.



GreedyTop -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 11:01:08 AM)

yikes.. this is tough.  Since I wasnt really LOOKING,  Pirate and I started out just chatting as friends...

Once it became clear that it was moving beyond the just friends thing we discussed what we each wanted/expected/hoped for.  



domiguy -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 11:16:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am not into wasting time. I am a huge advocate of being clear about my interests or lack thereof, right away.


I agree, just cuz you are so fuckin' fuckable. 

Anywhooo, You lay your cards on the table.  But at the same time, not every single item has to be spelled out.  Afterall, upon meeting you may have yet to even catch a glimpse of the Domidong.  So I am probably not going to exactly spell out every nuance necessary to insure your fellating techniques will lead to success.

So if the chick seems sane and we appear to be heading into the sunset..I will let some shit be unearthed with time. 

Oh my God!  I probably should insist immediately on a gash shot or two...What if she is sporting some sort of a labial travesty?

I wonder..Do woman only post "good" shots of their go-go holes?  What if once the panties hit the hardwood you are staring at a totally unrecognizable twat?  What is the protocol in this obviously uncomfortable type of a situation?



WestBaySlave -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 11:31:01 AM)

  Almost immediately, and I'm quite happy if they do the same.

I like to know that there's a certain base line of compatibility before pursuing romantic possibilities, even on an extremely casual just-saying-hello getting-to-know-you basis.



Lockit -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 11:31:26 AM)

LOL... Domi... I guess that would be misrepresentation of a pussy and one might have some legal recourse (yeah okay) or the right to friggin excuse themselves and run!  Screaming that song... liar... liar...



Lashra -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 11:47:27 AM)

I lay out what I think its important at the time. I do not want to be with someone who smokes, does drugs or is an alcoholic. Those 3 weed out quite a few people. We discuss vanilla interests and a few kinky ones then if that looks good we can meet and see what happens. I never rush into anything and that in itself turns off a lot of people, so if they are not willing to wait then I do not need them.

~Lashra



BadJezebel -> RE: How quickly do You lay Your cards on the table with a new sub/slave ? (3/21/2009 11:48:04 AM)

Underneath it all, I'm looking for a real D/s connection.  It doesn't work if I don't get to know someone and learn thier thought patterns and motivators.  Because I want to build trust, I'm direct and candid from the onset. 



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