What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla?

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

[Poll]

tell her to leave him and come stay with us

20% (4)

just support her and tell her that he will come around

5% (1)

tell her to go back to West Virgina

10% (2)

just leave it alone

65% (13)

Total Votes : 20

(last vote on : 3/29/2009 4:30:57 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

viperandangel -> What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 2:41:05 PM)
This isnt about me but a dear friend. She moved to Califorina from West Virgina to be with a Master just over a year ago. For the first 6 months everything was fine. But now he has started saying her collar is nothing but leather and a key and that it is just for play, when she begs to be played with he says he doesnt want to be in a D/s relationship anymore and has out grown it, she is miserable and now he is just cruel to her mentally. All she does is throw herself in her work and cry. Yes i am a switch and she knows it and my Master would gladly let her come to our home just for safety and structure. But we dont know what to say or how to approach her as Master doesnt believe in taking or stealing a girl from another Master(or so called Master) so which option should we take.

CatdeMedici -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 2:45:54 PM)
Not enough information, relationships are seldom cut and dried and we as outsiders are hardly capable of making the decisions. If I were you, I'd keep My nose out and let them work it out.

SteelofUtah -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 2:52:40 PM)
None of your Business, it is her relationship to deal with, nothing you say, especially with from the OP you want her to come and be with you, nothing you say will help the situation all it will do is hurt the relationship between you and her. It isn't your business you cannot save the world. Just be there for her and help her to find her OWN road. Steel

windchymes -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 3:02:46 PM)
It just never ends..... He's just not that into her. Just because he calls himself "A Master" doesn't mean he's someone to entrust your life to. Time for her big-girl panties. Being a sub/slave doesn't mean you check your brains at the door. And so on..... And yeah, stay out of their business, but be there to support her if she wants it if she has sense enough to leave.

feydeplume -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 3:21:56 PM)
be a friend to her and help her see that there are options that don't include staying and being miserable. Be careful tho about taking her in. The amount of pain and anger she is going though can cause strain and upsets in a stable home. YOU would have to be sure in yourselves that you can give to her unconditionally for a time and then let her go completely when it is time. that is a lot harder than it sounds, and even harder to do. It is really open-hearted of you to think of taking her in, but please think about the reality of the state she will be in and how that will impact you both as well as her.

DesFIP -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 4:03:31 PM)
If she has a job, then she needs to move into her own place and take time to reassess what she needs. She certainly doesn't need a rescuer unless she is in immediate danger.

califsue -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 4:13:59 PM)
Like others, stay out of it and only be support. If and when she should chose to leave the situation, she will need time to work through the anger, grief and all the other emotions one goes through when a relationship ends. There are good suggestions in the posts.

MadameMarque -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 4:14:33 PM)
Well, I wouldn't "tell her to" do anything. But if she wanted some feedback from someone with more objectivity, I'd give it to her.

MadameMarque -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 4:22:07 PM)
Oh, P.S. - If you were to ask her to stay at your place, I would strongly suggest that it not be as someone of submissive status, to anyone, but simply as a friend who's visiting. Your master's concern that you'd be "stealing" a girl from someone raises the suggestion that you'd be taking her in as a submissive. Providing a friendly place for someone to stay has nothing at all to do with acquiring someone else's submissive or slave for your own.

FourQ -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/21/2009 6:40:49 PM)
Have you asked her what she wants? If she could do anything in the world, what would she do right now? I certainly wouldn't lead her in to anything at all. If I knew a good friend was hurting then I'd want to be there for them but that wouldn't include welcoming her in to a D/s dynamic. I agree with the 'leave them to sort things out' comments, but a shoulder to cry on is often welcomed by people under stress. Personally I'd give her a hug and take it from there but in a vanilla way. I'd say she has to choose what means more to her - the man or the lifestyle. That's the point of it though, it's her decision to make.

sirsholly -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/22/2009 3:40:38 AM)
quote: I'd say she has to choose what means more to her - the man or the lifestyle. That's the point of it though, it's her decision to make. yep...

LadyPact -> RE: What advice would you give a slave if her Master decided to come Vanilla? (3/22/2009 12:13:14 PM)
My answer wasn't an option on the poll, which would be none of the above. In this lifestyle, and in this life, we are sometimes faced with situations that challenge us. We don't always know all of the answers. Even the most Dommly Dom and the subbiest sub sometimes needs an ear to listen and a shoulder for possible tears. What we really might want is someone to just offer that hand to help us up a bit while we're feeling low or someone to be on the other side of the table/phone/screen while we vent. That's not a free invitation for anyone to try to step in and attempt to solve anyone's problems. It's an opportunity to be that person's friend. Sometimes, the best thing to do isn't to give advice at all, but to shut up and listen.

Page: [1]

0.0625